


The Best Version

by MegaRaye201



Category: Sing (2016)
Genre: M/M, Mental Health Issues, Most major characters present, rated for language, theatre family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-10-01 09:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 65,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10186676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaRaye201/pseuds/MegaRaye201
Summary: Surround yourself with the right people and they will motivate you to be the best version of yourself that you can be."What is success?" is the question that plagues all artists. With the opening of the New Moon Theatre and reunion of his friends, Johnny is quick to realize that he's fallen behind his peers and given his current homelessness struggles to catch up.Nana Noodleman has hired on an accountant for the theatre who is drowning in his own bitterness and depression in hopes of bringing light into his life.Will they be the right people to motivate each other?





	1. Setting the Scene

**Author's Note:**

> My first public fanfic in a REALLY long time! Enjoy! :D  
> -M

Chapter One: Setting the Scene

 

Johnny read the long list of prohibited items and activities posted on the wall again as he waited in the long line for check-in. Every Wednesday between the hours of 7am and 10am devoted spouses, parents and lawyers waited to see the inmates of the inner city prison. In the beginning, he found the place stifling and nerve wracking with it’s white cement walls, fluorescent overhead lighting and lack of windows. Now he was almost excited to see it and really develop a regular habit of visiting his father.

 

“Here to see your dad?” The rhinoceros behind the safety glass spoke in the muffled speaker box.

 

“Yea. He can take visitors now, right? I called yesterday and was told his solitary punishment was over. I think the lady’s name was Mary...or Marcia, that I talked to? Maria? I don’t remember exactly, sorry…”

 

The officer flipped through a list on a clipboard. Slowly. Johnny started to tap his knuckles lightly on the small counter, anxiously waiting to see if there had been some mistake and he would be sent away. The animals behind him groaned and called up from the back of the line. He only spared them a glance before the visitor roster clipboard was passed to him through a small opening in the glass.

 

“Sign on the next line. Booth 5.”

 

“Oh, thank you!” Johnny signed quickly before going to take a seat on the stool at booth 5. He looked through the glass to try and catch a glimpse of his dad before he noticed his reflection. He was visibly dirty and disheveled. “Ugh.” He ran his hands through his hair to try and make himself slightly more presentable and wiped his knuckles against a smear of dirt on his face he didn’t see before. He pulled the collar of his shirt to give it a quick sniff and groaned, feeling bad for the animals who had to stand next to him in line. 

 

“There he is! My favorite son!” His father’s booming voice was barely muffled by the glass separating them. Big Daddy squeezed his broad shoulders into the confines of the booth as he sat down and picked up the orange phone.

 

“I thought I was your only son. Hi Dad.” Johnny smiled up at his father. 

 

“Hey there, Johnny. How you doin’?”

 

“I’m good.”

 

“Really? Because you look like shit.” His dad stared at him with a scowl that was just the beginning of a long lecture soon to come. “When was the last time you had a proper bath or washed your clothes? Just because you’re living on your own doesn’t mean you can be filthy, Johnny. And if the washer’s broken, then fix it. I didn’t raise you to be a slob.” 

Johnny winced at his father’s words and looked down at the same jeans he had been wearing for...too long. He glanced at the security guards walking along behind the seats of the inmates. He waited for them to pass before speaking, 

 

“I can’t really get to the washer, Dad…”

 

“Yea, why’s that?”

 

Johnny kept eye contact with his dad and, to anyone else’s view, casually scratched the left side of his chest. But in his dad’s view that meant  _ cops. _ Cops were keeping Johnny from getting to the washer. The washer in their home, the hideout. Cops found the hideout. The hideout wasn’t safe anymore. 

 

“Where you stayin’ then?” His scowl grew more curious and concerned.

 

“Well, I still got the truck so-”

 

“Have you been livin’ in the truck this whole time?” His dad’s eyes grew wide.

 

“It’s not so bad-”

 

“Are you off your nut?! It’s bloody WINTER, Johnny! You’ll freeze to death!” He slammed his fist on the small counter of the booth, causing the other inmates and visitors to jump in unison.Big Daddy glanced back when he felt a nightstick tap his shoulder. The guard shook his head with a scowl, receiving only an eyeroll and grumble in response. He brought his attention back to his son.

 

“It’s southern California, Dad. It doesn’t get cold here. It’s fine.” Johnny lied. The nights were growing colder and it was getting harder to get a proper sleep.

 

“Well, you’ll get mugged then. If you haven’t yet it’s only a matter of time. It ain’t safe, Johnny. You’ve got...options, son. You know that.” 

 

_ Options _ . Caches of stolen money at various places around the city. Johnny knew where they were. He knew how much was in each one. His dad made sure he knew, drilled it into his head like everything else he ever taught him, in the event the gang had to bail in a hurry. It wasn’t enough to get his dad out of prison but it would be enough to cover anything he needed and for a long time. Cheap rent, clothes, food, his phone, gas for the truck. He’d thought about it, once, after breaking his last twenty dollar bill to buy himself the cheapest food he could find. 

 

He shook his head. He wasn’t going to be the cause of his father’s imprisonment and then steal his money. That’s what a criminal would do.That wasn’t him. Not anymore. 

 

“I know, Dad. But I can do this on my own. Really, I can handle it. The theatre is finally done being rebuilt so we’ll be back to business and everything will be fine. I promise. You don’t have to worry about me.”

 

“I worry about you every day…” His dad’s voice was quiet and it pulled at his heart more than his yelling ever did. “There’s so much more I need to teach you and now you gotta learn it all on your own.” 

 

“I know how to do stuff. I’m sorry that I’m a mess, I really didn’t notice. But I’ll take care of it, so don’t worry. I’m not a kid anymore, Dad.”

 

“Maybe not, but you’re  _ my _ kid, Johnny.” They sat in silence for a few moments. Hearing those words made something in his stomach tighten and the backs of his eyes tingle. His father sniffed a bit and cleared his throat, regaining his composure. “So. What’s the next show about? When’s it start?”

 

“We’re not sure yet. There hasn’t really been much in the way of rehearsals for anything but Mr. Moon has been throwing a few ideas at us while we wait for the re-opening. He wanted to have a show for the re-opening day but Nana Noodleman, the lady who owns the building, isn’t giving it a green light. I think it’s a money thing.”

 

“Yea, well, she probably doesn’t want him tanking her theatre. Ya know, twice.”

 

Johnny winced a bit. His dad certainly wasn’t wrong. Financially or literally. 

 

“It’ll be fine, Dad. You’ll see.”

 

“I hope so, son. I want you to be happy and succeed at anything it is you choose to do.”

“I will...I promise.” Johnny put his hand on the glass and smiled when his father did the same. He couldn’t mess this up. After all the damage he had caused, this was one promise that he had to keep no matter what the challenge or cost. 

 

Johnny walked out of the prison with his skateboard tucked under his arm. 15 minutes was really not enough time. He checked his phone as he crossed the parking lot.  _ 4 new messages _ . A group text from Mr. Moon.

 

[Mr. Moon: Hey Gang! Doors are finally open for us if you want to stop by and see it! She’s beautiful!]

 

[Ash: snds cool b thr l8r]

 

[Rosita: It looks great from the outside! :D <3 I’ll be there soon! I hope it’s okay to bring the kids along. There's no school today.]

 

[Meena: I’d love to see it :)]

 

Johnny smiled. It had been a few weeks since everyone was all together. He replied to the message and dropped his skateboard on the sidewalk to head down the hill and across town.

 

[On my way]

  
  


\------

  
  
  


The New Moon Theatre was a sight to behold. Bold, fresh, and new. There wasn’t a stain on the carpets, a scratch in the wood of the railings, or paint peeling off the walls. There was no smell of mold nor a speck of dust in the place. Nana Noodleman made sure of it. Any business endeavour that she had part of would be pristine. Always. 

 

She had purchased the property and paid for the reconstruction of the theatre. She had been part of every design team meeting to show her support and to make sure that the building was still reminiscent of its golden years while her new...associate, Buster Moon added in his ideas of modern flare. She admitted that his squid powered lighting was a wonderfully innovative solution but his other ideas left her feeling apprehensive or even completely put off. Grand plans needed to be balanced logistically if they were to succeed. 

 

The old sheep glanced over to the gorilla sharing the backseat of her vintage Rolls Royce, his grey eyes flipping through the dossier behind wire framed reading glasses. 

 

“If you had sent me this to review ahead of time, I would have called you back, laughing as I told you no, absolutely not, you crazy old lady.” His dry tone and frank familiarity earned a rare smirk from Nana.

 

“I know. That’s why I didn’t show you until now.”

 

“I should’ve known this would be a monster.”

 

“If you can’t do it, Benjamin, then you can’t do it. I’ll just find somebody else to handle this for me.”

 

“I didn’t say that I  _ couldn’t  _ do it, but I think I have a right to complain when you want me to build and run your grand theatre from the ground completely on my own.”

 

“You won’t be completely alone. You’ll have Mr. Moon to help you.”

 

“I don’t think you’re paying me enough to afford the amount of headaches I’ll be treating when Buster Moon helps me.” 

 

Nana Noodleman laughed as Ben flipped through the news articles and production history of Buster Moon. He had grand ideas and visions and an endless pool of energy and enthusiasm. That and his immense love of theatre were all he amounted to in Ben’s mind. None of those things would be useful to him. He looked at his companion over the top of his glasses.

 

“Are you doing this to me because I didn’t come to your Christmas party?”

 

“I’m doing this  _ for _ you because I know how talented you are. You deserve better than...whatever it was you were doing before. Your potential is wasted in that cubicle. Ugh...a cubicle.” Nana shuddered at the thought. She leaned to the side some to look out the window as the beautiful building came into view. It took her back to her youth, her glory, just for a moment. “This will be much better for you. Better for your soul. You need more light in your life, and I’ve found there is no better source than the theatre. And you’re the only one I can trust to take care of this for me, Benjamin.”

 

“No need to get all sappy on me, Nana. Of course, I’ll take care of it.” Ben smiled at her as he put his glasses in their case and into his sport coat pocket. The dossier went into his satchel as the limousine pulled up to the curb and the valet came around to open the door. He looked up at the grand building. “I like the squids.”

 

“So do I.” Nana took his arm and allowed him to walk her inside. 

 

\----

 

The lobby of the New Moon Theatre was stunning in it’s red and gold color scheme. Large poster frames hung straight and even along the walls, waiting for beautiful artwork to present. A small concessions stand was set up in preparation to sell merchandise and the least sticky snacks and beverages that Buster could convince Nana to allow. 

 

“Nana! Welcome!” Buster Moon walked out to the lobby in his signature royal blue suit, his arms outstretched and a smile big as ever. “What a wonderful surprise! How are you?”

 

Nana Noodleman released her companion’s arm and spoke without much regard to Buster’s questions.

 

“Mr. Moon, this is my associate Benjamin Nielsen. He’s going to help you run the theatre.”

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Moon.” Ben reached down and shook the smaller creature’s hand.

 

Buster’s ears dropped with his smile and he tilted his head slightly in confusion as he made Ben’s acquaintance.

 

“Yes, hello. Um. I’m sorry? Help me run the theatre? I know how to run a theatre.” A scowl started creeping onto his brow.

 

“I’m sure. But things are going to be a little different, Mr. Moon. I would like this theatre to stay open for a  _ long _ time, and Mr. Nielsen is going to make sure of that. I have given him full access to the New Moon Theatre’s accounts, prospects, and city records. Oh, don’t look so upset. He’s going to take care of all the official business and number crunching so that you can put your creative focus into producing high quality shows.” Nana strode past Buster to enter the auditorium. She walked down the main aisle towards the large stage. Even unlit and bare, Nana found it pulling her. “Isn’t it beautiful, Benjamin?”

 

Ben put his glasses on and followed behind Nana,  after  taking a copy of the building’s blueprint from his satchel and looking between the paper and the space around him. 

 

“Yes ma’am. It’s very grand. Excuse me, I’m going to do a walkthrough.”

 

Buster looked between Nana and Ben, unsure of who to follow, ultimately deciding to catch up to Nana.

 

“Is this really necessary? I mean, I know I made a few mistakes but...you didn’t even ask if I needed a...whatever Mr. Nielsen’s job is. I don’t mean to sound disrespectful but it feels like you don’t trust me.”

 

“I don’t see anything disrespectful about stating the truth.” Nana climbed the stairs to the stage and stood at its center, looking out at the sea of empty seats. The corners of her mouth turned up in a small smile as she let her mind wander to a time where the stage was her home. “And the title Mr. Nielsen has could be ‘production manager’ or something of that sort. He’ll make sure the same mistakes don’t happen again so this…” Nana gestured to the darkened auditorium. “...will have solid legs to stand on for years to come. Trust me, he’ll be of great service to you.”

 

\----

 

Ben flipped on the light switch to the backstage area as he performed his inspection with the help of the blueprint. A few small practice studios, dressing rooms, storage closets, small bathrooms, and a very large workroom made up the back quarter of the building. He opened every door, flipped every light switch on and off again, made sure levers and switches were labeled properly and checked for any sign of poor construction. He didn’t expect to find any, not with how much Nana had put into bringing this theatre back to life. 

 

As much of a challenge as this task was going to be, he was happy the old sheep had found something to work on beyond attending and hosting her various parties, fundraisers, and black tie events. The New Moon Theatre was going to be her legacy. Nana never said so, but Ben knew it in his heart. He would make sure it was going to be as grand of a legacy as she deserved. 

 

He rounded the corner to the workroom and looked up just in time to collide with a mass of black fur in a leather jacket. His glasses fell from his face and clattered on the wooden floor.

 

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you ! Here, let me get those…” Johnny quickly bent down, picking up the glasses and handing them back to their owner. “Sorry. Are you alright?”

 

Ben ran his hand across his map to try and smooth the fresh wrinkles in the paper to no avail and looked at Johnny with an irritated scowl. He took his glasses back.

 

“Yes, I’m fine. Who are you? Are you supposed to be here?” He looked Johnny up and down, unimpressed. Johnny pretended not to notice.

 

“I’m Johnny. I was part of the singing contest. Mr. Moon said the building was done and we could all come and see it. Are you going to be part of the theatre too, Mr..?”

 

“Benjamin Nielsen. I work for Mrs. Noodleman. She’s hired me on as the ...productions manager, I guess you could call it, for the New Moon Theatre.” The title sounded suitable enough from what he overheard from the stage.

 

“I thought Mr. Moon was our manager.” Johnny scowled, confused. Nana Noodleman wasn’t always fond of Mr. Moon but she wouldn’t replace him. Not from his own theatre.

 

“It’s more of a division of responsibilities. I take care of the numbers while Mr. Moon can pick...color schemes or whatever he needs to do. Mrs. Noodleman wants her theatre to be a successful business. So that’s what I’ll be making sure of.” 

 

“Right. Well, welcome to the theatre. I’m sure you’ll be a great help.” Johnny forced a smile. He never thought he’d meet someone whose gaze could pierce through your skin quite like his dad’s but Mr. Nielsen clearly had a skill for it. “Is that a map? They changed everything around back here.” Johnny leaned over to try and get a look. “Can I see it?”

 

Ben passed over the paper. He did recognize Johnny from the news broadcast he had caught online after his office was buzzing with excitement over the event. They were appalled he didn’t know about it and forced him to watch various pieced together clips of news footage and cellphone videos. He’d be a liar if he said he wasn’t impressed with the performances. Or if he said he didn’t find that voice attractive. Or that face, despite his filthy clothes.  _ Artists _ . 

 

 _Shower._ _Laundry_. Johnny found what he was looking for on the map. As long as he didn’t have to worry about an alarm system, he could get exactly what he needed without having to spend a dime. He could probably find a place to sleep if the weather turned less than ideal for staying in the truck. Mr. Moon knew what it was like to have no where else to go. He’d understand if he ever caught Johnny hiding out there. 

 

“It looks great. They did a really good job on the backstage area. The whole thing really.” Johnny smiled and handed the paper back. “Anyway, I’m going to go find Mr. Moon. There might be other people coming through the day. They’re all really friendly. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Nielsen.”

 

“Likewise.” Ben looked Johnny up and down as he walked away. He shook his head. “That’s enough of that…” he muttered to himself as he brought the blueprint copy back up to his face to continue his inspection. 

 

\----

 

“So, what duties would he taking over exactly?” Buster stood on the stage with Nana, trying to accept his new...business partner. He could understand where the actress might have her worries, but to hire someone without consulting him was hard to deal with. The two of them were supposed to be in this together.

 

Nana Noodleman looked up at the frame of the stage, admiring its detail and grand height. 

 

“Budgets, payroll, taxes, licensing…Give him a chance, Mr. Moon. Let him worry about the finances and legalities. You concentrate on producing art for this magnificent theatre. I’m sure you both can work together to make quality shows while making enough of a profit to keep the place up and running.” 

 

“I suppose that would be quite a relief. Are you sure he’s up for the job? It’s a lot to keep track of.”

 

“I would trust no one else. He has handled my business affairs before and has never failed me. This will be a rather large undertaking, so I hope you can help him get acquainted with life in the theatre. He is not accustomed to the arts.” 

 

“Hello, Mr. Moon!” Johnny came around from the backstage. He smiled when he spotted Buster. He nodded politely to Nana. “Ma’am.”

 

“Johnny! Oh, it’s good to see you again!” Buster’s ears perked up with his smile and walked over to his young friend. A rising star in the industry, he could feel it in his bones. “Welcome back! So, what do you think? Looks great, doesn’t she?” The koala gestured his arms out wide and looked around the auditorium. 

 

“Everything’s fantastic, Mr. Moon! I really like the changes they made backstage. Everything’s so new.” Johnny smiled; the enthusiasm from Buster was contagious. He looked around the theatre and felt like he was home again. “It feels so good to be back. Have you  been  figured out what the first show is going to be?”

 

“Well, I have had a few thoughts, but I’ll need to run them by our new...productions manager. I don’t know where he’s gone, but he’s around here somewhere doing...something. But, whatever is decided, there is definitely a place for you! I can’t wait to see you light up this stage, Johnny. I assume you’re interested?” Buster smiled up at him, a brow quirked up. The bright, excited grin on the young singer’s face was answer enough. 

 

“Absolutely, Mr. Moon. That would...be a dream!” Johnny looked out into the dark and empty seats. He could see them filled with an anticipating audience while he and his piano, an instrument he had grown unexpectedly attached to, enchanted them with music. His own music. He could see the destination. He just needed to figure out the way to get there, and Johnny was certain that Buster could show him.  

 

Ben came around the corner and passed Buster and Johnny to rejoin with Nana, a list written in hand. Nana Noodleman cracked a small smile at him and let her eyes roll at the sight.

 

“Of course you found something.” 

 

“It wasn’t much. Minor changes that can be made for the sake of cost efficiency and potential tax credits.” Ben looked at his list. Specialty light bulbs, electric water heaters, higher end climate control thermostats. Small ‘go green’ choices that, while more costly up front, could save them quite a bit in the long run. “Just suggestions to visit later if necessary. They did a great job in the construction, otherwise.” He removed his glasses and put them back in their case in his inside pocket. Nana nodded and smiled. 

 

“Splendid. I’ll be off then. You boys have fun and play nicely. I’m counting on you, Benjamin.” Nana began her descent down the stage stairs to walk her way back up the center aisle. 

 

“Of course, Mrs. Noodleman.” Ben tucked his list in his satchel and watched as Buster followed her down the stairs. He spared another glance in Johnny’s direction as the darker haired gorilla looked around the stage with stars in his eyes.  _ Charming _ . Ben shook his head a bit to keep himself from staring and made his way off the stage.

 

“Leaving already? Don’t you want to have a closer look around?” Buster pushed the door open for her and stepped out into the sunny city street where her driver was waiting for her.

 

“Unfortunately, I have a previous engagement for which I cannot be late. I could only spare the time to show Mr. Nielsen the theatre. But I will be making regular visits in the future. I want to hear what you decide for the next show.” Nana Noodleman stepped into her luxurious car when as the door was promptly opened for her. 

 

“Of course! Have a good day, Nana! Ciao!” Buster waved her off as she drove down the road. He found Ben waiting for him in the lobby, where two offices had been built instead of their original location upstairs. “Well, what do you think about working in a theatre, Mr. Nielsen? Nana said it’s not really your area of expertise.”

 

“A business is a business, Mr. Moon, whether you’re selling ice cream or art. Which of these offices have you chosen as your own?” Ben gestured to the two doors. Buster looked between them.

 

“Well, I didn’t exactly know you were coming so one has my desk in it and the other has a desk for my assistant, Ms. Crawley. She’ll be by later today. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing an office with you. We can rearrange some things around easily!” Buster grinned cheerfully as he looked up at Ben’s impassive face. The silence between them just reached the point of uncomfortable before Ben spoke again.

 

“I’ll need my own office, Mr. Moon.”

 

“Of course you will.” Buster’s expression held fast and didn’t falter externally. “Will the smaller office do for you then? If we’re two in one office, I think it’s fair we have a bigger space.” 

 

“That’s agreeable. Thank you.” Ben stepped into the smaller of the offices without another word and shut the door behind him, leaving Buster alone in the lobby. 

 

The koala’s grin quickly dropped into a scowl as he headed back into the auditorium. Buster grumbled to himself as he headed down the center aisle but quieted and calmed as he reached the stage. She never ceased to bring him peace. He put a gentle and loving hand on the wood. 

 

“It’ll be okay. We don’t have to like him, we just have to accept that Nana wanted a professional to run the books. I get it, but...this is going to be irritating. I’m doing this for you, old girl, don’t forget it.” 

 

“Mr. Moon? Who you talkin’ to?” Johnny peered over the edge of the stage, his brow pinched with some concern. Buster let out a chuckle and made his way back up the stairs to stand on the stage proper.

 

“Oh, you know! Anyway! What have you been up to?”

 

“Oh...you know.” Johnny shrugged and didn’t go any further. “Um, Mr. Moon, would it be alright if I used the washroom for a bit?”

 

Buster Moon smiled, knowing the look of a person down on his luck. He’d seen it in the mirror plenty of times. He wouldn’t embarrass him by prying, but he made note to be available and open if Johnny needed help or someone to talk to. 

 

“Of course you can! I’ll be going through the light boxes and things backstage. Towels are in the dressing room closet. Make yourself at home!”

 

_ Planned on it. _

 

“Thank you.” Johnny ducked backstage and locked the door of the dressing room. 

 

\----

 

Alone and in silence. Just the way Ben liked it. He looked around the sparsely furnished office and drew the mini blinds on the large window so no other animals could look in on him. He set his satchel on the desk and began making a list of things he would need to pick up.

 

_ Filing cabinets. How many though? How much paper does a theatre need to hold onto? Would a short set do or more? Definitely a computer. I have the spare laptop I could clean up and bring in. Save some money there. A calendar. I could use the online calendars but I like being able to look at a physical one...something about actually writing things makes it easier to remember and...just sit down. Relax. This isn’t your first job. Nana wouldn’t trust you if she thought you couldn’t do it. I can’t believe she left me here….yes I can. That’s absolutely something she would do.  _

 

Ben sat in the chair behind the desk and took three deep, slow breaths to bring his body out of the small panic it had started building into. He removed his sport coat and let it drape over the arm of the chair before reaching into his bag to take out a notebook and pen to start writing things down. A business was a business. Any business needed three things to be successful. A product to sell, a staff to sell it, and a realistic budget to make it all work. 

 

_ What is the product? Entertainment. Do we have the staff?...Maybe? And the budget... _

 

“I know nothing about theatre…” Ben grimaced at the thought of asking his new partner to help him figure out these details and what he should be putting down on his list. He’d made such a great first impression after all.

 

_ Way to be the office asshole in the first five minutes of day one. Good job, Ben. It’s a new record. Hooray. Fuck me.  _

 

“At least it’s not a cubicle…” He rubbed his hands on his face with a groan.  _ At least it’s away from them.  _

 

The dive had been easy. He hadn’t hesitated for a moment when Nana pulled up in her fancy car as he was walking up to that oppressive, towering building and said she had a job for him. He couldn’t get in the seat next to her fast enough and didn’t glance back as they drove away. Now that he was fully underwater he was having trouble remembering how to swim. He noticed the time on his watch. He was already almost an hour late clocking in. Ben took his phone from his satchel.

 

_ I should probably call...it would be the responsible thing to do.  _

 

He stared at the screen.

 

“Nah. Fuck it. They can call me.” He tossed the phone on the desk and looked at his notebook again. “I don’t owe them anything.” Pen touched paper again as he continued with his brainstorm.

 

\-----

 

To be truly warm again was a beautiful thing. The hot water of the dressing room shower soaked into his bones as he rinsed the dirt and grime from his fur and skin. Soap would have been a blessing but it was unfortunately not stocked yet in the bathrooms. It was only the first day they were allowed in the building and finer details were still needed. 

 

_ It’s alright. At least I have a nice big roof over my head again. Now that the theatre is going to reopen, I can hopefully get some money flowing in. My own money. My own, legit money. No more stealing. If I don’t earn it, it’s not worth having.  _

 

A gurgling from his stomach interrupted his thoughts. Johnny patted his stomach with a frown. It had been quite a while since breakfast. He opened his mouth to the hot water from the showerhead. It wouldn’t satisfy but it would stop the noises for a while. Johnny gave himself another moment under the hot water before shutting it off and reaching out of the curtain to grab the towel he had found. 

 

He dried himself off quickly and stepped out into the steamy bathroom. He made a face as he started putting his dirty clothes back on. 

 

_ Hey, it’s better than nothing. And I’ll wash clothes tonight once everyone has gone home. Still need soap. Maybe I can find some change and a laundromat near by. They usually have detergent dispensers.   _

 

He fastened his belt at the last hole and still felt his jeans sag on his hips. 

 

_ They’re just dirty...stretched out. A wash will make them fit again.  _

 

He looked at himself in the half fogged mirror and his brow furrowed at the sight. He turned and stretched to look at himself at different angles. Thin. Too thin, really. His Dad would say he was sick. 

 

_ Would anyone really care if I nicked food? $12 isn’t going to buy me anything that will last. I have no way of cooking, no way of storage...No one would judge me for that… _

 

Johnny shook his head and scowled as he put his shirt on in a hurry.

 

_ No. No. No. We dumpster dive first. I can do this. That’s not me anymore.  _

 

Johnny left the bathroom door open for the steam to vent and walked out into the dressing room. He chose a locker at the end of the row and let the towel hang inside. He took his phone charger from his jacket pocket and plugged it into the socket by the long row of mirrors. 

 

“I’ll leave you there for a bit.” He put his jacket back on and shut the dressing room lights off as he left. 

 

The thunderous sound of 25 pairs of tiny feet and laughter filled his ears as Rosita’s children all ran back and forth down the backstage hallway. Several of them broke from the group at the sight of him and attached themselves to his legs.

 

“Johnny!”

 

“Hi Johnny!”

 

“We missed you!”

 

“You smell!”

 

“Look, I can cross my eyes!”

 

Johnny windmilled his arms a bit to keep his balance and laughed at their endless energy and onslaught of questions. 

 

“Kids! I told you not to jump on people!” Rosita walked through her drove with practiced grace and plucked a few from the young gorilla. “I’m sorry Johnny. They just don’t listen sometimes.”

 

“It’s alright. I don’t mind.” Johnny smiled and patted the head of the little girl still clinging to his belt. “It’s so good to see you, Rosita.” He made note to refrain from hugging anybody until he got himself some soap. If the kids noticed, she certainly would. “What have you been up to?”

 

“Oh, a lot of the usual stuff. I’ve started taking weekly voice lessons on Thursday nights since Norman gets home a little earlier that day.” Rosita’s smile beamed like sunshine. “It was his idea! It’s been so much fun!”

 

“Voice lessons? But you sing so well already.” Johnny stepped to the side as several of the children ran in and out of the dressing room.

 

“Thank you. And I know but there’s always room for improvement. I was never formally taught how to sing so I’ve been learning some new techniques and exercises. I like the structure of it too. Plus, it’s good to practice anyway. It’s been very helpful and I’m really enjoying it.” Rosita tousled the head of a passing son with a sweet smile. “And it’s great to know Norman supports me enough to suggest it.” She glanced to the side and gasped when the sight of her children climbing on the stage ropes caught her attention. “Woah! No no no! Get down from there!” She hurried over to pluck them down. “This is not a playground!” 

 

_ Formally taught. Always room for improvement. New techniques and exercises.  _ Johnny slowly leaned against the wall as he let the thoughts sink into his head. He certainly wasn’t formally taught. Was that something worth looking into? Rosita certainly thought so and she was a fantastic performer. How much did something like that cost? If it was more than free he certainly couldn’t afford it. 

 

“Wow, I forgot how many kids she has.” A voice from below drew him from his thoughts and he smiled down at the top of many long quills. “Like a thousand?” Ash smirked up at him as she set her guitar case against the wall next to him. A noticeable amount of color had made its way into her wardrobe since the last time he had seen her. A hot pink shirt with bold block letters stated  _ All My Black Shirts Are Dirty _ peeked out from her red jacket.

 

“Something like that.” Johnny chuckled. “Hello, Ash. How’ve you been?”

 

“Whew! Busy. Check it out!” She held up a CD case to him with a proud grin. The thin paper artwork of the cover was held in place with clear tape and song titles were written in sharpie on the CD itself. “The physical copy is just for you guys, but it’s going to go online soon  too  for download.” 

 

“You made a whole album??” Johnny stared at her, wide eyed. “That’s amazing! Wow, congratulations!” 

 

“Now, I don’t want to see that on Ebay or anything when I become famous. It’s a special gift, just for you. I worked really hard on that cover. Like, a whole 20 minutes.”

 

“Oh no. This is mine. No one else can have it.” Johnny laughed and looked at the CD.  _ She made an album. All by herself. These are all her songs. _ He forced his smile to stay. Of course, he was very happy for her, proud to have such a talented friend, but something started to build in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t quite place the feeling, but it was not pleasant. He looked towards the main stage as he heard some very recognizable voices.

 

“Sounds like everyone else is here. C’mon.” Ash left her guitar case by the dressing room and headed for the stage as Johnny followed behind her. He tucked the CD in his jacket pocket. 

 

\---

 

Buster Moon felt such joy swell in his heart as the sight of all his favorite people back on the stage again. It felt like a family reunion. A good one. Everyone came back. Johnny, Rosita, Meena, Gunter, Ms. Crawley and Eddie! Buster chuckled.  _ Almost _ everyone came back. He remembered the postcard he got from Mike a few weeks back. 

 

_ Good luck turning that amateur house into something special! -M _

 

Miami was going to be good to Mike if he could keep his nose clean.

 

“Welcome back everyone! It’s so great to see you all again!” Buster brought himself back and grinned wide, arms open wide and inviting. The old lizard walked shakily over  him  and embraced him.

 

“Welcome home, Mr. Moon.” Ms. Crawley said with a smile and her words brought tears to Buster's eyes that he stubbornly didn’t allow to fall.

 

“You too.” He patted her back and looked up at everyone. “How’s everybody doing? Meena, how did your audition go? You didn’t tell me!”

 

The young elephant started to cover her face with her ears when she was singled out, but the smile on her face was evidence enough that things went well.

 

“I, uh, I got in!” She looked down at her feet as her face flushed at the various congratulations from the rest on stage.

 

“What did you audition for?” Johnny smiled up at her, trying to hide his own embarrassment at his poor skills of keeping in touch. 

 

“My church choir. My grandma told them about the show and they invited me to audition.”

 

“No stage fright this time?” Buster smiled, proud as he could be to see how far she had come from the first time he saw her.

 

“A little bit at first. It’s still hard being the center of attention, but I don’t freeze up like I used to. I really like singing as a group but they said I could try for solos if I wanted to.”

 

“ _ Ja _ , you should! Do all of them! You have great energy for the solo!” Gunter grinned and nodded as he swayed his hips to a beat that only he could hear and made the sequins of his track suit sparkle in the stage lights. 

 

“What have you been up to, Gunter? Still working at Studio 17?” Rosita took a mop handle from the hands of one of her kids without breaking eye contact with her dance partner. His face lit up with joy.

 

“Oh! I forgot to tell you! I made lead back up dancer! I get to dance Monday, Wednesday, and Friday now!” 

 

“Studio 17, nice.” Ash smiled and nodded in approval. “Maybe you can help me get a gig there.”

 

“Oh  _ ja, _ totally. I know everybody there!” 

 

Eddie stood by Buster and enjoyed listening to the conversation. He reached into his shorts pocket when his phone chimed. He read the text message and smiled. 

 

“Hey Buster, I just heard back from Marty at the  _ Times. _ They want to do the re-opening.”

 

“They do?!” Buster’s ears perked up with his smile. “Oh, fantastic! What time can they be here? Can they be here today? No!...we should have a party! A re-opening party for people to come in and see the new theatre! We could do food and maybe even put on a small show!” The chorus of agreements bolstered his enthusiasm. “It’d be great to get the public interest back!” The rest of the group began to talk excitedly amongst themselves about what they should perform for the party.

 

“Are we allowed to have a party, Mr. Moon? Shouldn’t we ask Mr. Nielsen since he runs the accounts?” Ms. Crawley raised her scaly claw to get her boss’s attention. Her mention made Buster’s ears drop.

 

“Oh yea…” 

 

“Wait, Mr. Nielsen? Which Mr. Nielsen?” Eddie looked down at Buster in confusion. 

 

“Benjamin Nielsen. Nana brought in an accountant to help me manage the theatre. She gave him all of the account information and everything. I mean, I get it, but I really wish she would have talked to me about it first.” Buster nearly pouted.

 

“Wait, Ben’s here?” Eddie looked around the theatre with the look of child who was dropped off with a babysitter. 

 

“You know him?”

 

“Oh yea. Ben’s family runs an accounting firm for a lot of the upper crust in the city. He used to come to a bunch of Nana’s parties and stuff. She’s had him take care of a few projects for her.” Eddie rubbed the back of his head. “It’s probably a good thing, Buster. Ben’s good at his job...but he’s kind of a jerk. Him and Nana get along like salt and vinegar...”  

 

“Great. So it really will be asking permission then, won’t it?” 

 

“With Ben, definitely.” Eddie nodded. 

 

Buster paced in a small circle as he tried to think of a sure fire way to make his new partner say yes. 

 

“I mean, I don’t understand why he would say no. It makes perfect sense to me why a party would be a good idea.” Buster snapped his fingers getting an idea and turned back to the group. “Alright everyone, I have some more news for you! We have a new member to our little theatre family. Nana’s signed him on as an accountant to help us run this place.” Buster continued when he got everyone’s attention. “I’m going to see if I can pry him out of the office to meet you guys. Each of you think of a reason why a party is a good idea so he’ll give us the green light, okay? Okay! Be right back!” Buster hopped off the stage and headed down the center aisle in a hurry.

 

Johnny stood quietly listening to his friends talk and chatter away. Everyone was doing so well. They were progressing and being successful at doing what they loved. Voice lessons, a first album, lead dancer, church choir...even Eddie had a thick book on stagecraft tucked under his arm. The feeling in the pit of his stomach grew into something thick and oily.  _ Failure. _

 

He had nothing to show for how much time had passed. Sure, he sang and started thinking about writing songs of his own for “someday”, whenever that was, but he didn’t sing for a crowd. He hadn’t joined any group or even kept in touch with this one well enough to know what they were up to. 

 

A small voice in his head told him that he had been dealing with more important things like keeping the truck repaired and gassed up and finding safe places to hang out or sleep. The voice told him that his friends had more resources than he did. 

 

_ Excuses. I’ve done nothing. Absolutely nothing. I’m so far behind. I can’t even answer them when they ask me what I’ve been doing! How embarrassing! It’s ok...I’m behind but I can catch up. Now that the theatre is opening again, I can get this thing moving. _

 

A few moments passed before Buster walked back in the theatre with a rather apathetic gorilla following several feet behind him. He climbed the steps to the stage while Ben chose to remain on the floor.

 

“Everyone! Meet Benjamin Nielsen! He’s going to help keep his new old girl running. Mr. Nielsen, this is everyone! I think you’ve met some of them already today but we’ll do proper introductions anyway!” Buster gestured to each member on the stage. “You know Eddie. This is Ms. Crawley, Johnny, Ash, Meena, Rosita and Gu-”

 

“Oh! Hello Ben!” Gunter grinned and waved enthusiastically. “It’s so good to see you! It’s been so long!”

 

“Hello, Gunter.” A softened brow was the only indication of a change in emotion on Ben’s face. 

 

“Oh, you two know each other too?” Buster looked curiously between the two of them.

 

“We used to go to the same parties downtown! So fun!” Gunter smiled at Buster and then returned his focus to Ben. “Why don’t you come out anymore? We miss you!”

 

_ Doubt it.  _

 

“I got partied out.” 

 

“Ah. Well, now you are in theatre! We’ll get your party spirit back in no time!” Gunter grinned and spun gracefully on the tip of his shoe. 

 

“Speaking of parties!” Buster segwayed himself into the conversation and stood in Ben’s line of sight. “We think it would be a great idea to have a grand re-opening party! Invite the public and the press to come see the new building. The  _ Times  _ has already expressed interest in wanting to stop by. We could have food, tours, performances!” He motioned to the group. “It would be a great leap forward to get the public interested in the theatre again!” 

 

“It’s already buzzing online and stuff.” Eddie chimed in. 

 

“Yea! We should ride this momentum! What do you say?” Buster grinned at him and Ben was suddenly aware just how many hopeful eyes were on him. 

 

This was very different from the other projects he had done. Usually he’d be sent an email with ideas like this and he could do research to find a reason to tell them no to save money since that’s what his higher ups wanted from him.

 

_ Fuck me. Is this what it’s like being a parent with cute kids wanting a new toy? Not that they’re cute...well...that one is. I have to look into it! They want food so that means catering. How much catering? Catering is expensive! And inviting the public will mean this place is going to get trashed. So clean up crew? Will they clean up? What would Nana do? Nana would tell you to say something to them, you’re internalizing too much and now they’re looking at you weird. SPEAK, IDIOT! _

 

“How big do you expect this to be? If you want to provide food for a public event that’s going to touch a budget that you don’t have yet.” 

 

“Um, Mr. Nielsen?” Meena slowly raised her hand to get his attention.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I could probably ask my church if they would be able to help provide food? We do a lot of big group events like picnics and stuff. Would that help?” 

 

Ben stared up at her, taking everything she said into account and then glanced around at the others as they praised her on her quick thinking. 

 

_ That solves the food problem but does it open up some sort of association problem? Is that allowed? Moon doesn’t look too upset about it, so I guess it would be fine.  _

 

“That’s certainly an idea. You said the  _ Times _ wants to come?”

 

“Yep! They want to report on the re-opening and maybe even do the ribbon cutting! They did last time.” Buster smiled as he was pulled back a bit into his memories. “I’m thinking just a few hours. We do some food that hopefully Meena’s family can help us out with, we can do some backstage tours, yea! And tie it all off with a small performance! It’d be really easy and we can probably do it in a very...cost effective way.” 

 

Ben sighed. He couldn’t think of anything that sent up red flags that Buster had not already taken down. 

 

“If you can settle the catering issue and keep control of your tours so nobody is wandering about unsupervised, then I think it’s manageable.” 

 

“...so, that’s a yes?” Buster smiled at him, hopeful but unsure.

 

“Yes.” The group cheered even as Ben remained apathetic to their enthusiasm. 

 

“Oh! Speaking of unsupervised, it’s way too quiet...Kids!” Rosita turned and started her way backstage to find the source of the silence. Johnny laughed with Ash and began to follow Rosita for back up. He glanced over his shoulder and noticed that Ben was already at the auditorium doors to go back to the offices. 

 

“What a stiff.” Ash commented as she followed his gaze. “I really can’t see him even going to a party let alone getting partied out.” 

 

“Well, people aren’t always what their day jobs make them out to be.” He grew a small smile. It was a sentiment he knew all too well. Being a criminal was never who he wanted to be.

  
_ Now that the theatre is back, I’ll never have to be again.  _


	2. The Opening Number

Chapter Two: The Opening Number

 

The slow shifting of the mattress woke Ben from his light sleep. His eyes opened for a moment before he closed them again to maintain the ruse that he was still asleep. He listened as feet shuffled against the carpet of his bedroom and the the door of the bathroom was quietly closed. He dared to open his eyes again to reach for his phone and check the time. 

 

_ 6:40. Plenty of time. Two missed calls from Mother and a voicemail. I’ll deal with that later. _

 

He carefully placed his phone back the way he had found it and closed his eyes again before the toilet flushed and water ran from the sink. He heard the feet against the carpet again. They stopped periodically around the bedroom and Ben followed them in his mind’s eye.  _ Picking up clothes _ . He noted the rustling of fabric and the sound of a zipper and belt. 

 

“See you later, Ben.” a voice whispered. 

 

Ben offered no response and didn’t move from his position until he heard the door open and close downstairs. 

 

_ He’s gone. Good.  _

 

Ben sat up in his bed and rubbed his face before reaching over to turn his alarm off on his phone. He pushed the covers off and the hair on his body stood on end in the cold. He rose from bed and began the search for his discarded pants from the night before. He descended the stairs from the bedroom to the main part of his loft and locked his entry door before turning on his coffee pot, it’s loud percolating filling the silence.

 

His bare feet padded lightly on the cold floor as he crossed the room to pull back his dark grey curtains to check the weather. The sky was a swirl of orange and pink over the cityscape as the sun slowly rose over the horizon. It was looking to be another beautiful day. Ben closed the curtain again.

 

He woke his muscles with a series of stretches on the cleared and open part of his floor. He held complicated poses for a minute each while maintaining slow, controlled breaths. Push ups, squats and lunges followed after and he performed the circuit until he felt himself starting to perspire but before his muscles burned and without raising his heart rate too far above normal.

 

He sighed, unsatisfied, and headed back upstairs to shower and dress for the day. His large closet held a variety of clothes and shoes for any occasion. He chose a well tailored grey suit and changed before he walked around his bedroom picking up any remaining pieces of clothing. He tossed them into his laundry hamper along with the sheets from his bed. 

 

With another trip down the stairs, Ben went to the kitchen and put his pre-made breakfast and lunch in his bag. He crossed his kitchen to pour his coffee in a travel mug and opened a cabinet to reveal an array of orange plastic bottles with white childproof caps. He took one pill from each bottle and masked their taste with hot coffee. 

 

He checked his watch as he walked for the door, grabbing his satchel along the way. 

 

_ 8:05. Good enough. _

 

Curtains remaining drawn, Ben left his apartment, locking the door behind him and headed for the elevator to start his second day at the New Moon Theatre.

 

The morning sun cast a bold orange light on the city, reflecting brightly off windows into his eyes. The streets were already flooded with commuter cars, taxis , and school buses. He moved around a few people walking down the sidewalk and approached the curb. He checked his watch and looked down the street before taking a sip of his coffee. An old yellow taxi pulled up in front of him and he got in the back seat, greeted by the smell of cigars and cheap cologne.

 

“Mornin’ Ben.” The raccoon cabbie glanced at him in the rearview mirror before pulling back out into traffic. “Here, from the Mrs.” He held his cigar in his teeth and passed back a small brown paper bag. 

 

“It’s not that kale and seaweed bread is it?” Ben took the bag and peered inside, greeted instead by the pleasant smell of fresh banana bread.

 

“Nah. Everybody agreed that we’d rather all be fat and die young than eat that ever again if that’s what it takes to be healthy. I hate them stupid fad crazes that she finds online. Like, my standards aren’t that high but if bread’s green that usually means something’s wrong with it, ya know? ” 

 

“Makes sense to me.” Ben nodded in agreement as he pulled off small pieces of the bread to eat. 

 

“Damn right it makes sense. I always make sense. So, where we goin’? You said you quit your job but you look dressed for work as usual. Or did you just drunk text me last night?” 

 

“I don’t think your wife would appreciate it if I were to drunk text you, Frankie. They’re very inappropriate. I work at the New Moon Theatre.” Ben looked out the window as the taxi drove through an intersection. Before yesterday, Frankie would have turned left to take Ben to his old job. He could make out the building settled between several other glass and steel skyscrapers of the financial district. Frankie’s loud and unrestrained laughter brought his attention back to the front.

 

“The New Moon Theatre?? The one that crazy koala runs? Seriously? No offense Ben, but I don’t think you’re the sensitive, artistic type. Unless you get some kind of rainbow colored bonus points.”

 

“Not in this case. Nana Noodleman owns the building and she has me taking care of the books, general operations and things like that. The boring stuff no one else wants to do or is any good at.”

 

“Oh. Well hey, good for you! Glad you’ve got some connections to get you out of that tower.” Frankie followed the traffic to downtown. “Hey, think you could get me some discounted tickets? I got some big birthdays coming up in my house. My oldest is gonna be 18 soon.”

 

“Tell Ann to keep making this stuff and I’ll see what I can do. I’m not sure how everything works yet.” Ben wrapped the remainder of the banana bread in the paper bag and tucked it into his satchel for a snack later in the day. The taxi pulled up to the curb in front of the theatre and Ben passed a twenty dollar bill to the front as he slid across the back seat to get out. “I’ll see you later, Frankie.”

 

“Text me when you’re done.” The cabbie merged back into traffic and took off down the street to go hunt for his fares for the day. Ben walked for the entrance and found a series of large boxes blocking the door.

 

_ I guess large boxes don’t get stolen.  _

 

“Good morning, Mr. Nielsen.” An old voice from below drew his attention. Ms. Crawley smiled up at him and then became delighted when she also noticed the boxes. “Oh! We’ve got mail! I hope it’s my new desk. Mr. Moon said I could pick out whichever one I wanted and told me to overnight it. I hope that’s okay with you.”

 

“You need a desk sooner rather than later. Um. Can I..? Ms. Crawley-” Ben rushed over and grabbed a hold of the large box as the old lizard strained to hold it up and carry it inside. “Why don’t I get these and you hold the door open?” 

 

“Oh, thank you. That’s very kind. They’re a lot heavier than they look.” She walked over and unlocked the double entry doors before securing them open. “But not for you looks like. You must exercise.”

 

“A bit.” Ben hoisted one of the boxes on top of his shoulder and the other under his arm as he walked through the doors towards the offices. The weight made his muscles start to burn and he spared a smile for Ms. Crawley as she shuffled over to unlock the office door. She directed Ben where to set the boxes down and patted his arm.

 

“Thank you again. Now I just have to put it together.” 

 

“Can you manage that on your own?” 

 

“Oh, yes. It comes with instructions.” Ms. Crawley opened the box and looked between the many flat wood pieces. “Somewhere in here, I think.” 

 

“Right, I’m sure they’re in there. Enjoy your day, Ms. Crawley.” Ben stepped out and unlocked the door to his own office.

 

_ You could have at least offered to help her. Asshole. _

 

Ben grumbled and shut the door, his blinds still closed from yesterday.

 

\---

 

No bizarre sounds in the night woke him, no chill left him shivering, and his muscles didn’t cramp from being confined to a small space. His jacket made a reasonable pillow and the carpeted floor was comfortable enough for the first night. 

 

Being clean had done wonders for his comfort level. Luck had been on his side when he went to investigate the nearest laundromat. The detergent dispenser was only 50c for small box of soap before an indicator light came on afterwards to alert that the machine was empty. The last one. He had used a third of it once the theatre had emptied and closed for the night. 

 

He had gone out the back door after saying his goodbyes and carefully placed a thin piece of cardboard between the door latch and its catch in the wall. With the door now unable to lock behind him, he was able to leave to find soap and quietly slip back inside to hide out until long after dark to wash his clothes. 

 

Johnny had been proud of his resourcefulness as he sat, his towel tied around his waist, waiting for his clothes to dry and passing the time by singing. He had sung quietly, still unsure about how deserted the theatre really was. Being quiet was essential for not being caught when one was hiding out.

 

He was curled up in a corner of the dark dressing room as he slowly woke from the first peaceful sleep he’d had in the last few weeks. He yawned and stretched before relaxing again. Johnny felt around the floor for his phone and checked the time. 

 

“After 9...better get up…” He rolled over and pushed himself up to his feet before shuffling into the bathroom to brush his teeth and tidy up the mess he had left from the night before. His stomach tightened and growled in hunger. Johnny looked down and scowled. “Can you not? I know you’re hungry. You don’t have to remind me every second.” He sighed and quietly unlocked the dressing room door.

 

Johnny walked silently as he moved backstage and kept to the darkened outer walls of the auditorium. He slipped through the doors into the lobby and heard the voices of Mr. Moon and Ms. Crawley.

 

“I don’t think this is the right piece, Mr. Moon.”

 

“Sure it is! The directions say piece D gets four of the small screws. This is the only piece D. Now just lift up your side and I’ll get the screwdriver.”

 

A loud crash hurried Johnny over to the offices. 

 

“Everyone alright?” He poked his head in the office and found Mr. Moon buried under pieces of wood and what appeared to be a table or a desk. “Oh! Here, let me get that.” He carefully lifted the pieces high enough to allow the to koala escape.

 

“Oof! Thank you! Thank you, Johnny. You’re here early,” Mr. Moon smiled as he  stood and brushed off the front of his shirt. “Excited for theatre, right?”

 

“Yea yea, sure. Definitely. I wasn’t doing anything today so I thought I might stop by and see if there’s anything I could help with.” The young singer returned the smile and then looked at the desk pieces. “I can put this together if you like. I’ve built a lot of these ‘do it yourself’ projects.”

 

“That’d be a big help , actually. I need to go meet up with Eddie and sort out things for the party. I’m thinking tomorrow!” 

 

“Wow, so soon?” Johnny looked up from the direction sheet. He started separating the tiny hardware pieces into like piles. Buster nodded.

 

“Oh yea! As long as Meena can deliver in time, which I’m sure she can, we’ll be golden! It’s going to be great! The start of a new glorious era!” Buster sighed and looked up at his wall. “I really hope they can recreate the first picture.” The koala’s endless enthusiasm was contagious. Johnny followed his gaze up to the old black and white photo and grinned. He was grateful to be a part of whatever Buster had planned. 

 

“That’d be a great photo to have, Mr. Moon. I bet they’ll do it just like that.” 

 

“We’ll see. Anyway, thanks again!” Buster headed out the office door. “Oh!” He peered back in. “If Mr. Nielsen needs me for anything, have him call my cell or Eddie’s. I’m sure he has his number too.”

 

“Yes sir, Mr. Moon.” Ms. Crawley nodded to her boss as he left and went back to sorting through the small hardware pieces. 

 

“Mr. Nielsen is here already too?” Johnny looked at the instructions and started laying out the various marked wooden pieces to make their assembly easier. He glanced up at the pane of glass that separated the two offices. “His blinds are still closed. Can you hand me two of the short dowels, please?” 

 

“He was here bright and early.” She passed him the pieces with a shaky hand. “I don’t think he likes to be bothered. Quiet types like Mr. Nielsen are often that way. Perhaps being in their own little world helps them focus on work.”

 

_ Sounds terribly boring.  _ Johnny thought to himself as he connected two of the wooden pieces. He remembered the conversation from yesterday that Ben and Gunter had.  _ I just can’t picture him at any party Gunter might go to. Maybe he opens up in the right environment.  _

 

The sound of the telephone ringing brought Johnny out of his thoughts and he glanced over his shoulder as Ms. Crawley shuffled over to the phone on Mr. Moon’s desk. He went back to building the desk.

 

“New Moon Theatre. How may I help you?” Ms. Crawley smiled when she answered the phone and listened to the caller on the other end. “Of course. Let me see if he’s available. One moment please.” She pressed a button on the phone and then reached over for the small intercom button. “Mr. Nielsen, I have your mother on line two, sir.”

 

“Tell her I’m in a meeting. Thank you.” Ben’s voice sounded over the speaker.

 

“Yes sir.” The old lizard went back to the phone. “I’m sorry, but Mr. Nielsen is in a meeting right now. May I take a message?” She found a pad of paper and a pen. “Uh huh. Urgent. I understand. Thank you and have a good day.” 

 

“Who is he meeting with?” Johnny reached over for another hardware piece as Ms. Crawley came back over to join him. She shook her head a bit.

 

“No one I’m aware of. Like I said, quiet types don’t like to be bothered. What part is next?”

 

In less than an hour, Johnny had put together a simple brown desk and wheeled a chair behind it. He helped Ms. Crawley set up her computer and moved the phone to her desk from Mr. Moon’s. The office was coming together nicely. A few more decorative touches and it would be done. 

 

“This looks nice.” Johnny put his hands on his hips as he looked around the room. “It’s all coming together.” His stomach growled loudly. He felt his face grow hot when Ms. Crawley chuckled.

 

“Sounds like you’re ready for a snack.” She found her purse and pulled out several dollar bills. “I have to stay here in case the phone rings, so why don’t you go get us both a treat. There’s a little shop just a few blocks down the street. They make lovely cinnamon rolls.” She held out the money.

 

“That’s really nice of you. Thank you. The cinnamon roll is what you want?” He tucked the money into his pocket. 

 

“Yes please. Thank you.” She nodded and swiveled in her chair to sign onto her computer. 

 

Johnny walked out of the office and towards the front doors, excited for breakfast. The thought of cinnamon rolls made his mouth water and stomach growl again. He pushed open the door and stopped.

 

“Maybe Mr. Nielsen wants something…” He muttered quietly as he glanced over at the closed office door. 

 

_ Quiet types don’t like to be bothered. _

 

He let Ms. Crawley’s words roll over in his mind. The worst that could realistically happen was irritating him and the best thing that could happen was making him feel more welcome. Johnny knocked on Ben’s office door.

 

_ How much of a “quiet type” can he really be if he used to go to the same parties as Gunter?  _

 

“Come in.” Ben sat at his desk, looking over pieces of the dossier spread around him. He scowled behind his glasses as he tried to decipher the theatre’s previous accounts to determine what it needed now. The inconsistent fluctuation of the balances made it extremely difficult and it alarmed him just how far in the red the account went before Nana rescued it. “The fuck...”

 

“Hey, Mr. Nielsen.” Johnny poked his head in with a smile. “Sorry to bother you, but I’m heading out to get food. Do you want anything? Coffee maybe?”

 

Ben glanced up over his glasses as he tore his eyes away from the numbers. He stared at Johnny’s patient smile and shook his head.

 

“I’m sorry, say again?”

 

“I said that I was just going out on a food run for Ms. Crawley and I figured I’d ask if you wanted anything? Snack, coffee, whatever.” Johnny stepped into the office and glanced at the papers strewn about the desk. “What’s all this?” He looked between the various papers. He heard Ben’s cellphone vibrate on the desk and spared it a glance. His mother was calling him again. 

 

“It’s, uh…” Ben hesitated. It wasn’t Johnny’s business what the papers were. He didn’t need to know and parts of them could be considered confidential. The question was harmless enough and Ben didn’t mind the distraction. Especially such a visually pleasing distraction. “It’s the dossier that Mrs. Noodleman put together for me on the theatre’s previous accounts. If I can figure out how the accounts flow, I can figure out what the theatre needs to run as a business.” He picked up one of the papers to look it over. “There’s a lot of movement even without a steady cash flow…”

 

“Wow.” Johnny nodded his head. He could understand what Ben was saying though it sounded like more math than he could ever handle. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. If Mrs. Noodleman trusts you then you must be very good at what you do. I don’t know if it helps, but we need soap? The dressing room bathroom doesn’t have any.” 

 

“...that does help, actually.” Ben found his notepad and wrote ‘general supply/soap/etc’ among his many other notes. “Thank you.” 

 

“Yea, sure.” Johnny smiled, very pleased with himself to be of use. “So, coffee?”

 

“Um…” Ben glanced at his travel mug. He hadn’t quite finished it but it was hard to say no to that face. “Yea. Why not.” He found his wallet in his pocket and handed Johnny a ten dollar bill. “Large black. Thank you.”

 

“Sure, anytime. See you in a bit!” Johnny left the office, closing Ben’s door behind him, and walked out the front doors. Ben stared at the door after Johnny had left and propped his head up on his knuckles. 

 

_ Hurry back.  _ He shook his head and rolled his eyes before leaning back in his chair.  _ Stop it. You’re acting like a teenager. He’s just being friendly. Don’t read into things. He would not be interested in someone like you. And don’t be extra stupid, getting involved with people at work. Is he considered a subordinate? Does he even work here anyway? He cleans up nice. Stop. He has pretty eyes. Stop, I said!  _

 

The sound of his phone vibrating shook Ben from his thoughts. He grumbled and picked up his phone. Four new voicemails, eight missed calls, and eleven text messages. All from his mother. He rolled his eyes and erased the notifications before silencing his phone completely and looking back at his work.

 

He heard the phone ring through the wall in Moon and Crawley’s office. The old lizard’s voice was muffled through the wall but came through clearly on the intercom speaker.

 

“Mr. Nielsen, I have your father on line two, sir. He says it’s urgent.”

 

“Thank you Ms. Crawley. I’ll take the call.” Ben sighed loudly after he turned away from the intercom and mentally prepared himself as he waited for the desk phone to ring twice before picking it up. “This is Ben.”

 

“Son,  _ please _ call your mother before she loses her mind.” His dad’s exhaustion was very clear in his voice. “She was reading terrible articles on the internet during breakfast and thought you had committed suicide until Amelia tracked you down.”

 

“Well, it’s still pretty early in the day.” Ben scowled and pondered just how his sister had managed to figure out where he had gone when he told  _ no one _ about his job change.

 

“Come on, Ben, that’s not funny. Neither is your resignation letter, by the way. ‘I quit. Signed, Ben.’ And through email too. I thought it was a bad joke until you didn’t show up for work twice. You’re working for Nana Noodleman now? Do I have that right?”

 

“She gave me an offer that I had to jump on. Nana doesn’t wait for anyone, you know that.” Ben swiveled in his chair a bit as he spoke to his father. “Listen Pop, I have to go. There’s a lot of stuff I have to put together and manage here.”

 

“Call your mother.”

 

“I will.”

 

“Call her  _ today. _ Please? She’s already set on coming down to see you in person if you don’t.”

 

Ben clenched his eyes shut at the thought. He could picture it clearly. Her coming down with her loud and demanding voice, embarrassing and chastising him at a thousand words a second. He could see Mr. Moon witnessing it. He could see Johnny witnessing it and he felt his stomach drop. He groaned.

 

“I promise I will call her before dinner.”

 

“Thank you. I hope your new job works out for you. Have a good day.”

 

“You too, Pop.”

 

Ben hung up the phone and took his glasses off, tossing them on the desk and rubbed his face. He knew it was too good to hope for, disappearing from their radar, but at least he wasn’t surrounded by them anymore. He sighed and found his glasses again to try and get back to work. 

 

\---

 

Johnny walked down the sidewalk with a smile on his face and humming a merry tune as he finished his cinnamon roll, licking the remnants of frosting from his finger tips. The sun was warm despite the chilled air. He carried a bag with the largest cinnamon roll he could get for Ms. Crawley in one hand and Ben’s coffee in the other. It felt good to be helpful. It felt good to be useful. It felt good to really belong and be around like minded people. He could feel things starting to turn around.

 

A blend of green and yellow in his periphery caught his attention and made his blood chill. Johnny ducked into the nearest alleyway and peered around the corner. Four leopards were walking up the opposite side of the street, their signature green jackets marking them as a gang. A very particular gang. The Emerald Crew.

 

_ Oh, man. What are they doing here? They never come this far West...Guess with Dad and the others locked up they don’t care. I’ll have to stay on my toes from now on…As if I don’t have enough problems... _

 

Johnny remembered the stretch of several weeks when his Dad and the Emerald Crew were butting heads over prime territory. Threats were made constantly. The Emeralds enjoyed violence and lined their turf in blood and broken bones. Luckily, his dad and the others knew how to handle themselves in and out of fights and eventually gained the upper hand. Johnny was never allowed a big part of jobs during those weeks but enough to know the Emeralds and for them to know him. It was almost a year after his dad knocked out the Emerald leader before he was allowed to go out on his own. 

 

He stayed in the alley and watched them closely as they passed. One of them glanced over in his direction and Johnny quickly turned on his heel and moved further back into the alley. He hurried down and turned the corner deeper between the buildings and out of sight.

 

“What’s up, Talon?” The leopards stopped and followed his gaze. 

 

“I thought I just saw Big Daddy’s kid…” The black leopard looked at the others. “You know, the little one.” 

 

“Johnny boy? Where at?” The largest of the group stepped closer to get a better look.

 

“Just over there. He ran off. I thought they got picked up by the cops.”  

 

“I guess not all of them...His old man has cash buried all over this city. I’d like to have a chat with kiddo.” The large leopard started crossing the street, his posse falling into step behind him. “Rip. Fang. That way.” He pointed down the street and two of the others broke from the group and darted down the block.

 

Johnny peered around the corner again and a small gasp escaped his mouth when he saw the two Emeralds had crossed into the alley, their hulking forms standing side by side blocked anyway of slipping past them. He moved quickly back around the corner.

 

_ There’s only two of them there...that means the other two are coming around.  _

 

He looked down the connecting alley. It was a long way to the sunny street. 

 

_ They’ll see me if I run. I might even run into them! Oh man! Crap crap crap! They’ve already got me! _

 

“Oh, Johnny boy! Is that you hiding back here?” The Emerald leader’s voice made Johnny’s heart leap up into his throat. “Come on out. We just want to talk…”

 

_ The hell you do. Can’t run. Can’t fight. Gotta hide. Gotta hide! _

 

The Emerald leader came around the corner, nearly pouncing, and tilted his head at the empty alley. He looked down its length as Rip and Fang found the other entrance. They stalked slowly down the passage, their sharp eyes scanning for movement or for anything large enough to hide behind.

 

“Where’d he go?” Fang yanked a dumpster violently from the wall to check behind it. It fell over on its face and Rip lifted the lid to check inside.

 

“Did you see him bolt?” The Emerald leader looked at the other two and then to Talon. “Check that door.” He nodded to the back door of the adjacent building.

 

“Locked.”

 

“Hey, maybe it wasn’t him,” Rip suggested. His comment was met with a smack to the back of the head.

 

“We still would have seen someone here, stupid.” 

 

“Shut up, both of you.” The Emerald leader growled as he scanned the area again. “We’ll keep an eye out. If he is skulking around this area, I want to know about it.” He turned his back slowly and withdrew from the passage, his fellows following behind him.

 

“You got it, Raze.”

 

Johnny could finally breathe once he was certain they were gone and he inched his way slowly and quietly down the steps of the fire escape. He dropped several feet from the broken ladder and landed with a thud. He fell to his knees and heard a tear of fabric. Johnny grumbled at the new rip in his jeans.

 

“Great...These are my only pants and I just washed them. Now they’re torn and dirty.” he groused before looking up at where he had managed to hide just before Raze and his boys cornered him. 

 

_ The best hiding spots are above you. Nobody looks up. Remember that, love.  _

 

“Thanks, Mum.” 

 

Johnny grabbed the bag and coffee he had placed on a nearby windowsill and weaved through the buildings and cut through stores to get back to the theatre. He glanced over his shoulder every few seconds and made sure to look around one last time before heading inside. He took a deep breath, feeling safe, and crossed the lobby to the offices. He noticed Ben’s office door open and Mr. Moon pacing inside as he spoke. 

 

“We’re all set for tomorrow! Meena and her church will set up food at the merchandise stand and the  _ Times _ will be here around 9 for the interview and photos. After that, we let in the public. I’ll send a message for everyone to practice something. Something nice and simple.”

 

“Sounds like you’ve got it covered. Listen, I need a list of your previous vendors for supplies so I can make contact with them and establish the accounts. We also need to talk about staffing.” 

 

“Vendors, sure thing! We can just go to a warehouse store for things right now. I think Rosita has a Costco card. What do we need immediately?” Mr. Moon noticed Johnny and stopped with a grin. “Johnny! There you are! Listen, I know it’s super short notice but do you think you could practice one of the songs on your song list for tomorrow? If not, it’s okay, you can sing what did at the show. That one should be easier to pick back up.”

 

“Well, I can take a look and see how things go. I’m definitely out of practice with the piano.” Johnny stepped inside and handed Ben his coffee and change with an apologetic smile. “Sorry it took so long.”

 

“Then that’s what I want you working on today! There’s a piano set up in practice room 4. Get your show song solid again and then try to work on the others. I’ll have Ms. Crawley meet you there.” 

 

“Alright, sure. See you later, Mr. Nielsen.” Johnny left the office after receiving a simple nod from the other gorilla and made his way to the practice rooms. 

 

He turned on the light and smiled at his new friend. The upright piano was nestled in the corner. The brown wood was shiny and new. It had a lovely matching bench and a light secured to illuminate sheet music. Johnny ran his hands over the wood and lifted the fall board to reveal beautiful polished black and white keys. He took a seat on the bench and adjusted his hands in the proper playing posture and began going through his scales. He missed this. The sound brought a sense of peace and the feeling of being home.

 

“Warming up already? Good job.” Ms. Crawley shuffled into the practice room with a folder of papers in her hands that had his name written across the side of it. “This is the sheet music from your song list. Which one did you want to practice?” She grabbed a folding chair to sit next to the piano. 

 

“Mr. Moon said to make sure I have the show song ready at the very least. It would be nice to have another song though.” Johnny took the folder and flipped through the sheet music. Sight reading was still very much a challenge, having learned by ear his entire life. Even when he first began learning the piano as a child it was by listening and repeating the sound. “I don’t think I could learn any of these well enough to perform over night...”

 

“Probably not. Let’s focus on the show song and shake the rust off of that one.” Ms. Crawley climbed into her chair and listened as Johnny played through  _ I’m Still Standing _ . The first few measures took some concentration until his fingers remembered the rhythm. He smiled at his tutor and played through the rest of the song with ease. 

 

The energy was different than his first performance. Without the nerves of being in front of an audience and the pain in his heart over the loss of his dad the song was much more relaxed. He played through it again and smiled as he sang the lyrics that he’d come to grow very attached to. He played through it again and again, each time more confident than the last until he finally stopped and smiled at Ms. Crawley.

 

“I think I’ve got this one. I want to work on another. It won’t be ready for tomorrow but I think I’m good to start another one.” Johnny reached up and grabbed the folder off the top of the piano and flipped through them again. He knew more than half of them already from listening to them on the radio. It was the piano part he really needed the practice with. “What do you think of this one?” 

 

“Let’s see here…” Ms. Crawley took the piece of paper in a shaky hand and her good eye scanned over the paper. “It doesn’t look too complicated. I think this would be a great one to practice. I like the lyrics too. Is it a newer song?”

 

“I think it came out in the early 2000s?” The song was old to him. He took the sheet music, set it up on the stand and stared at the notes on the page. “Okay...so…” He pressed down on a key.

 

“Nope. Try again.”

 

He pressed the one next to it.

 

“There you go.”

 

Johnny got through the first five measures before the others showed up. The day was busy with socializing, practicing, and going through the set with Mr. Moon. Given the time constraints, Gunter and Rosita were comfortable performing their song from the last show. Ash was ready to play one of her new originals and Meena had been enjoying a new song that she was feeling comfortable enough to sing in front of an audience. 

 

During a break, Meena told him about the food her church was preparing for tomorrow’s re-opening lunch. It took everything he could not to beg her to stop as his stomach twisted itself in knots at the description of each new dish. He would eat good tomorrow. 

 

Night came quickly and everyone left to go home. He tossed and turned on the floor of the dressing room trying to get comfortable enough to go to sleep but his mind was still buzzing. Everyone was still so far ahead. He didn’t even get through a whole run of the new song before the day was over.

 

_ If I don’t do some serious practicing I’ll never catch up.  _

 

He pushed himself up with a groan and left his dressing room sanctuary. The theatre was a strange combination of eerie and enchanting, so dark and silent. He walked quietly to not disturb the stillness and found the piano. He closed the door and turned on the lamp. His sheet music sat where he left it. He shuffled the papers around to find the first page and started going through the measures again.

 

Buster smiled as he peered through the glass of the practice room. He knew Johnny was hiding out backstage. The New Moon Theatre was the young singer’s home now just as it was Buster’s. He rubbed his arms against the cold before he silently crept away to his own hiding place to sleep.

 

_ Poor kid. I bet he’s freezing back here. Too bad we don’t use those old sandbags anymore. They were a comfy bed once upon a time. I could get some fabric. I bet he’d make use of that. We’ll need it anyway for costuming and set design. _

 

“That’s better.” Johnny smiled and nodded as he finished the first line with confidence. “Okay. Here we go.” He made notes on the sheet music and continued to the next measure.

 

\---

 

“Come on in everyone! We’re setting up the buffet right over here!” Buster exuberantly lead Meena and her church to the side of the lobby that had been set aside for them. Many long fold out tables had been brought in to accommodate the massive spread. “Wow! You did all this overnight?”

 

“This morning.” Meena smiled as she carried several covered bakery trays. “We do stuff like this all the time so it’s really easy.” 

 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then. It sounds like you’ll have everything under control. There are extension cords running from around the corner if you need them. I have to make sure everything is all set up for the ribbon cutting.” Buster trotted off to find Eddie. He found him standing by the door with Marty. 

 

“Buster! This is so exciting! Thanks for letting me do this.” The hyena grinned and held her large camera up to her eye. “Smile!” Buster grinned and posed proud as a king as the camera flashed.  

 

“No no, Marty. Thank _ you _ ! Nobody in this town can get a better shot. So, I was thinking we do the ribbon cutting first and then if you want, you’re welcome to go with the rest of the public to take pictures of the whole event. And I want a copy of the ribbon cutting. At least an 8-by-10.” He smiled up at her.

 

“For you, Buster, I can do better than an 8-by-10.” Marty smiled and looked around, camera ready. “Call me when everyone’s here and you’re ready for the ribbon cutting.”

 

“You got it! Happy hunting!” He chuckled as he watched her wander off to look for more pictures to take. “This is going to be great, Eddie! Is Nana on her way?” 

 

“She said she would be here at 9, so yes. Nana’s never late for stuff. She’ll be here, don’t worry.” Eddie smiled and checked his phone anyway. “See? No news is good news.” 

 

“Not in the theatre, it’s not.” Buster noticed Rosita and Ash coming up the steps and hurried over to open the door for them. “Ladies! Welcome! Come on in! We’re just getting set up.”

 

“You know, you could have called us to come sooner and help.” Rosita smiled as she adjusted her purse on her shoulder as she walked over to help another animal carry a dish. 

 

“Yea, seriously.” Ash blew a bubble with her gum before bumping fists with Buster. “Is everyone here already?”

 

“Gunter just texted to say he’s on his way and Johnny’s...making sure everything is set up backstage.” Buster smiled.

 

“He is? When did he get here? I’ve been here since 7 and I didn’t see him.” Eddie looked down at his friend with an confused arch in his brow.

 

“Oh, a while ago. Don’t worry about it.” Buster offered his hands out to take Ash’s guitar. “Why don’t I take this and you can help set up food? Thanks!” He held the instrument up high so it wouldn’t drag on the floor and headed through the auditorium doors. The lights were still dark as he hurried towards the stage. Buster sang loudly the first song that came to his mind to rouse the young gorilla from wherever he was snoozing the morning away. He heard Johnny practicing long into the night until he, himself, finally had to go to sleep. 

 

_ Oh! Let's all go to the lobby; _ _   
_ _ Let's all go to the lobby; _ _   
_ _ Let's all go to the lobby _ _   
_ __ To get ourselves a treat!

 

He climbed up the stage stairs with purpose, making the loudest footsteps he could as he continued behind the curtain and towards the practice rooms. He belted his song out so that it echoed all through the backstage area.

 

_ Delicious things to eat; _ _   
_ _ The popcorn can't be beat! _ _   
_ _ The sparkling drinks are just dandy; _ _   
_ _ The chocolate bars and nut candy! _ _   
_ _ So let's all go to the lobby _ _   
_ _ To get ourselves a treat! _ _   
_ _ Let's all go to the lobby _ _   
_ __ To get ourselves a treat!

 

He heard a slam of piano keys and came around to Practice Room 4 where he found Johnny looking at him wide eyed, the fur on the side of his face flat as if slept on, and he had no shoes on his feet.

 

“Uh, good morning, Mr. Moon! I just...came by early to practice! I hope that’s okay.” Johnny did his best to hide his guilty face and prayed it wouldn’t be noticed. 

 

“Not a problem at all, Johnny! Good morning to you too!” Buster smiled brightly as he set Ash’s guitar against the wall. “How’s the practice going? Let me hear it!” He stood by the piano and closed his eyes to properly listen. 

 

Johnny smiled and played the melody he’d practiced all night until his eyes refused to stay open. The music was slow and peaceful, a ballad instead of a high energy song. He quietly hummed the notes of the lyrics as he played with confidence. He looked down at Buster with a smile hopeful of praise once the last key faded. 

 

“What do you think?”

 

“And you told me yesterday that you were rusty! That was beautiful! Way to step it up!” Buster grinned ear to ear, proud and amazed at the dedication he was seeing. “Please tell me you’re doing that today!”

 

“Yea, I can definitely do that. Ms. Crawley’s lessons are great.” 

 

“They’re certainly doing wonders for you! Now, let’s go help with the party. Everyone’s almost here.” Buster headed out of the practice room.

 

“Sure thing! I just, uh, left something in the dressing room. I’ll be right there.” Johnny followed him out and shut himself in the dressing room to quickly tidy up and put himself together.

 

\---

 

“All creatures, great and small! Welcome to the New Moon Theatre!” 

 

The ribbon was cut, pictures were taken and everyone was heading inside the lobby, congratulating the cast of the singing contest for their efforts in restoring the theatre to its glory. They were being very loud about it, in Ben’s opinion. His office door did its best to block out the noise.

 

_ Some of us still have work to do. _

 

He grumbled and continued to type at his laptop. He had already set up a calendar for the theatre that morning, and one for himself that he could share with Buster to have every meeting and event all in one place. 

 

He had called several general supply vendors for quotes that morning and was still trying to figure out what sort of stock numbers would be best to have in place. Ben had a few phone numbers of other theatres written down in the event that he couldn’t get a satisfactory answer from Buster or Ms. Crawley. 

 

There was still the matter of staffing to discuss…

 

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. He sighed.

 

“Come in.” The sound of loud chattering from a lobby full of people rushed into his office, now unmuted by the door. 

 

“I knew I’d find you hiding in here. All of these fine windows and you give yourself a larger cubicle.” Nana Noodleman looked at Ben, unamused, and gave her fan a gentle wave.

 

“I’m working.”

 

“I have no doubt. Come, take a break and enjoy the festivities.”

 

“Nana, please. I’m really busy.”

 

“You sound just like your father. Come.” She turned and left the door wide open. Ben glowered at the old sheep as her words bore right into his gut. He tossed his glasses onto his desk and groused and muttered under his breath as he stood, following her out of his office and promptly shutting the door behind him.

 

Ben looked around at the gathering of people taking up the lobby and felt immediately uncomfortable. Nana had worked her way back into the crowd, taking up conversation with ease, as she always did. 

 

_ What am I supposed to say? ‘Hi, I’m Ben. I do the books.’ That’s stupid. At least the food smells good. That’ll be fine. Go get food, say thanks to the church folk for making it, and go back to work. That’s an effort. Good enough. _

 

Ben grabbed a plate and stood in line. The people from the church were serving the dishes as people held their plates out with smiles and thank yous. He scanned the room again and found him easy enough. 

 

Johnny was several places ahead in line, taking a serving from every station with a smile on his face. He stopped and looked up at the old elephant passing out biscuits. 

 

“Sorry, ma’am, but you gave me two..?” the young singer inquired.

 

“I know a hungry boy when I see one. Go on now, you enjoy those.” She shooed him along with her trunk.  

 

“Thank you, ma’am.” He smiled gratefully and left the end of the line, not waiting to sit down before taking several bites from his pile of food. 

 

“Ben!” The shout made the gorilla jump a bit and he looked down at Buster’s ever smiling face. “Welcome to the party! Glad you could join us! When did you get here?”

 

“Just before 9. You know, when work starts.” Ben stepped to the side to let the line pass unhindered. 

 

“Oh. Really? I didn’t see you come in. Well, I hope you’re enjoying yourself.” Buster turned to leave when Ben continued. 

 

“Since you’re right here, I need to talk to you about staffing.” 

 

“Staffing? Right now?” Buster gestured to the gathering around them.

 

“It’s a really important expense and it’s holding up my work. I need at least a...skeleton crew number for what you think it will take to run this place so I can put some  re semblance of a budget together.” 

 

Johnny leaned against a wall as he cleaned his plate of every crumb of food. It had been so long since he felt full. He looked over at the line and wavered back and forth on if it would be proper to try and ask for seconds. He noticed Mr. Moon and Mr. Nielsen near the tables and was able to pick up a few words about their business. 

 

_ They’re looking to hire people? That’d be perfect!  _

 

“Hey Moon! We’re all set up back here!” Ash called from the auditorium doors. 

 

“Oh! Terrific! Sorry Ben, this conversation will have to continue later.” Buster headed for the doors, ignoring the scowl he received from Ben. “Johnny, head on back and make sure you’re set up too!”

 

“Wait-can I ask you about...oh, okay.” Johnny watched as Mr. Moon walked right on through the doors without hearing a word he said. He glanced over at Mr. Nielsen, who was making a direct path for his office.  __ “Later.” Johnny walked through the auditorium doors and hurried backstage.

 

Ben made it three feet short of his door before a thin arm wrapped itself around his and redirected him towards the now lit auditorium.

 

“Come sit with me.” Nana led him to the stairs that would take them up to her private booth near the stage. It took all Ben had in him not to groan and drag his feet like a child. Nana would not have let him live it down otherwise. “Now pay attention. You might learn something.” 

 

Ben leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms as he watched the people below them take their seats. The lights dimmed down as a spotlight shone down on Mr. Moon at center stage. A fanfare played from speakers to get the audience’s attention and Buster held his arms out wide.

 

“Thank you! Thank you all for coming to this momentous occasion! The cast and I would like to extend a special thanks to the Fellowship of Row Street for providing us with such a spectacular spread for today’s event! It was incredible! Thank you so much!” He clapped, cueing the audience to do so as well.

 

“And to Ms. Nana Noodleman for her overwhelming support!” He gestured up to the private box as a gentle blue light shown over Nana to illuminate her to the audience. The old sheep bowed her head with dignity as the animals below continued their applause. The music and stage lights faded to something different as Buster moved to the far left of the stage. 

 

“Now for the show! Ladies and gentlemen, for the encore they greatly deserve, The New Moon Singers!” Buster ducked out of sight just as peppy pop music flowed from the speakers.

 

Ben remembered the performances from the video clips he had been shown several weeks ago. Gunter and his dance partner, Rosita put on a fun show and he was certain the song was going to get stuck in his head later. They changed a few things up in regards to routine, costume and set design but the audience loved them all the same. The young rock star, Buster introduced her as Ash, played a new song of her own creation and he was very glad to be spared her quills as they flew from her head. The members of the Fellowship of Row Street cheered loudly for the timid elephant even before a word came from her mouth and practically exploded in praise afterwards. 

 

“Spectacular, wouldn’t you say, Benjamin?” Nana clapped with a soft smile spread across her face as the curtains closed.

 

“They’re very talented.” 

 

“And last, but certainly not least: Johnny!” Buster jogged off stage as the curtain opened up again and a simple, soft light illuminated the center stage over a new, polished piano and it’s musician. Ben lifted his head in attention as the gentle ballad echoed through the auditorium with a beautiful tenor. 

 

_ When the visions around you _

_ Bring tears to your eyes _

_ And all that surrounds you _

_ Are secrets and lies _

_ I'll be your strength _

_ I'll give you hope _

_ Keeping your faith when it's gone _

_ The one you should call _

_ Was standing there all along _

 

_ And I will take you in my arms _

_ And hold you right where you belong _

_ Til' the day my life is through _

_ This I promise you _

_ This I promise you _

 

Ben remembered the song from many years ago, an old pop song that was beautiful as a simple piano cover. He could feel the air change as the audience became captivated by that voice, in all it’s passion and sincerity. They swooned. A fluttering in his chest was indication enough that he was among the enchanted. 

 

_ I've loved you forever _

_ In lifetimes before _

_ And I promise you never _

_ Will you hurt anymore _

_ I give you my word _

_ I give you my heart _

_ This is a battle we've won _

_ And with this vow _

_ Forever has now begun _

 

_ Just close your eyes each loving day  _

_ And know this feeling won't go away  _

_ Til' the day my life is through _

_ This I promise you _

_ This I promise you _

 

_ Over and over I thought _

_ When I hear you call _

_ Without you in my life, baby _

_ I just wouldn't be living at all _

 

A quiet chuckle from beside him brought him out from under the spell long enough to notice that he had absentmindedly leaned forward far enough in his seat to rest against the edge of the box. He glanced over at Nana, who looked entirely too smug and his face grew hot. He looked back at the stage as the lights shifted colors with the key change.

 

_ And I will take you in my arms  _

_ And hold you right where you belong  _

_ Til' the day my life is through _

_ This I promise you, babe _

 

_ Just close your eyes each loving day  _

_ And know this feeling won't go away _

_ Every word I say is true _

_ This I promise you _

 

_ Every word I say is true _

_ This I promise you _

_ I promise you _

 

The audience roared with applause and stood up to continue their cheering as the cast came back out on stage for their bows. Nana stood with them and gestured for Ben to do the same. He heard Busters voice on the microphone but couldn’t make out what was being said. His attention was still caught by the last performer and the beaming smile on his lovely face.

 

_ Uh oh… _

 

\---

 

The last of the audience had finally filed out of the theatre and Ben was allowed to return to his office. He looked around at the state of the lobby. The trash cans were overflowing, plastic silverware, paper napkins, and several patches of crumbs were scattered about the carpet. He grumbled.

 

_ I knew I should have figured out clean up BEFORE this event happened. They could have had all of this done by now.  _

 

Ben twisted the doorknob of his office. It didn’t turn. He jiggled the knob.

 

_ No… _

 

He checked his pockets for the key and groaned loudly when he found nothing and let his head fall against the door. 

 

“Mr. Nielsen? Is everything alright?” Johnny was crossing the lobby towards him with a look of concern. Ben’s head shot straight up and he looked over his shoulder.

 

_ FUCK. _

 

“It...seems I’ve locked myself out.” Ben kept his outward composure and shrugged with a smile. 

 

“Oh. Is there a spare key?”

 

“If there is I don’t think anyone knows where it’s at...” 

 

“Huh. I can open it, if you like.” Johnny smiled at him and let himself into Mr. Moon and Ms. Crawley’s office. “I’m sure they won’t mind me takin’ this.” He came back around bending the end of a paperclip with a small pocket knife. Ben stepped aside a bit and watched curiously as Johnny knelt by the lock. 

 

Johnny raked the paperclip slowly against the pins of the lock as the small blade held tension. He closed his eyes to concentrate and focus on the sound of the inner mechanisms. “It’s a simple lock...should be...pretty...easy.” The pins fit into place, and with the tension held firmly by the knife, the lock disengaged and he slowly pushed the door open. “Ta-da!” He smiled up at Ben, who stood dumbfounded.

 

“That-wow. Well okay then. A singer and a locksmith. Aren’t you multitalented.” Ben couldn’t help but smile. “Thank you.”

 

“Yea, sure. Not a problem. It’s easy if you know how to do it...which is...anything. Sorry, that sounded dumb.” Johnny rubbed the back of his neck with an uneasy smile.

 

“I know what you meant.”

 

They stood in silence for a few moments until Ben broke eye contact and cleared his throat.

 

“Anyway, thanks again. You sing very well, by the way. Very impressive.” He took a step into his office before Johnny spoke again.

 

“Thanks! Oh, um, I was wondering if I could talk to you. Earlier today I thought I heard you and Mr. Moon talking about hiring people to work here. I wanted to ask what sort of jobs need to be filled? I’m going to be performing and all that but I could really use some more steady work for the time being, you know?” Johnny looked up at him, hopeful but nervous. He’d never had an actual job before but he really needed the money. He couldn’t rely on event food to fill his belly.

 

“You want a job?”

 

“Yes. Definitely. Whatever needs to be done, I’ll do it.” 

 

“Well…” Ben looked around the messy lobby. “I could use some help cleaning this place up. If you really want a job, I know we’ll need a custodian. It’s not glamorous but it’s necessary. You seem to know your way around the place already.” He shrugged and glanced down at the hand that had been extended to him.

 

“I’ll take it.” Johnny smiled brightly as he shook Ben’s hand. “Thank you so much. It really means a lot to me. I can get started now if that works for you.” 

 

“I’ll start you a time card.” Ben’s smile never left his face as he watched, amused as Johnny set his jacket down against the wall and got right to work. It was unorthodox, but Ben couldn’t say no to those big brown eyes. He smiled when Johnny began to hum as he picked up the discarded plates and stuffed them into the trash. 

 

_ Buster probably won’t be happy that I made one of his favorite singers into a janitor. Oh well.  _

 

Ben picked up Johnny’s jacket and hung it up on the coat rack in his office before sitting back down at his desk. He left his door open to listen to the tune that was being sung in the lobby. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my Tumblr for progress notes, sketches and things!  
> http://megaraye.tumblr.com/  
> Tag: The Best Version
> 
> This I Promise You, Piano Cover  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNcK3-zKAJ4


	3. Rising Action

Johnny yawned as he waited patiently at booth 5 for his dad to arrive. The trip to the prison was cold and heavy clouds blocked out the morning sun, but it did nothing to dampen his spirits. He took a moment to check his reflection in the separation glass and smiled, pleased at what he saw. Clean and tidy. His dad wouldn’t have anything to say about this appearance this time. It was a much needed change from last week. 

Ben had written him a check at the end of the day after the re-opening party. Johnny had cleaned the lobby and helped people carry dishes and trays out to cars before going right to work making sure the backstage area was left unmarred by the tours that were given after the performances. 

It wasn’t a large check, just a few hours worth of work, but it was enough to quickly cash at the bank and visit the nearest dollar store to pick up a few essentials like travel-sized soaps and as much nonperishable food that would fit in his locker. 

Over the last few days he had been working with Ben to put together a checklist of his duties and  shown how to fill out his time card. They agreed on a weekly paycheck to be written on Friday mornings.

Johnny peered over the divider when he saw his dad let into the visiting room. There was a small pang in his stomach as he began to grow nervous. Johnny was proud to have a job at all, but doubted being a janitor was something his dad wanted him to do. He put on a smile as his dad sat down and picked up the orange phone.

“Mornin’ dad!” 

“Hey, son. You’re lookin’ a lot better.” Big Daddy’s eyes scanned his son up and down. He was much cleaner and looked rested. He had spent the last several days fretting in his cell, knowing his son was only sheltered by a small truck, as he watched the temperature drop and the forecast call for rain. His phone privileges were still being withheld, prohibiting him from calling to check in. “You find a proper place to stay?”

“More or less. The theatre’s open so I’ve been staying there. I know it’s not ideal but it’s better than the truck, that’s for sure. There’s a shower and a laundry room, so that’s covered. And, even better news, I got a job there too! So I have keys now, don’t have to sneak in anymore and I get paid to be there.” Johnny leaned his elbows on the counter and smiled proudly up at his dad. “I told you I could take care of it.” 

“Huh. Well done, Johnny. Sounds like you’ve got all you need. You gettin’ paid to be a singer already?” His dad cracked a smirk, impressed. Johnny’s own expression dropped and he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Um, no, not yet. I will soon though, once we put some real shows together. I just clean up and help out for right now. I don’t mind it. It’s an easy paycheck.”

“So, what, you’re the janitor?” 

“Well…” Johnny tried to think of something else he could say to make it sound better than it was but found himself lost for words and shrugged with an uneasy smile. “I’ve got to eat somehow, Dad.”

“I thought you looked skinny.” Big Daddy scowled at his son. “Johnny, there’s no shame in it. If you need to eat, you need to eat! Just because you...don’t want to be in the gang, doesn’t mean you can’t use the skills you already have.”

“Dad, we don’t have to talk about this. I have a job now, so all that doesn’t matter anymore. I’m  _ fine _ . I promise.” Johnny frowned. He knew his dad wouldn’t be happy. 

Johnny walked out of the prison as the sky opened up and a cold rain began to fall. He turned the collar of his jacket up and dropped his skateboard on the ground, regretting his choice to conserve gasoline. With the rain coming down, the sidewalks were clear of people walking and he was able to make it to the theatre much quicker. He unlocked the front doors with his new work keys and shivered as he walked into the dark auditorium. The front of his jeans were soaked and stiff to walk in. A quick run in the dryer would make them good as new. 

“Next paycheck I’m getting another set of clothes.” He muttered quietly to himself as he made his way backstage to make himself presentable before anyone else showed up. “I’ll get sick if this becomes a trend…”

\---

“Mr. Moon, I didn’t call you in here for idle chit chat . T he theatre has been open for a week now, it’s time to start putting more focus on generating a profit. You have the scripts and ideas you’re working on, but you still need to be making money while you do that.” Ben sat as Buster read through a script in a chair on the other side of his desk. Lunch had already come and gone before Ben could pry even a few focused minutes from Buster. 

“Don’t you worry, Ben. These new scripts are going to put tails in seats for weeks! Nana wants to come by to help with the selection, so you know they’ll be goo-Hey!” Buster stood on the chair, stretching his arms out to try and grab the papers back from Ben, who held  them  away from him effortlessly.

“You’re not listening. You can’t just rely on these shows for your revenue. They take weeks to produce and you still have full expenses to factor in while they’re in production! To keep your head above the water, you need to make better use of this building.” Ben set the stack of papers on his desk and pulled them away from Buster when he tried to reach for them.

“And what do you suggest, Mr. Nielsen? Believe it or not, I do know how to run a theatre. This worked perfectly in the past.” Buster crossed his arms and rolled his eyes at the unimpressed brow raise he was receiving from the accountant. “I had some bad luck, but this is the way it was done back in the day and it worked great!”

“This isn’t ‘back in the day’ anymore, Mr. Moon. I suggest offering the New Moon Theatre as a venue for other companies and performers. It has a great location, it’s no longer in disrepair,  and  it seats a sizable crowd. It’s everything anyone would need for a few nights of performing, and we contract for a reasonable percentage of ticket sales. The percentage should, at the very least, cover our overhead, but preferably more.”

Ben had spent a considerable part of the last week learning how theatres made money. He read countless articles online, found specialized business books on the subject and called around to several of the other theatre venues in the city to speak to their general managers about their business models,  hoarding  their advice like gold. To his surprise, he found that many of them used to follow the same practice as Buster did during his first run. They would find banks as backers to cover their production expenses, pick a series of shows to work on,  and  spend the time and energy to practice and build sets while relying on the ticket sales afterwards to repay the backers. 

The idea of it made Ben uneasy. He understood it as a form of business and investment but he couldn’t wrap his mind around how to anticipate a turn out for art. There wasn’t enough solid ground for him to stand on. He wasn’t alone in his caution and came to understand that many of the other theatres stopped producing their own shows and relied on their venue fees to pay their overhead. Ben spent the time in his morning routine crafting just how he would present his suggestion to Buster and the look of surprise on the koala’s face was reward enough for his preparation. 

“Wow. Hmm.” Buster stroked his chin and glanced up as he mulled the idea over in his head. “Be a venue, huh? I don’t like it, but I see what you’re saying. I guess that could work. It would probably put Nana’s mind at ease, at least. But we can still do our own shows right? I didn’t get into show business just to be a desk jockey, no offense. I’m here to create things.” He crossed his arms again and stared at Ben with an eye of defiance. 

“Yes, you can do your own shows. Being a rentable venue will change the air of association. Even if they perform as poorly as they did before, the theatre should still survive as a business.” Ben passed the script back to Buster as the koala’s ears drooped slightly next to his irked expression.

“Anybody ever tell you how warm and friendly you are, Mr. Nielsen?” 

“No.”  

“I didn’t think so.” Buster tucked the script under his arm and put on a smile. “Listen, while we’re talking about revenue and expenses, I was hoping to purchase a few more pieces of furniture for the theatre. Specifically, a couch for the dressing room. It essentially serves as a break room for the performers and there’s really nothing comfortable in there for people to rest and take breaks and all that. What do you think?” He brightened his smile with a twinkle of hope in his eyes. It was the perfect way he could make Johnny more comfortable while he was staying in the theatre. Nobody would question a couch in a dressing room! 

“No. I think not.” Ben shook his head and Buster’s whole body drooped in disappointment. “Mr. Moon, without any revenue flowing into the building, we can only make essential expenses right now. It’ll have to wait. There are plenty of chairs people can use to...sit.” Ben put his reading glasses on and grabbed his notebook. “I’m going to work on a final draft for the expense budget. I’ll show it to you by the end of the day so you can look it over and see if I missed anything.”

“Yeah, alright. I’ll take a look.” Buster hopped down from the chair and headed for his own office with a pout. He paced around the open area in front of his desk and mumbled to himself as he thought outloud. “There’s got to be another way...He can’t keep sleeping on the floor. I’ll figure something out…” 

The sound of voices in the lobby caught Buster’s attention and he poked his head out the door. His favorite group of people had finally arrived. He came out to greet their smiling faces just as Johnny walked out of the auditorium.

“Dude, do you live here now or something?” Ash cracked a smirk up at Johnny as she shifted her guitar to her other hand. “You’re always here first.” 

“I like it here and I’m not doing much of anything else. Besides, I work here now too. If I just hang out, I’m never late.” Johnny smiled, pleased with his fib. 

“True enough!” Buster brought everyone’s attention to himself. “Come on back to the stage, everyone, I have some great news!” He flipped on the stage lights before meeting everyone at center stage. “Now, I know just how invested you guys have all been to this theatre and to me, and I wanted to show you just how much I appreciate you. So, I have decided to make the five of you an official show troupe! The audience loves your performances and you all work great as a group. I’m thinking we could do shows starting monthly to give a nice adjusting period before doing more regular shows. Maybe even weekly! What do you think?” Buster grinned as he saw stars light up in their eyes and their excited agreements echoed off the auditorium walls. He chuckled at their enthusiasm. “Alright! From this day forward, you are officially the New Moon Singers! We need to work on all new material starting right now!”

\---

The troupe separated into the various practice rooms and morning stretched to early afternoon. Buster stopped by each room to see what his singers had put together. Meena needed help putting a song list together to practice. Gunter and Rosita spent most of their time just choosing their next song. Ash ran him through a few of the songs on her album and they bounced ideas off each other to help her incorporate different tones and themes for new songs as they walked out onto the main stage to break for lunch. 

“No singer of mine is going to be a one hit wonder! Stretch that comfort zone and make it bigger! I’d love to hear your take on a ballad.” Buster grinned even as Ash raised an unconvinced brow.

“A ballad? I don’t think I’m really the ballad-y type, Moon. And that’s more Johnny’s thing anyway, isn’t it? Won’t that be, I dunno, thunder stealing?” She leaned on one hip and crossed her arms. Buster opened his mouth to respond when a voice called him from the auditorium doors.

“Mr. Moon.” Ben stood at the edge of the room with a file folder of papers in his hand. “I need you to look these over and sign them, please.”

“Right now?” Buster groaned quietly and rolled his eyes when he received only an impassive stare from the gorilla. “I’ll be right back, Ash. Hold that thought!” He descended the stage steps and walked down the center aisle towards Ben. They disappeared from sight as they rounded the corner to go back to the offices. Ash scowled, a bit confused, as she walked over to where the others were sitting and eating their lunches.

“You seriously used to go to parties with Mr. No Fun?” She thumb pointed back towards the doors as she spoke to Gunter. He stopped short of bringing chopsticks full of noodles up to his mouth. 

“Mr. No Fun? Oh! You mean, Ben? Ja, we went to the same parties a lot.” Gunter chuckled at memories full of flashing lights, techno dance music, and alcohol. “He was not this No Fun back then.” He filled his mouth with noodles, chewed quickly and swallowed as he took his phone from his pocket. “I’m sure I have photos in here somewhere…”

Ash, Rosita and Meena watched as Gunter started scrolling through an alarming number of pictures. Most of them selfies or him showcasing different costumes in front of a multiple mirror set up.

“Wow, your phone has some impressive memory.” Rosita noted as she took a bite from her sandwich.

“I have an SD card. Hmm...let’s see.” Gunter glanced up as he strained to remember the last party they were both present for. “Oh! The website will have pictures!” He quickly found the well organized photo gallery of a studio site. “Ben always went to this place for their summer time parties. Any excuse to take his clothes off.” He giggled and scrolled through year by year. “I know they have-ah! Here he is!”

The three ladies peered around his shoulders and over his head to get a view and their eyes widened simultaneously.

“No way! That’s Ben?” Ash grabbed the phone to turn it towards her for a better look. 

“You, uh, you weren’t kidding about the clothes thing. He is wearing  _ something _ right?” Meena felt herself blushing and her ears moving inward to cover her face.

“Maybe? Shorts if anything.” Gunter scrolled through and selected more of the pictures that showcased Ben. “Oh this is a good series of photos here.” He threw his head back laughing as he scrolled through them. 

“He is doing that kegstand one handed.” Rosita leaned in closer for a better look as her dance partner went from picture to picture. “Now he’s holding someone up in that hand?” She squinted. “Is he holding a chair with his feet-There are now two deer sitting in that chair!” 

“Wow, Mr. Nielsen is really strong.” 

“Ja. Ben is  _ fit _ .” Gunter continued scrolling, giving each picture a few moments to be viewed before going to the next one.

“Oh my god! He’s got his nipples pierced?” Ash snickered as she put her hands up to her mouth.

“Who’s got their nipples pierced?” Johnny emerged from his practice room and crossed the stage to join the rest of his new troupe. He founded them all huddled together staring at Gunter’s phone, each with a different expression ranging from amused to traumatized. Ash grabbed the phone from Gunter’s hand and held it up to Johnny.

“Ben does! Or did. Gunter found pictures of old party Ben.” 

Johnny took the phone and went through the different pictures. His brows raised, sincerely impressed by the physique and feats of strength he was seeing. His dad was strong, but this was a different type of strength. Ben was conditioned and sculpted and he clearly knew it. He ignored the small tightening in his stomach and the heat of his face as he found other features of the photos grabbing his attention, pierced nipples aside. Flashes of white teeth, wide and bright eyes with no shortage of confidence or energy. 

_ He looks so happy. _

“Wow. I would’ve thought that was someone else. How long ago were these taken?” Johnny held the phone back to Gunter and didn’t catch the sly smile on the pig’s face. Gunter looked at his phone.

“The website says it was from three years ago, this party.” 

Johnny frowned and glanced down as he considered the answer. He expected those pictures to be older than that. He figured them to be five years old at the very least and perhaps from some old college parties. Ben looked so much younger and livelier just a short time ago. Johnny had a hard time wrapping his mind around how much seemed to have changed.

“What happened?” Johnny looked at Gunter again who tilted his head, confused. “He’s...so different. I know people aren’t always the same at work as they are at home or out with friends, but this is a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?” 

“He says he got partied out. He just...stopped coming. I might have heard a rumor that he got sick? I don’t know.” Gunter frowned and rubbed his neck. His smile returned quickly and he shrugged. “Maybe someday you can ask him, ja? I’m sure he’d talk to you.” The pig wiggled his eyebrows and continued to eat his lunch without another word, leaving Johnny with confusion spread across his face.

\---

The troupe made its noisy way out of the theatre to go home. The afternoon sun did it’s best to force its way through Ben’s office blinds as he made a list of tasks he needed to accomplish the following day. There were a great deal of phone calls that needed to be made and social media to start  on . He hummed to himself as he pondered who would take responsibility for maintaining the theatre’s online presence. Certainly not himself. He had far too much on his plate already and he had no patience for the public, in person or online. 

Ben shook his head. It wasn’t something he needed to stress about. He had left the task of appointing a representative to Buster and did his best to gently suggest against the koala selecting himself. The association would only lead to bad jokes about collapsing buildings. Ben had no doubt they would appear anyway but with Buster behind the keyboard he feared they’d be tenfold. They did not need any more negative publicity. 

Ben glanced up, hearing the sound of the vacuum cleaner running, and was reminded of a few items left on his to-do list. He stood up and opened his office door. He couldn’t help but crack a small smile as he watched Johnny work. He found the singer’s work ethic impressive. Johnny came in early every day to practice his music with the rest of his troupe, as Buster called them, and then once they all left he got right to work with his custodial task list. It wasn’t a long list yet, and it would only grow to be more difficult once they were fully operational, but it was a nice change of pace to see someone else take their job seriously. 

“Johnny!” Ben found his voice after a few moments of staring and called over the vacuum but to no avail. He leaned to the side and waved a hand to try and catch  Johnny’s  attention before noticing the headphones in his ears. Ben crossed the lobby and tapped Johnny’s shoulder, putting forth significant effort to not be awkward. 

_ You have work things to talk about. Don’t say something stupid. Don’t make it weird. _

Johnny turned his head to see who needed his attention, and he quickly turned off the vacuum and pulled his headphones out. He thought about the photos from earlier as he noticed things about Ben’s face up close. His eyes were darker, tired and stressed. There was only a fraction of a smile if he smiled at all. He really did look like a completely different person and something about it made Johnny’s heart ache. He smiled despite it.

“Hey, Mr. Nielsen. What can I do for you?” He leaned his hands on the top of the vacuum’s handle.  

“I was going through my list and we haven’t ordered you uniforms yet. How many do you think you’ll need?”

“Uniforms?” Johnny blinked, confused. 

“Yes. I doubt you’ll want to work in your street clothes all the time. This place is going to be a mess after shows.” Ben spared Johnny’s clothes a glance. 

_ It’s the same shirt and torn jeans every day. They’re cleaner than the day we met but they’re definitely worn and faded with age, and not as a fashion choice. Even his jacket is discolored at the edges. _

“Right. That’s probably a good idea. Maybe three? Have a spare for the spare and not do laundry every day. That should help keep them from wearing out too fast, right? And um, any color but blue. Blue does not look good on me.” Johnny let out a small chuckle. 

“I doubt that, but, if you say so. I’ll find something other than blue.” Ben gave him a smile, soft and sincere. The orange light of the late afternoon poured through the glass doors and outlined Johnny in a striking warmth, shining through his fur and making his eyes gleam like amber.

“Are you alright, Mr. Nielsen?” Johnny kept a curious and confused smile as Ben realized he was staring.

“Yes. Just thinking. Sorry. Thank you. I’ll, uh, talk to you later.” Ben turned quickly and went back to his office before Johnny had a chance to respond. He shut the door, took his seat, and dropped his head down on his desk.

_ You fucking idiot! How old are you?! It’s okay to look but don’t STARE! Don’t stare while they’re watching you stare! Get your shit together! For fuck’s sake!  _

_ \--- _

Buster sat at his desk after dark and read through another script as he brushed his teeth. He had a stack of three other pieces he  had selected throughout the day in preparation for Nana’s arrival tomorrow. She had explicitly stated that she wanted to be involved in show selection and Buster felt it would be befitting to have a few he deemed acceptable ready for her approval or disapproval. The lack of trust stung something awful, but he understood her caution, and over time he would change her mind and  she would  find him more competent. 

Buster’s phone chimed and lit up from his resting place at the edge of his desk and his ears perked up with his smile as he looked over and saw the caller.

“Hello! This is Buster Moon. Yes, I saw your ad online. Is it still available? Oh, fantastic! Yes, if you could deliver it first thing in the morning, and I mean before 8, that would be perfect. Can you do that? Oh, great! Thank you so much! I’ll get online and send you the money now. Thanks again!”

Buster grinned and followed a series of saved links on his phone. The couch wasn’t going to win any style contests but it would be better for Johnny than sleeping on the floor. He signed into the theatre’s accounts and made the purchase.

“They can get it in the dressing room and be gone before Ben gets in, and with a price that low, he won’t even notice.” The koala chuckled to himself and set his alarm an hour earlier so he could direct the delivery, before he went back to reading.

\---

Ben stood in his walk-in closet and stared at his forest of clothing. He’d already chosen a suit for himself for the day and let it rest on his bed. He noted the fine tailoring and quality fabric and could only see those old torn jeans that Johnny wore every day. Ben knew people who wore jeans many days in a row but every day brought about a wave of concern. 

_ I don’t want to give him clothes out of pity. “Hey, I noticed you don’t have any clothes so here’s some of mine!” No. That’s stupid. He’ll think you’re being a snob or you’ll embarrass him. So...how do I do this? Oh! I could be donating. People do that all the time. Donating after work and offering him first pick. There. That works. Now...what in here will fit? He’s smaller, legs shorter but that’s not a big deal. Clothes can be taken in. _

Ben went through his various suits and decided against them, shaking his head. He wouldn’t miss a few of them, but he determined they were not Johnny’s style. Deeper towards the back of his closet he found more casual clothes. Simpler shirts and pants that he remembered being comfortable and  which  suited most occasions, short of a semi-formal party. Ben scoffed, amused at some of his old graphic shirts, and  he  cracked a smile as his stomach fluttered picturing Johnny wearing them. Ben went downstairs to his kitchen and grabbed a paper grocery bag. He looked upwards as the warning alarm rang from his phone still resting on his nightstand.

“Shit!” He hurried back up. There were only a few minutes left before Frankie would be driving up to the curb, and the loud mouthed raccoon did not like to wait.

Ben haphazardly scooped several shirts he’d chosen, both short and long sleeved, and a few pairs of jeans from a shelf into the bag with a wide sweep of his arm. He snatched some pieces of outerwear from their hangers as he passed them and did his best to keep them contained in the bag without it tearing. He dressed in a hurry, took his medication, and grabbed his satchel from the counter on his way out. He could go out to lunch today. 

“It’s about time, Sleepin’ Beauty! You know, I was just about to leave without you.” Frankie exhaled a puff of smoke out the window as Ben climbed in the backseat. 

“What? Did you wait a whole 30 seconds?” Ben adjusted the paper bag on the seat next to him as the cab drove away from the curb.

“More like a whole minute!” Frankie reached over into a half rusted lunch pail and retrieved a quarter of a very colorful donut. “Here. Eat this and tell me what you think.” He reached to the back seat. “C’mon, pal, it hurts to stretch like this.”

“Frankie, what the hell is this?”

“That, my friend, is a Captain Crunch donut. Yea, you heard me. My youngest made it. I got a whole bunch of samples in here that I’m supposed to hand out and get feedback for her.”  

“I’m not eating this.”

“Ben, she’s six. She wants to be a chef like her mom and be creative in the kitchen! I told her I would get feedback from my fares for her and she’s gonna ask me, with those big blue eyes staring into my soul, ‘Daddy, what did Mr. Ben think?’ I know she will. She knows I pick you up every day. Don’t make me tell my kid, my baby girl, that you refused to even try it, Ben. Don’t be that guy.”

“Fuck, Frankie. Fine.” Ben looked at the bit of pastry and grimaced at its childish topping. He rolled his eyes and ate the sample. The backseat was silent for several moments as Ben scowled.

“Well? What do you think? C’mon, don’t leave me in suspense up here. I can tone it down for her if you really hate it that much.”

“It’s really good…” Ben scowled as he muttered. The texture was soft and light but topped with a satisfying crunch. Sweet, as one expected, but not nauseatingly so as Ben had anticipated given the ingredients. “Tell her I thought it was very good. Better than I expected it to be.”

“Hey, alright! I’ll pass the message along!”

“Can I have another one?”

“No. These are for everyone. If you want another one you can go buy one. You know where the truck’s at.”

\---

Buster paced at the front steps of the theatre with Ms. Crawley waiting patient and still. Her good eye watched him move from one end of the steps to the other. The early morning had already come and gone and the couch had not arrived as he expected it to. He checked his watch and groaned. 

“They should have been here  _ hours _ ago! They would have called if they got lost, right??”

“It’s probably just the morning traffic, Mr. Moon. I’m sure they’re on their way.” Ms. Crawley smiled in attempts to reassure her boss.

“I need them to be here before Ben gets in! I knew I should have done this over the weekend.” Buster continued to pace and glance up and down the street, looking for any sign of a couch or Ben.

“Oh, did Mr. Nielsen not know about the sofa?”

“Well, not exactly. It wasn’t expensive. Don’t worry, as long as we can get it inside and in place, our dear Mr. Nielsen won’t even notice.” Buster smiled at her and his smile grew into a grin as an old truck pulled up to the curb with a couch tied in its bed. “Finally! I’m so glad to see you! I thought you wouldn’t make it in time.” 

“Sorry. It took us a while to get the mapquest working to figure out where you was.” The driver got out and tipped his hat to Buster and Ms. Crawley. The two hippos went around to the back of the truck and started untying the ropes that secured the couch.

“Mapquest? That’s still a thing?” Buster shrugged with a smile. “Oh well. Listen fellas, I could really use your help moving this thing inside.” He watched as they lifted the couch out of the truck and onto the sidewalk at his feet.

A cloud of dust wafted upwards at the impact of them dropping it. The couch was missing two of its feet and the fabric looked worn and course. The significant bowing in its center was evidence of its use and the once floral pattern aged it to be several decades older than Buster thought it was. 

“Oh my, that’s a dusty one.” Ms. Crawley coughed.

“That’s an easy fix! We can get it all vacuumed and cleaned up in no ti-Hey! Where are you going??” Buster left the old lizard’s side to chase after the hippos getting back into the truck. “No no no! I need your help getting this inside!”

“Sorry, buddy! We got some place to be. Have a good day!” The hippo waved with a smile as their truck sputtered with a dark puff of exhaust and drove down the street, leaving Buster exasperated and starting to panic.

He put his hands on his head and his eyes began to dart around looking for any way of moving the couch into the theatre and out of sight. He grabbed the arm of the couch to pull it, but it was far too heavy for just him.

“Got to think! Got to think! Need wheels and a rope!” Buster ran back inside the theatre. “Ms. Crawley, bring me the mop!”

“Right away, Mr. Moon.” The old lizard shuffled away to do as she was told without asking any further questions. 

After returning with the mop she watched as her boss rigged together a makeshift dolly with the mop handle, a shovel, old paint cans, duct tape, and  a  desk fan. Together they were able to push the couch to the steps and up to the door where it promptly got stuck.

“No! Come on! What’s it stuck on?” Buster climbed over the couch to get outside and inspect what was wrong.

“I think the mop head is caught on the door, sir.” His assistant directed him to the snag with a shaky finger.

Buster quickly adjusted the mop head and pushed the couch into the lobby as his jury-rigged contraption fell apart. He groaned and jogged around to try and piece it back together. If he could just get it into the auditorium he could hide it until a more opportune time to move it!

“Oh! Good morning, Mr. Nielsen!” Ms. Crawley’s chipper voice did nothing to settle the spike of adrenaline that coursed through Buster as he came to the sudden realization that he’d been caught. He clenched his eyes shut and then turned quickly with a practiced grin as Ben’s shadow loomed over him.

“Ben! I know what it looks like, and I can explain!” Buster clasped his hands together as he looked up at a very angry gorilla. Ben’s brow was low and dark. The corners of his mouth were held in a deep frown as his nostrils flared and his hands curled into tight fists around the straps of his bags.

“Better get started, Moon.” 

“I know you said essential expenses only, but this was barely an expense at all! I found it  _ very _ cheap online. It needs a little work but I think it will suit our needs just fine.” Buster put his hands on his hips and grinned up at Ben who only looked more outraged. 

“And what, may I ask, is this?” Nana’s voice from the doorway behind caused Ben to turn around quickly. The old sheep stared at the couch with a look of pure disgust as she held her fan up near her face as if to shield herself from the offensive sight. “I certainly hope my funding did not play a part in this...thing’s appearance in this building.” Her eyes drifted from the couch and focused on Ben. The knot in his stomach tightened and rose up in his throat, threatening to choke him.

“No, Nana! Of course not!” Buster patted the side of the furniture and winced as dust fell to the floor. “This was just something that I picked up personally.” 

“To take to the garbage, I presume.” Nana strode  past  the group, giving the furniture a wide berth as she made her way to Mr. Moon’s office. “See to it that it doesn’t stain the carpets.” 

“Right. I’ll be with you shortly, Nana! Make yourself at home!” Buster let out a breath of relief and looked up at Ben, whose eyes were clenched shut. “Are you oka-”

“I told you no. But you did it anyway.” He kept his eyes closed.

“I know, and I’m sorry, but it really wasn’t expensive at all and it’s for a good cau-” Buster started but a large hand held up in his face stopped him.

“It’s not about the money, Moon.” Ben spoke through his clenched teeth to prevent himself from yelling. “My job is to maintain the accounts and make this business successful. As of right now, I’m removing your account access. Anything to be purchased for this building must go through me for approval. You will not do this again.” Ben turned sharply and stormed into his office, slamming the door behind him. Ben dropped his burdens as he leaned against the door and brought his hands up to his face.

_ No no no. That fucking koala! Why? Why?? What part of “No, we don’t have money for shit like that” doesn’t he understand?! This is why the theatre failed as a business last time! He needs to be fired! Can I fire him? Can Nana fire him? Oh fuck me, Nana saw everything! She thinks I did it! She thinks I said it was okay and approved it! I can’t even tell her it was all Moon’s fault because that makes me sound like a damn child! She’d say she expects better of me! I can hear her voice saying that! She’s not going to trust me again! She’s going to get rid of me and I’ll have to go back to work for Pop! I can’t! I can’t do that! Because of Moon and that fucking ugly couch! Goddamnit!  _

Ben opened his eyes and, to his surprise, found himself sitting on the floor, his hands trembling and his breath coming in short, desperate inhales. 

“Shit…” He fumbled for his satchel and found a pill bottle in its depths along with a pack of cigarettes. He held them in each hand and looked between them to try and decide his best option. “Fuck it...What? Am I going to get too calm ? ” Ben scoffed, swallowed one of the pills, and found his lighter in his pocket. He took a cigarette in his mouth, pushed himself off the floor, and left his bags where they  had  dropped to go outside for some relief.

\---

The first several hours of Ben’s day passed in a fog as he pushed himself through the more tedious tasks on his to-do list. He heard the muffled voices of Buster, Nana and the New Moon Singers through the walls throughout the day but felt only the need to stay in his small office, safe and unnoticed. He worked through lunch and waited for the clock to tell him it was time to go home. 

“Mr. Nielsen?” A gentle accented voice following a knock at his door pulled Ben from wherever his mind had drifted back to the present. 

Johnny’s voice reminded Ben of the bag of clothes he’d set down by his coat rack. He stood up and walked around his desk to answer the door. The young singer smiled at him, and Ben felt the world grow warmer. 

“Hey, sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could give me a hand with something.” Johnny pointed back with his thumb.

“Of course, what do you need?” The words fell from his mouth before the context clues pieced together. The couch was still in the lobby. 

“Mr. Moon wants this moved backstage. It’s not heavy, but it’s awkward to lift on my own.” Johnny walked over to one end and waited for him expectantly. Ben sighed, vexed by the couch’s very existence, but that did not stop him from going to the other end of the couch and lifting it from the bottom on Johnny’s count.

“Ugh, the dust on this couch is going to give me allergies I didn’t have this morning.” Ben coughed and groused as they walked through the auditorium doors and down the center aisle.

“Wow, yeah.” Johnny moved his head away from the dust cloud and let out a chuckle. “I’m going to take the vacuum to it later and see about fixing it up.” He had been ecstatic when Mr. Moon assigned him the task earlier that day. A couch for the dressing room was going to make a definite improvement to his sleep quality. “A good vacuuming and a lot of air freshener will be the start of it. This thing has been sitting in a garage for a long time.”

They carefully climbed the steps to the stage and  placed  the couch  in  the work room. Johnny let out a breath as Ben started brushing the dust from his suit.  Ben  noticed the tear in Johnny’s jeans had grown wider and the other knee would go soon based on how pale and worn it was.

_ The clothes. Bring up the clothes. Come on, don’t wuss out.  _

“I hope it’s worth the trouble, but I’m glad to help. I wanted to talk to you actually. It’s nothing important, but I’ve got a bag of clothes to donate after work. You’re welcome to go through them, if you like.” Ben’s stomach fluttered seeing Johnny’s face light up with interest.

“Yeah, that’d be great! Thanks!” A couch to sleep on and new clothes? What a day! Johnny followed Ben back to his office. He took notice of Ben’s shape. Any clothes he was giving away would be a bit large for him but at least they would be something to change into to give his old clothes a break. 

“I hope you find something useful.” Ben picked up the bag and set it on his desk. He gave Johnny space to let him go through the clothes he picked out specifically for him. He tried not to stare as Johnny took shirts out and looked them over.

“Wow, these are nice. You’re just giving these away?” Johnny noticed the brand name clothes, clean and barely worn. He set them aside to take.

“I don’t wear them anymore and I didn’t want to just throw them away.” He watched Johnny hold up a pair of pants to his hips to size them out. “Hope they’re not too long.”

“Eh, story of my life. I’ll just roll them up.” He smiled and set them on the pile. These were the types of clothes his dad would have prefered him to wear. He took his jacket off to try on a zip up sweater. The extra layer was going to come in handy at night. He left it on as he went back into the bag. “Hey, I’ve seen this!” He pulled out a graphic t-shirt with a grin. 

“What?” Ben blinked, confused.

“Well, Gunter showed us these old photos of you online. You wearing this shirt...ya know, in one of them.” Johnny laughed as he watched Ben’s face go through emotions of confusion, realization, and mortification.

“Oh, fuck...Of course he did.” Ben felt as if his face was steaming as he sat down in his chair and brought his hand up to cover his eyes. “Whe-where online? I can only imagine.”

“I forget the name of the place but it was from three years ago apparently. They had a bunch. Very impressive holding a chair with your feet with people sitting in it, all while doing a kegstand.” Johnny smiled when Ben started to laugh in disbelief.

“That’s very specific and sounds like something I would do. I don’t remember this at all...which is also not surprising. Wow.” Ben rubbed his face in his palms as he shook his head. “Damnit Gunter. That’s worse than people finding ugly baby pictures.”

Johnny laughed again as he looked in the bag to see what other clothes were waiting. He blinked, confused as he reached in to retrieve a pair of gloves. He inspected them curiously. A pair of black, fingerless fighting gloves. They were so well used that the logos had worn off the now flattened knuckle padding, the velcro wrist straps were peeling and the seams between the fingers were starting to tear and fray.

“Are these yours?” Johnny questioned. They told such a different story than the rest of the bag that he wondered if someone else had snuck them in. The look on Ben’s face told otherwise.

He stood up straight and reached out for them immediately. Johnny handed them over without hesitation and watched as Ben held them in his hands, staring at them  as  a bittersweet smile slowly spread across his face. Ben stroked the gloves with his thumb affectionately. 

“Those gloves look like they’ve been through alot. Were you a fighter, Mr. Nielsen?” Johnny spoke softly,  smiling  at him and patiently  waiting  for him to answer.

_ That would explain how...in-shape he looked in those photos. _

“It was an old hobby. I haven’t seen these in a long time.” He smiled as joyful memories started flooding into his mind and threatening to pour from his eyes. 

“Must have been a hobby you really liked from what I saw. It takes a lot of work for abs like you showed off in your pictures.” Johnny smiled when Ben laughed. 

“Yeah, alright. It, uh, was more than a hobby. I started when I was twelve and found something I liked enough to want to be good at it. I spent more time in this old midtown gym than I did at home. It was train, spar, party, sleep and repeat for...many years.” 

“What happened? Why’d you stop?”

Ben’s smile dropped as his memories shifted from laughter to sirens. The smell of padded gym floors became the smell of sterile rooms. He went from feeling open and free to caged. He shrugged at Johnny’s question.

“Priorities change.” He glanced over at Johnny staring at him, puzzling and piecing things together.

“Your parents didn’t like you fighting, did they?” Johnny offered him a look of sympathy. 

“No. No, they did not. At all.”

“I know the feeling. I’m sorry.  B ut ya know, just because your parents don’t like it doesn’t mean you have to give it up completely.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Ben nodded and gave him a smile. Johnny didn’t know that he’d heard that speech before, several times and by different people. It wasn’t really his parents’ opinions that made him quit.  Johnny  was only trying to help him feel better. Ben set the gloves down on his desk. “Anyway, you can’t have these. Did you find anything you like?”

“Oh yea! I like all of it actually, but I don’t think I can take everything.” Johnny cracked a smile. He did not have the space for all of these clothes. His locker wasn’t near big enough, and he didn’t feel right claiming a second locker. 

“Sure you can. If they fit well enough and you like them, take them. No one’s missing them.” 

They stood there in a moment of silence as Johnny mulled it over in his head. There were other places he could store them and he wasn’t going to find anything nicer on his own. His dad would certainly approve of them and seeing them would probably make him feel better about Johnny being out on his own. He didn’t have to know they were given to him.

“If you say so. Thank you. That’s really nice of you, Mr. Nielsen.” Johnny  packed the clothes back into the bag to take them backstage and  opened the door to leave .

“You can call me Ben.” The words were supposed to stay internal and his desire to be more familiar to remain completely unspoken. Johnny looked back at him and smiled even as Ben put every ounce of his effort not to react horrified at his error. 

“Thanks, Ben. For helping with the couch and the clothes. I really appreciate it.” 

“Anytime.”

Johnny left with a quick goodbye, closed the door and walked back into the auditorium with a bounce in his step and a new wardrobe. 

Ben sat and let his head rest on his desk, feeling like his face was on fire and his brain fizzled. His heart felt as if it would fly away as he heard Johnny’s voice in his head on repeat like a skipping record.

_ He said my name… _

\---

Johnny skipped out on his piano practice and spent the rest of the evening cleaning up the old couch and dragging it back to the dressing room like Mr. Moon instructed. He removed the other two legs so that it sat low, but even on the floor. He switched the cushions around and found a piece of plywood to support against further bowing. 

“That’s much better.” He stretched across it when it came time to go to bed. He needed a proper blanket eventually but Ben’s sweater kept him from being too cold. He’d kept the rest of the clothes folded up and in the paper bag. There was plenty of time to try them all on later. 

The light from his phone disturbed the darkness and he reached down to see the notification. A text message from a number he didn’t know.

[Unknown: Wow. Leave it to Gunter to share my most embarrassing pictures. They don’t exactly lend themselves to my  reputation  as a professional.]

[Unknown: This is Ben, btw.]

Johnny laughed and saved the number under ‘Ben’. He felt his cheeks grow warm. It was so good to see Ben be more talkative and animated, to see his face and his eyes light up. It was made very clear that there was more to him than being an accountant and all he needed to open up was a few friendly conversations.

[I still call it impressive. And you work in a theatre now. People sing and dance in unitards here so I dont think anyone will be judging you for clearly enjoying a party.]

[Ben: That’s a good point.]

[Ash might have questions about your nipple piercings though]

[Ben: Oh, fuck me.]

[Did that hurt when you got them done]

[Ben: Yes. Yes it did. It was a sharp needle going through my nipple. Twice. I didn’t want to do the second one but there were people with me who would have called me out on it. Plus, I couldn’t stand the asymmetry.]

They shared a laugh from their separate beds across town and stayed up longer than  either had  anticipated. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my Tumblr for progress notes, sketches and things!  
> http://megaraye.tumblr.com/  
> Tag: The Best Version


	4. Inciting Incident

Ben stared at his reflection in the full length mirror that made its home in the back of his closet. He could not recall the last occasion he'd worn the suit, and questioned why he'd not worn it more often. He looked good. The three piece suit was tailored to fit him perfectly. It was classically cut in a gunmetal blue with a pinstripe so subtle one had to be up close to see it. He completed his look with a comb through his fur and a light application of a fragrance whose bottle needed dusting. Ben gave himself a small smile in approval.

The weeks at the New Moon Theatre had proven to be a difficult trial but he was finally starting to get proper momentum in revenue. Responses  had  flooded the theatre's inbox and voicemail  from  companies and theatre groups interested in the building as a venue only a day after Eddie had posted the offer on various social media sites.

Buster  had  assigned his friend the role of building and maintaining the New Moon Theatre's online presence. Ben had to admit that the lazy sheep had a talent for the job. Eddie started with three main platforms to appeal to a wider range of audiences and took it upon himself to take photos and post updates on the comings and goings of the theatre. Waivers had been distributed and signed by cast members and theatre staff to allow their photos to be posted online.

Ben had a few reservations in the beginning about having his image online, but after recalling the reveal of his infamous kegstand to the New Moon Singers, he sign ed the waiver. Any picture Eddie took wouldn't be worse than those.

Ben checked the time and left his closet to fetch his satchel and  ride  the elevator down to street level to meet Frankie at the curb. The old taxi pulled up as soon as Ben exited the building.

"Good morning, Frankie." Ben slid into the backseat and sipped his coffee as they merged back into traffic. The old raccoon glanced at him with squinted eyes in the rear view mirror.

"What's his name?" Frankie inquired after flicking the ashes of his cigar out the window.

"Whose name?"

"The guy you're trying to impress. What's his name?"

"I'm not trying to impress anyone." Ben scowled at the accusation even as his cheeks began to warm.

"Don't give me that shit, Ben. I know what you're doing. I got teenagers! My daughter has this crush on a boy at school and she's doing all kinds of stuff to get his attention!" Frankie stopped at a red light and looked back at his passenger. "Dressin' nice. Groomin'. Stealin' her mom's perfumes. Sound familiar to you?"

"Frankie, you smoke like it's your Olympic event, how can you smell anything?"

"Don't turn this around on me. I know that move too. I got teenagers  _ and _ a wife. And that suit you're wearing probably costs more than this cab. But whatever, don't tell me. I know it's a guy." Frankie pulled up to the curb in front of the theatre to drop off his passenger,  then  dashed off down the road, sounding his horn as he merged back into traffic.

Johnny opened the door as Ben walked up the steps,  holding  his rag and glass cleaner in his other hand. His black maintenance uniform was an unusual sight for the start of the day.

"Good morning, Ben." Johnny let the door  swing  shut and went back to work cleaning the glass and shining the metal handles.

"Good morning. Trying a day shift?" Ben adjusted his bag on his shoulder as he watched Johnny work. He looked good in a uniform.

_ He looks good in anything. Probably nothing too. No. Stop it. _

"I just didn't get to everything last night. One of the other theatre companies, I forget exactly which one, they had late night dress rehearsal and they let people get discounted tickets to watch it. And it rained, so they brought in all their mud and umbrellas. Made a mess out of everything and I can't clean up until after they leave." Johnny stood on his toes to reach the top of the glass door. "So, I still have things to finish. I hope that's okay." He glanced over his shoulder at Ben.

"Of course. Whatever you need to do to get your task list done. If it becomes too much to handle on your own just say so. We can hire someone else to help you."

“I’ll be alright. I just need to use my time better, I think. Thanks though.” Johnny reassured him. He hadn’t meant for his complaining to sound as if the workload was too much. It was more than it had been in the beginning, but it wasn’t beyond his abilities. Johnny finished the windows and tucked his rag in his pocket as he turned to fully face Ben. “You look nice. Are you going somewhere after work?” 

“As of now, no. What do you think? Is it my color?” Ben looked down at himself and smiled at Johnny with an air of confidence that surprised himself.  “It’s not exactly a big stretch from grey.”

“No, yeah. Looks good. Definitely.” Johnny agreed, nodding his head and  finding  himself struggling to find his words. He had always thought his dad was the best dressed person in his life, but Ben's sense of style and taste for fine clothes certainly raised the bar. The suit brought a steel blue color to Ben’s eyes that Johnny couldn’t recall noticing before but currently found striking. “I have to, uh, get to the bathrooms before too many more people show up. I’ll, uh, talk to you later?”

“If you like. Have a good day.” Ben left Johnny to his work with a bounce to his step as he unlocked his office door.  

Johnny got the mop bucket from the supply closet and wheeled it down to the bathrooms. A perplexed scowl  rested  on his face as he started cleaning the bathrooms for the second time that morning. Talking to Ben was usually very easy. They could carry conversations for a long time without feeling awkward about it; and whenever it had been  awkward , it was Ben who did the running away. Johnny figured he had some anxieties about talking with new people, but didn’t want to embarrass him by bringing it up. 

_ What was that? Why did I say that? I don’t need to clean the bathrooms again. It’s just Ben… _

_ \--- _

Ben sat at his desk with the warm sun shining on the stack of papers he needed to organize and file with the city for further permits and taxes. He paper clipped documents together and put them away in designated folders before setting them aside to work on the next batch. It was a tedious task that was  low  on his priority list, but doing it early would save him a headache later. It wasn't until after he had finished the last of the filing that he noticed his office was much noisier than usual. The street noise was particularly clear and Ben looked over at his window.

_ I didn't open that. _

Ben stood from his desk and crossed the office to close the window. He reached for the cord to close the blinds and found pause. There was only one other person who had a key to his office and apparently had taken the time to open the window to let in the light and fresh air.

_ The sun is nice, I guess... _

Ben took a moment to enjoy the warmth against his face, and released the cord, deciding the blinds could remain open for a while longer.

"Such a nice day, no?" Gunter smiled from the doorway, the sequence of his golden tracksuit reflecting the light of the sun onto the door itself. Ben turned around with a raised brow.

"I guess so. Do you need something?"

"The door was open so I thought I would say hello. I am early for the practice time anyways." Gunter set his duffle bag down and looked Ben up and down, nodding in approval. "You are looking very good in that suit. Very fine. Super sexy, ja. Things are going good?"

"Thank you." Ben couldn't keep the smile from his face at the compliment. He returned to his desk and sat down. "And I think I've finally got the hang of this theatre thing. The big important parts of it at least. So, yes, things are definitely better."

"Oh, very good! And with Johnny too?" The pig grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "I knew the theatre would get you back into your groove. He is very cute, and just your type too!"

Ben raised his brows in surprise and panic before they scrunched down into his signature scowl as his face grew instantly hot.

_ Gunter! Shut up! The door is wide open! Why would you call me out like this?! Am I that fucking obvious? Fuck me! What if Johnny's noticed? Shit! _

"I don't have a type." Ben retorted with a calm voice, maintaining his composure, and furthered his grimace when Gunter snorted and scoffed.

"Yes you do. Ja, he is a bit younger than you. His face is, eh, complimentary."

"Complimentary?"

"His smiles balance out your frowns. He is the sweet to your sour. Sunshine in your storm cloud. The water to your fire."

"Okay, that's enough. I get it. Stop." Ben pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "We're not together. Not even close." He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair.

"No? But you two are, like, so very cute together." Gunter frowned and scratched his chin. "You have asked him out, right?"

"Of course not! Don't be ridiculous! He's not interested in someone like me. Besides, office romance is a disaster waiting to happen." Ben shook his head. He looked straight at Gunter and pointed a finger at him. "Don't you say a word. Don't make it weird."

"Okay okay, I will not say a word. Cross my heart. But you never know how somebody feels until you ask them!" Gunter grinned despite Ben's continued scowl. "And this is not a stuffy old office. The romances are different in theatre, trust Gunter!" He picked up his duffle bag and hoisted the strap onto his shoulder. "Have a nice day, Ben!"

Ben closed his office door and leaned back against it as he struggled against the dark thoughts of his mind that had found renewed strength.

_ He would not be interested in you. You're an asshole. He doesn't like you.You have nothing to offer someone like him. You'd only drag him down. Why do you even try? You shouldn't even talk to him. _

Ben sighed and looked over at his sunny window. The brightness of the sun reminded him of Johnny. He made any room he walked into warmer with his smile and his laugh. The memory of his song was like a soothing balm that allowed for a meeker voice in Ben's mind to reach through the negativity.

_ Maybe you're overreacting. If he didn't like you he wouldn't talk to you. Right? _

"Right...don't worry about that right now. Just concentrate on work. Back to the list." Ben returned to his desk and his paperwork.

\---

Johnny groaned and rubbed his hands down his face in frustration. He couldn't get his mind to focus on the notes and keys in front of him. With the use of the theatre by other troupes and companies, he found himself in serious competition over the use of his piano. He could only get in a few minutes at a time during the day before someone would come in at their appointed time to rehearse and he would have to leave. Between trying to work around other people's schedules and his growing custodial duties he was not practicing near ly as much as he wanted.

Staying up late was out of the question with how early he had to wake up so no one would catch him sleeping in the dressing room. It was communal space, of course, but he slept there! It was like people hanging out uninvited in his bedroom.

He sighed. He couldn't complain about it. They were paying for the space and use of the piano while he was just squatting. They were definitely in the right, but that didn't make it less irritating. Especially now that he had his own designated time to practice and he couldn't get his act together and put  in  the work. He grumbled and left the piano to see how everyone else was doing.  He hoped  witnessing them excel as usual would kick him back into gear but he soon  found  that was not the case today.

"Has anyone seen my amp cable? It was right here! I don't know why anyone would move it! I'm the only one here with an electric instrument!" Ash searched desperately in and out of the other practice rooms.

"Well, it's not in here." A small scowl formed on Meena's brow as she was forced to restart the music on the CD player after the interruption.

"Ash, will you stop yelling, please? I'm on the phone." Rosita tapped her foot as she kept the phone up to her ear and tried to listen intently to the voicemail.

"You are still on the phone? It is practice time now! Phone time is later!" Gunter poked his head out of their room with a smile that was cut short by Rosita's angry face.

"Gunter! Just give me a minute! It's about my kids. The babysitter left me an urgent message and now she's not answering the phone!"

"Where the hell is my amp cable?!"

"Stop yelling!"

"Woah woah woah!" Buster quickly rounded the corner from the workroom and approached the group with hands raised. "Everybody calm down! What's the problem?" He raised his hands up even higher when he was bombarded by them complaining in unison. "Enough! Alright. Obviously everyone is feeling some significant stress here. I understand. You've all been working really hard, and you know what? You all deserve a break! Everybody out! It's a beautiful day. Go get some fresh air." The koala corralled the rest of his cast and moved them through the auditorium and out the main entrance doors. "I am locking this door for the next two hours. You all have a good time!"

The rest of the cast watched as Buster locked the doors and waved at them through the glass with his signature smile before walking away. They glanced at each other in confusion.

"Did he just kick us out?" Ash held her arms out in disbelief.

"What are we supposed to do for two hours?" Meena looked down at the others.

"I guess I could go home and check on my babysitter..." Rosita tucked her phone in her pocket.

"Are we doing a fire drill?" Ben approached the group from the sidewalk with a curious raise of his brow and two coffees.

"Mr. Moon kicked us out so we'd take a break. I guess." Johnny shrugged. "What are you doing out here?" He did his best not to glance away when Ben made eye contact with him, and blinked confused when he held out one of the coffee cups to him.

"Getting coffee. Here. I owed you one from last week."

"Oh! Thank you." Johnny smiled down at the cup and felt his face flush reading Ben's name written in black felt pen on its side. He looked up again when Ben walked up to the doors of the theatre.

"You guys have fun on your break. I saw signs for a craft show or something down by the pier just that way." Ben pushed the door and bumped into it when it didn't open as anticipated. He pulled it and still it remained closed. "Are you serious?" He knocked at the door. "Mr. Moon, open the door."

"Is that Ben?" Buster's voice called through the lobby from the offices. "Sorry! It's break time! And  _ you _ need it the most! That door stays locked!" The koala walked from the office towards the auditorium with a toolbox in hand and his sleeves rolled up.

"Moon, open this door right now!" Ben pounded his fist against the door, avoiding the glass. "I have work to do!"

"Not for the next two hours! Bye Ben! Have fun!" Buster waved over his shoulder and walked into the auditorium without another word. Ben growled in frustration and pulled at the door again before looking back at Johnny.

"Do you have your keys on you?"

"No, sorry. I don't carry them around when I'm off the clock." He took a sip of his coffee. It was perfect. He didn't remember telling Ben how he took his coffee and settled for believing he forgot. "Why don't you come with us? We can check out that craft show thing you saw."

"Ja Ben, come with us! Maybe they have the pretty homemade soaps!" Gunter grinned and nodded.

"Oh, homemade soap is so nice. Let's do it." Rosita smiled in agreement, her mood significantly improved after receiving a text from her babysitter that all was well and she found the missing piglet inside the fridge.

"Alright, fine." Ben fell in line walking behind the group as they made their way down the sidewalk. He wanted to roll his eyes and grouse that he didn't want to go, but couldn't bring himself to do so in the presence of Johnny's smiling face. Ben felt his heart rise in his chest when Johnny waited for the rest of the group to pass so the two of them could walk next to each other. He smiled at the shorter gorilla and forced his eyes forward to prevent himself from staring at him. He brought his coffee up to his mouth to keep words from falling out as they tended to do when Johnny stood so close.

_ That...was not unintentional. He did that on purpose. He's walking with me on purpose! Fuck! What do I do? Should I hold his hand? I want to hold his hand. No! Do not do that! This is not a date! What if it is a date? Some weird impromptu coffee and craft show date. He would say so right? RIGHT!? _

"Thanks again for the coffee. You didn't have to do that."

“It wasn’t a problem. I needed a walk anyway.” Ben took his phone from his pocket when it rang and groaned as he silenced the call from his mother.  

“Rough morning?” Johnny took note of the caller as he finished his coffee. In the weeks he’d known Ben, he’d never seen him answer a call from his mother. She called him several times a week and he never seemed pleased to hear from her. 

“I just had a lot of tedious work to do and file. Lots of city stuff, tax forms, standard documentation and the like. None of it is very exciting, but I didn’t want to rush it in close to their due dates along with every other business in our district.” Ben shrugged as they rounded the corner and came in contact with the cool breeze off the ocean. 

The pier was lined with with rows of white and blue canopy tents, carts, and long tables of people displaying and selling homemade crafts, food, and collectibles. There were artists with large canvases and baskets of matted prints for sale. A wide  array of booths were selling homemade jams and jellies of the in-season fruits. Musicians played at the corners and craftsmen sold their wooden wares of toys and kitchen goods. 

The New Moon Singers weaved between the masses of other attendees and kept together as they looked left and right at each booth, stopping when one of their party wanted to take a closer look. 

“You don’t like taking calls from your mum, do you?” Johnny found the courage to ask but then regretted the choice to speak. It wasn’t his concern what Ben’s relationship with his mother was and it certainly wasn’t his business to ask. “Sorry, that was really nosy…”

“It’s fine. I don’t like getting calls from her at work. Conversations with her could drag on for hours if I let them and none of what she wants to tell me is important. Gossip with her friends, politics, the latest whatever she bought, who’s married or having children or grandchildren. Who’s single.” Ben groaned and rolled his eyes at the memory of the last conversation he had to listen to. “I feel sorry for my sister.”

“Sounds like you’re not on Facebook.” Johnny picked up a handmade spoon and admired the intricate details carved into its polished handle. He smiled at the craftsman and put it back where he found it. “Does your mum try to set you up with people?” Johnny smirked, amused at the exasperated expression Ben gave him in response to the question.

“Not anymore, she doesn’t. There was a time where every week it was somebody new.”

“She never found your type?” 

“Yeah, you could say that.” From a young age, Ben’s mother had introduced or mentioned any gorilla of reputable name in hopes of establishing some grounds for a relationship. She found only young ladies, much to Ben’s constant protests and her efforts only ceased after one rather embarrassing outburst during her weekly book club. “She’s never been good at listening, but at least she had two of us to talk at.”

“Benefit of siblings, eh?” Johnny flipped through a bin of colorful prints as the rest of the troupe moved on to other booths. 

“Do you have any?” Ben peered over Johnny’s shoulder and then looked ahead to keep an eye on the group. He didn’t mind separating from them to have Johnny’s attention all to himself, but he could imagine the things Gunter would be saying now that they were out of earshot after their conversation that morning. 

_ Does it really matter what they think? Yes, of course it does. They’re his friends. They’ll talk to him. What if whatever they say to him scares him off and he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore? Wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened.  _

“No, it’s just me. Sometimes I think it would have been nice to have a little brother or sister, but then I think I would have just been stuck babysitting while everyone was working. That may have been better than having to work too, but it is what it is.” Johnny shrugged with a smile. He spent the majority of his life working alongside his dad and the gang when he wasn’t in school. They’d find smaller jobs for him to do like being the lookout, picking locks, or dismantling car parts from the safety of the garage. 

“What did your parents do?” 

“We had a, uh, family business. My dad liked working on cars. We did that, pick up and delivery stuff, odd jobs here and there. That sort of thing.” Johnny scratched the back of his head and tried to hide the nervousness in his voice. 

“What about your mom?” Ben picked up a bar of soap from the next booth and brought it up to his nose. Pleased with the fragrance, he took his wallet from his jacket pocket. 

“She did the actual business stuff. Made contacts and deals.” Johnny frowned thinking about his mother but found his smile with the happy memories of her. “She was teaching me piano when I was a kid.”

Ben turned to face him with a smile that fell at the look on Johnny’s face. Distant and bittersweet. He didn't know how to ask what happened or if it was something he was even open to sharing. He didn't want to pry. Thankfully, Johnny recognized the questioning expression of Ben’s face.

“We lost Mum right before we came here.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. It was a long time ago. Let’s catch up with the others.” Johnny smiled at him and led the way, weaving through the crowd to meet up with the rest of the troupe at the edge of a seating area. 

Trucks, trailers, and booths circled around the end of the lines of tents, selling all manner of pastries, fried foods, and treats on sticks. Wooden picnic tables had been set up in the center covered by colorful umbrellas to offer relief from the warm sun.  

“Wow, everything smells great!” Rosita lifted her nose to the air to take in the various fragrances and started investigating the various stands for a snack. The troupe followed her lead, Ben and Johnny taking up the rear. 

“Hi Mr. Ben!” The high pitched voice cut through the crowd with ease as the group passed by a bright blue food truck, causing Ben to flinch in surprise. The tiny raccoon kit behind the counter waved at him excitedly with a big toothy grin.  Ben broke off from the rest of the group as they continued around the line. Johnny chose to follow Ben, curious as to how he knew the racoon. He looked at the plexiglass display case of sugary pastries and felt his mouth start to water.

“Hello, Mabel. How are you?” Ben gave the kit a smile as she shifted herself on the stool.

“I’m good! Momma’s taking a break so I get to run the front because I’m a big girl! Isn’t that cool? Did you like my donut? Daddy said he gave you one and that you said it was good! You weren’t fibbing right? Captain Crunch is my favorite! Is it your favorite? Who’s that? He’s cute! Is he your boyfriend?” Mabel finished her barrage of questioning as the two gorillas exchanged curious glances.

Johnny darted his eyes away and he focused back on the display case as he felt his face burn at the idea of what the little girl had insinuated. Ben clenched his jaw as his heart leaped up in his throat.

_ Damnit Mabel! You can’t just say that! What is it with people today? _

“This is Johnny. And no, he’s not. We just work together.” Ben explained calmly, regaining his composure despite his mental fluster. “I did like your donut. You’ll get no fibs from me.”

“Do you want to buy one?” Her beaming smile was so full of hope and promise that Ben felt it bore into his very soul.

“Yep. I sure do.” 

“My first sale! Thank you!” Mabel reached over to get a paper bag and the pastry tongs. "Oh! Daddy said to mention that we have a deal if you buy a box. Do you want to buy a box? You’ll get six, if you do.”

"Yep, I'll take two." Ben winced and reached for his wallet in defeat.

"TWO?!" Mabel gasped loudly and jumped off her stool before running to the back of the truck. "Momma! I need your help! Mr. Ben wants two whole boxes!"

"Fuck me..." Ben rubbed his face and shook his head with a groan.

"You know, I never figured you for the donut type." Johnny eyed him, amused at Ben's unhesitant purchase despite the pained look on his face.

"I couldn't say no to her. She's just trying to survive in our disgustingly capitalist society. I can only imagine the look on her face if I said no and it's already threatening to kill me. Just...tiny children selling things." Ben shrugged, exasperated, as he counted his remaining cash. "It's a clear and obvious weakness that I have to admit to myself. I'm just glad I stopped at two boxes."

"Wow. The Girl Scouts must get you every year."

"I donate to them monthly." Ben closed his eyes and shook his head again. "This little 10-year old told me I could write it off on my taxes. She was trying so hard. I couldn't handle it." He looked back up at the counter as Mabel returned.

With her mother's help, Mabel counted out six fluffy donuts topped with a thin layer of frosting and Captain Crunch. Once the first box was full, she folded it up and worked on the second box. She found several felt tip markers in various colors and began drawing flowers on the outside of the two boxes.

"You get a free designer box since you bought two!" Mabel smiled and passed the finished boxes across the counter. "Don't eat them all at once or you'll get fat! Try sharing!"

"Solid advice. Thank you, Mabel. Have a good day." Ben left with the boxes and Johnny in tow to bring them back to a table that the rest of the troupe had taken a seat at. He placed the boxes in the middle of the table. "A little girl told me to share. Have at 'em. I'm not taking these home."

"Oh! Donuts! Thank you so much, Ben!" Gunter flipped open the lid and marveled at the colorful pastries. "Cereal donuts. Like a double breakfast, no?"

"I'm into it." Ash reached in the box after Gunter and soon after the others had taken one as well, leaving plenty to save for later in the day.

The group spent the rest of their time going back through the various booths and stalls, stopping by musicians and exploring the sandy beach with the leaving of the tide. Pant legs were rolled up and shoes removed to wade through the shallow waters and dodge incoming waves. Some performed better than others.

Ben chose to remain on the pier above them, leaning over the railing and watching. His were not the clothes one played on the beach in. The cool winds against his face, the smell of the sea and the sound of the waves rolling into one another brought him a sense of peace as he stared out into the shining waters. He allowed his mind to quiet and his shoulders to relax as he paid no attention to who might be watching.

Johnny looked up at him from his seat in the sand. He wished Ben had joined them but understood if he felt he wasn't dressed for the activity. The shoes he wore were probably more expensive than all of their shoes combined. He looked lonely standing on the pier. He wasn't watching them anymore, just staring out at the ocean. What was he thinking about?

_ Is he thinking about me? _

Johnny shook his head and looked at his now sandy feet, bewildered at the thought. Ben had no reason to think about him and that left a dull ache in Johnny's chest,  which  brought even more confusion in his mind. He let himself look back up at the pier and soaked in the image. It was quite picturesque.  With  his fancy clothes and the ocean setting, Ben looked as if he stepped out of a magazine. Johnny took his phone from his pocket and shifted slightly for a better angle. A part of him wanted to call out and tell Ben to smile. He had a lovely smile. Pleased with the photo, Johnny set it as Ben's contact picture.

"I think our two hours are definitely up. We should be heading back." Rosita checked her phone and led the way back up the stairs to the pier, dusting her feet off on the steps as she went before putting her shoes back on. She approached Ben to get his attention and gestured for him to follow.

"I don't even want to go back now. It's so nice out." Ash groaned and left her shoes off, finding them far too sandy.

The group walked back up the street towards the theatre in much better spirits than when they left, Johnny and Ben following in the back as they had before. The two walked in a peaceful silence, carrying the box of leftover donuts and listening to the chattering of those in front of them. A quiet sigh from Ben caught Johnny's attention.

"Something wrong?"

"You can pick locks."

"What?"

"You can pick locks. I was just wondering what we were going to do to get back inside if Mr. Moon still refuses to open the door or if he can't hear us." Ben smiled at him. "We could have gone back in at anytime."

"Oh yeah. You're probably right, but then we wouldn't have gone to the craft show and ate cereal donuts! I think that's a much better day than whatever paperwork you still have to do." Johnny felt the need to avert his eyes and looked ahead. "You're really smart. I'm sure you'll catch up with any work time you've lost today."

"I can certainly agree that it was a much better day than expected. Maybe I should dress up more often." Ben smiled, pleased that the door opened when Meena pushed it inwards and the group filed into the building. "Back to work. I hope your practice goes well."

"Yeah, thanks. Talk to you later." Johnny watched as Ben disappeared into his office before slowly following the rest of the troupe back to the practice rooms.

Ben walked around his desk and sat in his chair to take a moment to reflect on the events of the day. It had been a good day. It had been far too long since he felt this way. He felt peaceful and happy.

_ You could ask him out to dinner. He'd probably like that. It would work fine schedule wise early in the week. You should ask him now before he makes other plans. What if he says no? Fuck, what if he says yes? _

Ben dug his heels into the floor to scoot his chair forward, but the chair did not move as anticipated. He lurched forward with a cry of surprise and caught himself just before his face collided with the desk.

"What?" He inspected his chair, and found it was lacking its wheels. "What? Oh, you've got to be kidding!" He got to his feet and grabbed his chair by the back and stormed out of his office. He found Buster crossing the lobby from the bathrooms. "Did you take the wheels off my chair?"

"Yes! I needed them for a set piece." Buster's matter-of-fact tone left Ben baffled.

"Why my chair? You couldn't find anything else to use?"

"Well, I was going to order some cart wheels, but I couldn't, and you were gone, so I found a solution. The needs of the theatre outweigh the needs of your butt, Ben! You'll have to scoot like the rest of us." Buster strolled passed him and walked into the auditorium, leaving the accountant speechless and befuddled.

"Why, you snarky little shit..." Ben muttered quietly to himself as he felt his anger boil up in his chest. He took a series of deep breaths. "No. No. He just wants back into the accounts. I can't give in. That's how the terrorists win." He growled and went back to his office, leaving the task of dealing with his chair for another day.

\---

_ I have a crush on Ben. _

Johnny lay still on his couch, staring up at the black ceiling of the dressing room with only the minute light from his phone charger to break the darkness. He had spent the rest of the day pondering his confusing thoughts and well passed midnight had finally come to the conclusion that he was attracted to Ben.

He wanted to spend time with him. He wanted to get to know him. He was sad when Ben left the theatre to go home for the evening without saying goodbye despite the fact that he had never done so in the past. He dashed for his phone every time it chimed or vibrated, hoping it was Ben, and was disappointed when it wasn't. 

Johnny reached down and picked up his phone. He opened his photos and found the picture he took of Ben. He was beautiful. From his sharp tongue and intelligent eyes to his straight back and squared shoulders, his features were striking. It wasn't just his physical appearance that Johnny found attractive. Ben moved and spoke with purpose and confidence that Johnny could only hope to  have someday. He had a quick wit and  a  dry sense of humor. His expertly delivered sarcasm had caused Johnny to laugh on several occasions.

He was endearing. Despite Ben's initial tough shell of a personality, Johnny had seen softness in him when he witnessed him opening doors for Ms. Crawley or when Ben remembered how he took his coffee. Ben's genuine smile, subtle and sadly rare, were cherished. Johnny wanted him to smile more, to laugh and light up. He wanted to be the cause of it.

He groaned and rubbed his face.

_ I need a walk. _

Johnny put on his shoes and jacket and grabbed his keys before leaving out the backstage exit. The night air was cold and refreshing as he walked through the orange glow of the city lights. The bars had closed and left their lingering patrons to stagger down the sidewalk hoping to flag down a late night cab home. Johnny moved around them easily and tucked his thumbs in his pockets as he continued down the street and questions fell through his mind like raindrops. 

_ So, now what? Do I say something to him? What would I even say? “Hi Ben, I think you’re cute. Want to go out?” Ugh. No. That’s dumb. Is Ben even gay? Am I gay? I don’t feel gay. Does being attracted to one guy make you gay? God, what’s dad going to think? I can picture it now. “Well, that bloody figures. Shoulda known with you joinin’ a theatre. Some son you are.” Dad doesn’t have to know. He’s disappointed enough as it is.  _

Johnny rounded the corner of a building and continued down the sidewalk towards the canal. The garish white light and neon signs of a 24 hour convenience store broke up the deep shadows of his stroll and drew his attention. Johnny walked inside and meandered around the store as he was eyed intently by the clerk behind the counter. He paid for a bottle of water and left without a word. Leaning against the brick wall of the next building over he drank and watched the few cars go by. 

A sudden feeling of dread washed over him. The fur on his body stood on end as he felt eyes on him. He glanced around slowly and pushed himself off the wall to keep moving. He stopped suddenly as his heart jumped up in his throat when Raze stepped out of the shadows. The towering leopard bared a toothy grin as his eyes reflected a sinister green in the dark, reminiscent of the jacket he wore.

“Johnny boy! Just the person I wanted to see.” 

Johnny looked over his shoulder just as the rest of the Emeralds began their slow approach from behind him and across the street. Their bodies  were  silhouetted but the eyes shone like their leader’s. He was surrounded.

“I don’t have anything for you, Raze.” Johnny tried to put on a tough face and keep his voice from shaking as he slowly turned his back to the building. 

“See, that's where you’re wrong. I know for a fact that your dear old dad has some nice stores of cash tucked away in special spots around the city. I want to know where, and you’re going to tell me.” Raze’s approach was so slow and subtle that Johnny didn’t register how close he had got until his back was pressed against the wall. 

“I-I don't know where they are.” Johnny’s eyes were wide as saucers as they darted around looking for a chance of escape or anyone to call out to.  But he  knew no one would help even if they were there.

“You’re the shittiest liar, Johnny boy. It’s insulting, really.” Raze loomed over him, cloaking him in his shadow. “Last chance.” 

_ Can’t hide. Can’t fight. Gotta run. I have to try! _

Johnny squeezed the water bottle in his hand with all his strength, firing it's contents in Raze’s face before ducking down to maneuver behind him and bolting down the sidewalk. 

“Get him!” Raze roared as he shook the water from his face. 

“I love it when they run!” Rip cackled as he and his brothers began their chase.

If it weren’t for their laughing and taunting, Johnny wouldn’t have been able to determine how far behind him they were, which wasn’t much. Despite their size, the Emerald Crew ran silently in comparison to Johnny’s loud footing. He turned sharply around corners and ran through narrow spaces between buildings, using his smaller size to some advantage. He jumped over a short courtyard fence and knocked over chairs and tables to put debris between him and his pursuers. If he could find a way to get out of their line of vision he would have a chance to hide. It was the only way he could escape.

He couldn’t look back. Looking back slowed you down. He didn’t see that Rip and Talon had split off from the group as he started over one of the canal bridges. He skidded to a stop when they cut off his exit.  Raze and Fang still covered the way he came. Surrounded again! They slowed their pursuit when Johnny was forced to stop and he backed away from them until he leaned against the railing of the bridge. He glanced over his shoulder at the black water below.

“Nowhere to run now, kid. Just come quietly, do as I say, and I might let you limp away from this.” Raze snarled as he and his crew closed in on their prey. 

Johnny kept his eyes on the water. It was not a short drop and it swirled with a current of unknown strength. He glanced over at the Emerald Crew before quickly pushing himself up over the railing and plummeted down into the canal below, only narrowly escaping the clawed grasp of Raze. 

“Go along the edge! He has to come back up!” The Emerald leader growled loudly as he peered into the black water and slammed his fist against the railing. The shining of flashlights from the street cause him to turn his head sharply.

“Hey! What’s going on over there?” The police officer’s voice of authority forced the Emeralds to flee, abandoning their hunt.

The impact of hitting the water knocked whatever wind Johnny had left out of his chest. It was shockingly cold, and he was blind and deaf to anything but the sound of the current. The canal acted as a road for the city’s aquatic citizens and had two distinct currents. Close to the surface the water was slower and manageable, but the farther down one went the faster the speed. The distance of his fall landed Johnny in the rapid lower current. He was taken several yards down the canal and thrashed against various structures hidden in the darkness before he was able to get his grip on something and pull himself from the currents. 

He gasped loudly as he took in a lungful of air and immediately began coughing. His chest burned, his head throbbed and his body ached. He pulled himself onto the bank and rested face first on the grass, panting heavily to try and catch his breath. He strained to lift his head up and dropped it back down again when he saw no sign of Raze and his Emeralds, figuring this to be the opportunity they would take to pounce on him.

"That...That is nothing like it is in the movies. People don't just walk away after jumping off a bridge. Everything hurts..." Johnny groaned as he slowly forced his body to move. He had to get back to the theatre where he was safe. The walk was excruciatingly long and cold as he limped and shuffled his way back. He took extra care to check over his shoulder frequently and  peer  down dark alley ways before passing  them  by. His hands were shaking by the time he got to the  theatre’s  back door and he slipped inside, letting out a long sigh of relief.

_ I'm going to bed. Ugh.  _ _ No,  _ _ I smell like the canal. If I don't shower now I'll stink up the whole room. _

Johnny whined as he struggled to remove his wet clothes against his protesting muscles. He counted himself lucky not to be broken, but he was definitely bruised. The hot water from the shower eased some of his discomfort, but it would be several days before he  would be  healed. He lazily dried himself off, put on clean shorts and collapsed onto the couch completely exhausted. Sleep took him before he had a chance to get under his blankets.

\---

"Hey Johnny, can I get your help with something?" Ash pushed the door to the practice room open with a notebook in her hand and a look of frustration on her face. 

Johnny looked up from the sheet music he had been staring at since practice began. The few hours of sleep he had were restless and haunted by spotted monsters cackling wildly just before they sprang from the dark. He gave up on sleep after that and it left him terribly distracted.

"Yeah, sure. What's up?" He turned on the bench and winced at the pain that shot through his muscles.

"Moon wants me to write a ballad, of all things. Like, I get it, broaden my horizons or whatever, but I really can't get my head around that stuff. Everything I write either turns angry or sounds way too fake. Sappy love songs are not my thing and I can't come up with anything that sounds good." Ash glared at the notebook and looked up at him. "Got any advice?"

"Advice on writing a ballad? Hmm." Johnny furrowed his brow in concentration as he thought it over. He was honored that she thought of him when she was seeking out advice, even if he didn't have much experience in writing his own music. Maybe he wasn't lagging behind as much as he suspected. He thought of Ben and what he might sing to him to make him happy or win him over. That wouldn't help Ash. She clearly still felt negatively regarding romance after being slighted  by Lance . Ash's album was full of songs of anger, heartbreak, and self - empowerment.

"It's hard, right? Maybe I should write about something else. It'd be easier to write a ballad about mac 'n cheese but I don't think that's what Moon wants."

"Write one to yourself."

"To myself?" She raised a brow at the suggestion.

"Yeah. If I needed to write a ballad and didn't have anyone specific to write it for, I would write what I wanted to hear from someone else." Johnny smiled at the thought of what Ben might write. "Does that help?"

"You know, I think it does. I'll try it from that angle. Thanks Johnny! I knew I could count on you." Ash scribbled a few things in her notebook as she walked out of the practice room.

Johnny watched her go until she closed the door and returned to staring at the sheet music in front of him. The notes seemed to blur together as the minutes went by. He groaned in frustration when the timer above the piano went off and he had to surrender his practice room to another performer before he could even complete the first page. He let them eagerly pass by and trudged into the dressing room to put the papers in his locker.

_ Tonight. I'll get through it all tonight. I can't keep going on like this if I'm going to be ready for the show. Everyone will be so disappointed if I mess this up. _

Johnny spent the rest of his time busying himself with tasks around the theatre. He refused to leave the building unless under the most dire of circumstances, and found himself painting set pieces until it was time to clock in. By that time, Ben had already gone home for the day, and Johnny felt downhearted that he didn't get the chance to speak to him. 

Truth be told, he hadn't sought him out. He didn't know what to say to him with his mind still coming to terms with his attraction. Should he just go on like he felt nothing?

In a sudden epiphany, Johnny had a new understanding to one of the old songs he  used to sing while he was acting as lookout for his dad. The tune returned to the forefront of his mind as he cleaned the windows in Ben's office.

_ But 'til I can see _

_ That you'd really care for me _

_ I'll keep trying to hide _

_ The way I feel inside _

\---

Buster strolled through the theatre in the early hours of the morning with his tool set in hand. There were several set pieces that needed building or improving and he found that 3am was the best time to build and paint. He passed the dressing room silently on his way to the work room and made a mental note to work as quietly as possible.

"Don't want to wake anyone up." He whispered to himself with a smile. The sudden slamming of piano keys caused Buster to jump and whip his head around. "Or maybe that doesn't matter?" He turned and walked to the practice rooms. He peered into the room where the piano lived and found Johnny hunched over the keys with his face resting in his hands. Buster checked his watch and frowned with concern.

Johnny rubbed the temples of his throbbing head. Sleep had not come to him for the second night in a row. His mind raced trying to figure out what he was going to do about the Emerald Crew, who were a priority concern, but that left him with little energy to think about his feelings revolving around Ben that ate away at him. His music had been cast aside to focus on the job he was paid to do and he found himself stretched immensely thin.

_ I can't go to the police, I've got no evidence against Raze and they'll start asking me questions about dad. I can't go to dad because he'll do something dumb like break out of jail again and get himself into more trouble. I can't take the fight to them because I'll die. I can't just give them the money because that's dad's money. I won't take any more from him and if I were to do that, I would be reduced to a loose end to Raze and that puts me in a worse position than I am now. So, I guess I'll just stay in the theatre forever and never go outside again. _

Johnny sighed defeatedly and let his forehead rest against the face of the piano.

_ I still don't know what to do about Ben. I like to think he'd be interested. I could ask him out for coffee, somewhere across town where it would be safe. He seems like he'd be understanding even if he wasn't interested. He wouldn't be a jerk if he...rejected me. _

Johnny felt his stomach churn at the thought of Ben saying no. He couldn't handle that, especially now.

"Everything alright?" Buster spoke quietly from the doorway.

"No, but I'll be fine. Just tired and distracted, I guess." Johnny sighed again and sat up straight to stretch his aching back. He froze and his eyes widened when his brain registered that Mr. Moon was in the practice room with him at this hour. He slowly turned his head and saw the koala smiling up at him, seemingly unphased.

"It's awfully late for you, isn't it? What's on your mind?" Buster pulled a folding chair out to sit on and offer himself as a listening ear.

"Mr. Moon! I'm so sorry! I, uh, lost track of the time? I didn't, um..." Johnny looked down at the keys and tried to come up with a better excuse for still being in the theatre.

"Johnny, you're fine. How's the couch working for you? You got it fixed up nice." Buster smiled warmly.

"You knew? Wait, did you get that for me?" Johnny stared at him in disbelief even as Buster laughed.

"Of course I knew! There's nothing that happens in this theatre that I don't know about. But, don't worry about it. Mi casa es su casa." Buster leaned forward in the chair. "What's been going on? You seem stressed."

"Yeah, you could say that." Johnny looked back down at the keys of the piano and frowned. "I'm just...feeling like I'm falling behind everyone else. I can't focus, which makes me stress out. I stress out and that makes it hard to sleep which makes it even harder to focus and I fall farther behind. I don't know what to do. I don't know where I'm going with this at all...and from the outside it looks like I don't want it." It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie.

"It's not a race, Johnny. Everyone goes at different speeds. Just because you feel like you're slower than the others doesn't mean you're not doing great or making progress. They all have their problems that you don't see, trust me. And there is no finish line to reach! Being an artist is a constant cycle of progression. You're going to get really good at some things, try new things and be bad at them until eventually you're good at those too. Find inspiration in the rest of your troupe, but don't compete with them. It's not that kind of show anymore. You joined the theatre because you love to sing and you want to share that with people. So just sing. Don't think about it so hard." Buster smiled as he watched his words absorb in Johnny's mind and his shoulders slowly begin to relax. Eventually, the gorilla nodded in understanding.

"Thanks, Mr. Moon."

"Anytime. That's what I'm here for." Buster hopped off the chair. "That and set building! I'll try to keep quiet. Go on and get to bed before you make yourself sick. I hear that happens to some people if they don't sleep." He waved his hand, gesturing for Johnny to clear out of the practice room. "I'm going to stay quiet about staying here at the theatre and I recommend you do the same. I'd hate for Ben to find out and kick us out because it's against fire code or something. Not that it would stop me." He walked with Johnny down to the dressing room.

"He wouldn't do that. I know you two don't get along but he's really not that bad. He's just trying to do a good job like everyone else is." Johnny smiled at Mr. Moon as he rolled his eyes.

"If it comes from a law or money book, I assume it's part of Ben's job. Good night, Johnny! See you bright and early tomorrow!" Buster continued down the hall towards the work room.

"Good night, Mr. Moon." Johnny closed the dressing room door behind him and slipped under his blankets. He reached for his phone and smiled at the photo he set as his background. Icons had been adjusted so he could see Ben's face. He still didn't know what to do regarding his ever growing feelings, but decided he would let his fears go for now. Perhaps it would be best just to see where his heart went on its own.

 

 


	5. Internal Conflict

Chapter Five: Internal Conflict

 

Thursday  had come  around again. Johnny sat on the stool and waited for his dad to be released into the visiting room. He took his phone from his pocket when it chimed and smiled at the message from Ben. They texted each other regularly, and the accountant always seemed to have a funny picture or post from the internet waiting in the wings for him in the morning. They were always heavily coated in sarcasm and never failed to start Johnny’s day with a laugh. 

“Where do you get these?” Johnny shook his head with a quiet laugh as he replied. His smile was hard to fade and his brow softened. Seeing this side of Ben made him feel special. He hadn’t said anything regarding his feelings to anyone. Johnny silently let them grow on their own and felt more infatuated day by day. He let out a gentle sigh,  then  blinked, hearing a knocking on the glass partition. 

His dad was sitting on the other side resting his jaw in his hand and staring at him with a curiously smug smirk on his face. Johnny quickly put his phone away to not waste anymore time and picked up the orange corded telephone.

“Hey, sorry Dad. ‘Morning.” Johnny gave an apologetic smile.

“Yeah, ‘morning. Who you talkin’ to?” His tone was teasing as he kept smirking at his son. 

“Just someone from work.” 

“Someone from work, eh? This a special someone you ain’t told me about?” Big Daddy grinned when his boy tensed up. Johnny was a terrible liar. It was an embarrassing quality in a criminal but it was handy to a parent. He laughed. “Yea, I thought so! Good for you, son! What’s she like?”

“Dad, that’s not it at all! We’re just friends.” Johnny felt his stomach drop and his face turn hot. He had no intention of telling his dad about Ben, especially not without practicing first!

_ Please, don’t push! I can’t handle what the look on your face is going to be!  _

“Yeah, ‘just friends’ my arse. You expect me to believe that when I come out here to see you lookin’ all besotted staring at your phone?”  

“I don’t look besotted!” Johnny objected as he slowly started sinking on the stool. 

“C’mon, quit being a baby. What’s her name?” 

“It’s..um…” Johnny looked down at the counter as his mind spun like mad to come up with what he could say to get out of this conversation without making it worse.

Big Daddy’s smile slowly faded as he watched his son’s expression go from embarassed to fearful. He watched Johnny fidget like he had a secret or was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. Big Daddy scowled as he pondered why him knowing about this girl would make his son so nervous. He couldn’t recall Johnny acting this way with girls before. He couldn’t recall Johnny being with a girl at all. 

_ Oh. _

His brows lifted with sudden understanding. He watched his son fumble with his words. Johnny was terrified of his reaction. Big Daddy frowned at the thought of his boy being afraid of him and took a deep breath. He didn’t understand it, but it wasn’t worth losing  Johnny  over. He chuckled lightly.

“It’s alright, son. You can talk to me. What’s, uh, what’s _ his _ name then?” Big Daddy kept his voice as soft as he could and gave Johnny a small smile. There was silence between them as Johnny cautiously looked back up at his dad.

“...Ben?” Johnny winced and held his breath in anticipation. 

“Ben, eh? What’s your Ben do then?”  

“He’s not my Ben, Dad. He’s an accountant for the theatre. He takes care of all the business stuff.” Slowly, Johnny let his shoulders relax the more his dad remained open to conversation. 

“An accountant? You serious?” Big Daddy laughed at the idea of some nerdy pencil pusher winning his son over. 

“What’s so funny about that?” Johnny pouted. “He’s really smart and confident. He’s in shape and dresses nice. He’s well off and put together. He…” Johnny trailed off as he glanced down at the counter. Ben was everything he wasn’t. What could Johnny offer that Ben didn’t already have?  “He’s entirely out of my league...wow.”

“The hell he is.” Big Daddy scowled and waved his hand dismissively. “Listen son, there’s no such thing as leagues. Anybody who says otherwise  ain’t worth listening to. That’s high school crap, Johnny. Don’t buy into it.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Dad.” Johnny smiled warmly up at his dad. He remained unconvinced but he appreciated the words. 

“Now, I can’t remember if I’ve had this talk with you or not, but I won’t be labeled as an irresponsible father. Just because you can’t get a fella pregnant doesn’t mean you don’t have to be safe-”

“Dad, no.” Johnny shook his head and stared wide eyed and horrified. 

“Let me finish, Johnny. This is important. Just because you can’t get a fella pregnant doesn’t mean you don’t have to be safe. Keep some rubbers in your wallet and don’t let people talk you into doin’ things you don’t want to do, even if you like ‘em. Even if it’s Ben, alright?”

“Dad, stop! I wasn’t even thinking about that!” Johnny covered his burning face and shrank in his seat.

“Yeah, I know! That’s why it’s important! I don’t want you getting the AIDS, Johnny! It’s a terrible disease! People die from it!”

“Oh my god, I only get to talk to you for 15 minutes a week! We’re not talking about this!”

\---

Big Daddy was given a large escort through the many gates and hallways that led to the secured central part of the prison. The loud clang of the bars was accompanied by a jarring buzzer to signal his transfer to the other guards. He paid them no mind as they released him into the common area of the prison. He checked the time and walked further down the white hallway. Several other prisoners quickly moved out of his way as he crossed the cafeteria to join his gang for breakfast at their table. Stan and Barry sat and ate the colorless food with no complaint.

“How’s the kid?” Stan didn’t look up from his meal as he pushed a third tray over to Big Daddy’s seat at the table.  The  silence was concerning. “Boss? Everything alright?”

“Did you think my son was gay?” He finally inquired. Stan and Barry had known Johnny since the day he was born. Did they see something he didn’t?

“I don’t think gay is the word I woulda used.” Stan shrugged, unfazed by the question, and continued with his breakfast.

“What word would you have used?” Big Daddy scowled defensively as his hands balled into fists.

“What’s the one where they don’t really feel it for anybody?” Stan glanced over at Barry as he took a bite from a hard biscuit.

“Oh, that’s asexual, that is.” Barry responded casually. “No sexual attraction regardless of gender.”

“Yeah, that one. ” Stan nodded.

“That’s a thing?”  Big Daddy scowled in confusion. He’d never heard the word before.  

“Yeah, Boss. You didn’t know that?” 

Big Daddy shook his head slightly as his gang looked at him with in disbelief. They spent the rest of breakfast discussing the concept of asexuality and how it could be applied to their former junior member. 

\---

Ash shifted her guitar case in her hands as she pushed open the theatre door. The sound of laughter from Ben’s office drew her attention and she leaned her head over to peek through the open door. Ben and Johnny sat on either side of the desk eating lunch and watching compilations of short videos on Ben’s computer.

“What are you guys watching?” Ash walked over to the office and poked her head in as Johnny took a bite of his sandwich.

“Vines.” He wiped peanut butter from the side of his mouth with his knuckles and looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. “Is it practice time already?” 

“Just about. We can finish this one tomorrow.” Ben adjusted his computer to type comfortably and saved the link in his favorites. Johnny finished the last of his sandwich and stood up, brushing the crumbs from his clothes.

“Yeah, okay. We’re doing a full rehearsal on stage later. You should come watch if you have time.” He grabbed his jacket from the coat rack and smiled at Ben from the doorway. 

“I’ll be there. Have a good practice.” Ben nodded and put his glasses on before pulling a stack of documents over to the center of his desk. He looked up as Johnny turned and watched him leave until he was out of sight. 

Ash stood by the doorway, glancing between the two of them, and squinted her eyes at the exchange before following Johnny into the auditorium. She couldn’t bring herself to ask the question that had been at the forefront of her mind for the last few weeks. She went into her practice room and plugged  her guitar  into the amp to go through her song. The chords came easy enough with muscle memory even as her mind remained unfocused.

_ There’s no way they’re not. They have lunch and watch freaking Vines together now.  _ _ But  _ _ I don’t wanna just ask him and make it weird if it’s not true!  _

She left the practice room after the fifth run through of her song and took her notebook from her locker in the dressing room to work on the most difficult ballad ever written. Johnny’s help had been useful but she found herself stuck once again.

_ With the way he and Ben look at each other he’d probably have all sorts of ideas! I should ask him for help again. All of the best lyrics are from his ideas anyway. _

“Whew! This routine is going to get me in shape in no time at all. I’m going to feel this tomorrow.” Rosita came into the dressing room, fanning her face with her hand. Gunter and Meena followed her inside.

“Ja, but it is happy pain! You are doing so good with this one!” Gunter grinned and got a power bar from his locker. 

“Everything alright, Ash? You look...really serious.” Meena looked down at her friend with a worried expression.

“Are Johnny and Ben dating?” She couldn’t contain the question any longer. Ash looked at the faces of the rest of her troupe. “Don’t tell me I’m the only one seeing it.”

“ No, you’re not the only one.  But  I don’t think they are?” Rosita glanced over at Gunter.

“They are, like, so into each other. It is so cute, no?” Gunter giggled as he ate. “But the last time I talk with Ben he said they are not dating.”

“Oh, I thought they were a long time ago. I mean, it’s kind of obvious.” Meena added with a nod.

“What’s obvious?” Johnny moved around the young elephant when she stepped aside. The troupe quickly exchanged nervous glances with each other before Ash found something to say that she hoped would shed some light on the subject.

“We’re talking about Ben being gay.”

“Ben’s gay?” Johnny opened his locker to put his sheet music away. Ash held out her arms, completely baffled and shocked by Johnny’s  oblivious  reaction. Gunter sputtered as he laughed.

“Ja, he is the gayest. You did not know this?” 

“It never came up.” Johnny shrugged as he glanced around the room at the rest of his troupe, who were staring at him curiously. “Does it matter?” 

“I guess we’re just surprised. You guys are so close.” Rosita smiled softly with a tilt of her head. 

“Yeah, I guess so…” Johnny rubbed the back of his neck, growing nervous under their gaze s . “Am I missing something?” 

“Alright! Everybody ready?” Buster’s sudden appearance at the door made them all flinch. Ms. Crawley stood behind him,  holding  a clipboard with several blank pieces of paper. “The stage is ready for the first rehearsal run! I want you guys to show me your very best! Meena, I want you on first. Can you handle that?” He smiled up at her.

“Yes sir, Mr. Moon.” The elephant smiled and nodded before moving around Johnny to leave the dressing room. 

“That’s the spirit! Next, I want to see Ash, then Johnny, and we’ll finish with Gunter and Rosita. Sound good?” Buster was pleased by the chorus of agreement. “Great! I can’t wait to see everything put together.” The koala headed for the seats to watch from the front row. 

“Break a leg,  everyone !” Ms. Crawley called cheerfully as she followed her boss down the stage stairs. 

Johnny left the dressing room to fetch the piano and get it into position for his place in the line up. The set changes would go smoother when Eddie joined them for rehearsal to polish up the flow of the performances. He stacked the bench on the piano lid and pushed it towards the main stage. He tried to focus on Meena and Ash’s performances but found his head spinning. 

_ So, I have a chance? I’d believe Gunter out of everyone. He knows Ben best. I might actually have a chance!  _

“Johnny! Let’s hear what you’ve got!” Buster called from the front row. 

Johnny moved quickly not to miss his cue and pushed the piano on stage. He reached up  and  move d the bench down to the floor,  then  took his seat. He looked down at Mr. Moon, waiting for his signal, and saw movement at the back of the theatre. He felt his heart doing somersaults and smiled as Ben sat down in the back row. 

“Ready when you are Johnny! I wanna see you light up this stage! Take it away!” Buster flipped his paper over to take notes on the performances. 

“You’ll like this one, Mr. Moon. He’s been working so hard.” Ms. Crawley smiled and nodded encouragingly at her pupil.

Johnny returned the nod and took a deep breath.

_ Sing it to him, just like practice, and you won’t mess it up.  _

It was not the piece he had chosen after the re-opening show. In light of his growing affections and frequently assisting Ash in writing her ballad, he found inspiration in a different song. With sheet music found online and a muse in his heart, practice came much easier. The piano opened with a soft and gentle melody.

 

_ I've been hearing symphonies _

_ Before all I heard was silence _

_ A rhapsody for you and me _

_ And every melody is timeless _

_ Life was stringing me along _

_ Then you came and you cut me loose _

_ Was solo singing on my own _

_ Now I can't find the key without you _

 

_ And now your song is on repeat _

_ And I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat _

_ And when you're gone, I feel incomplete _

_ So if you want the truth _

 

_ I just wanna be part of your symphony _

_ Will you hold me tight and not let go? _

_ Symphony _

_ Like a love song on the radio _

_ Will you hold me tight and not let go? _

 

The chorus stretched the limits of his tenor range, but advice on technique from Rosita had been invaluable in maintaining his comfort. He tapped his foot on beat with his measures. 

 

_ I'm sorry if it's all too much _

_ Every day you're here, I'm healing _

_ And I was runnin' out of luck _

_ I never thought I'd find this feeling _

_ 'Cause I've been hearing symphonies _

_ Before all I heard was silence _

_ A rhapsody for you and me _

_ And every melody is timeless _

 

_ And now your song is on repeat _

_ And I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat _

_ And when you're gone, I feel incomplete _

_ So if you want the truth _

 

_ I just wanna be part of your symphony _

_ Will you hold me tight and not let go? _

_ Symphony _

_ Like a love song on the radio _

_ Will you hold me tight and not let go?   _

 

He found himself smiling and engrossed in the words. They wrapped themselves around his heart and filled with him with hope. 

 

_ And now your song is on repeat _

_ And I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat _

_ And when you're gone, I feel incomplete _

_ So if you want the truth _

 

_ I just wanna be part of your symphony _

_ Will you hold me tight and not let go? _

_ Symphony _

_ Like a love song on the radio _

_ Symphony _

_ Will you hold me tight and not let go? _

_ Symphony _

_ Like a love song on the radio _

_ Will you hold me tight and not let go?  _

 

From backstage the rest of the troupe watched as Johnny poured his heart into his song. Ash peered around the curtain to see Buster and Ms. Crawley's reaction and noticed Ben in the back of the house. He sat forward, resting his arms on the back of the seat in front of him, with eyes half lidded and a serene smile on his face. Ash easily pictured cartoon hearts floating around his head. She elbowed Gunter to get his attention.

"Can he be more obvious? Like, wow." She smirked as Gunter chuckled, bringing his hand up to his mouth.

"Well, ja. He could, like, actually ask him out. I do not understand why he doesn't. Ben has never been lacking in the confidence before." The large pig began to do some final stretches.

"Maybe he likes him a lot and is scared of asking?" Meena glanced over their heads.

"Johnny's new song was clearly for him. That was not the song he was practicing a few weeks ago." Ash noted with a shake of her head.

"Aw, that's so sweet." Rosita smiled and then looked towards the main stage as Buster called for her and Gunter.  She patted Johnny's back as they passed each other. "That was beautiful, Johnny."

"Oh, thank you, Rosita." He smiled as he pushed the piano backstage. He spared one last look at Ben before disappearing behind the curtain. Johnny wheeled the piano to a place out of the way and sat on its bench. His heart was racing. Ben came and watched rehearsal just like he said he would. 

_ Will he say anything? Should I say something? What do I say? Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he’d be interested in me specifically. What if I’m not his type? He’s so much more put together than I am.  _

Johnny frowned and shook his head before turning his attention back to the stage to watch Gunter and Rosita’s performance. His dad’s words kept cycling through his mind. Johnny tried his best to believe there were no leagues like his dad said, but he and Ben were very different. Ben was in a completely different class. His family name carried weight, he was part of a higher level of society, he was well educated. Ben never flaunted these things, but it was still intimidating. 

Johnny’s phone chimed in his pocket and his heart swelled.

[Ben: That was beautiful. Your talents continue to impress. Well done. You’ve obviously been practicing a lot. Your show is going to be amazing if this is what the first rehearsal is like :-)]

[Thanks! youre going to come see it right? i know its your day off but it would be great if you came]

[Ben: If you want me to be there, I will be there.]

_ I definitely want you to be there.  _

“Hey Johnny. Johnny...hello?” Ash waved her hand to get his attention and smirked when he looked up in surprise. She had a solid guess at who he was texting but refrained from teasing. 

“Sorry  Ash , I was just um...I really like your new song!” Johnny gave her a smile as he neglected to finish what he was  initially  going to say. 

“Yeah, thanks. I really like yours too. Decided to change it up huh? You didn’t like the other one?”

“It’s not that I didn’t like the other one,  it  I  just...felt more inspired by this one. The song I was working on before just wasn’t clicking right, and I was thinking about it too hard, so I found a new song.” He shrugged but kept his smile. Mr. Moon’s advice had been invaluable, and he had spent a day relaxing and listening to the radio instead of practicing. That was when he came across his new song.  

“Hey, I’m into it. Speaking of new songs, I know I’m being a major pest, but could you help me with the ballad again once rehearsal is over? Ya know, if it’s not too much trouble.” 

“Yeah, of course! It’s no trouble at all! It’s been really fun!” He nodded enthusiastically. Johnny was learning a lot about songwriting while collaborating with Ash. The more they worked together, the more comfortable Johnny felt about writing his own songs in the future. 

_ I could write one for Ben. I sort of am, but this is Ash’s song, not mine. Someday, maybe.  _

\---

“Wait, wait. So, you’re tellin’ me that some people think they’re both a lady  _ and _ a bloke while other people think they’re neither?” Big Daddy stopped rinsing the dozens of plastic dishes piled in the deep sink in front of him and turned to look at Barry, who was tasked with drying them.

“Yes, that’s what I’m tellin’ you. It’s a very fluid thing for some people. C’mon, Boss, keep up the line.” Barry gestured towards the soapy dishes in the sink.

“When did all these new things show up? Are these just a bunch of things kids came up with? The weirdest thing I’ve heard of before this was transvestites.” He grabbed the hose again to get back to work.

“No, this isn’t new stuff. It’s always been a thing, but there’s just more terminology now, and people are slowly becoming more accepting. And a better term is trangender. Transvestite is very dated and can be considered offensive.” 

“Ain’t your cousin transgender?” Stan leaned forward to look down the line as he scrubbed what food remained out of the dishes before placing them in Big Daddy’s sink to be rinsed.

“Yeah, Mary. She goes by Martin now. Sorry- _ he _ goes by Martin now. He’s a lot happier these days last I heard.” Barry smiled and stacked the dry dishes on the counter next to him. 

“And you just...what, shrugged and said ‘okay’ when your cousin decided they didn’t want to be a lady anymore?” Big Daddy scowled as he tried to wrap his mind around the concept. He couldn’t fathom the desire to do so himself. 

“It’s about respectin’ people’s identity, Boss. Like callin’ people by their street name because it’s what they prefer. I mean, it’d be weird if other gangs started referring to you as Pete, right?” Stan explained, trying to give some perspective.

“That’d be right uncomfortable.” Barry nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah...yeah, okay, I guess I get that part.” Big Daddy grimaced, still unsure, but doing his best to grasp the idea. With just how convoluted the spectrum of gender and sexuality appeared to be, he was honestly grateful his son was just gay. Not that he wouldn’t put forth his best effort to understand him otherwise, but it was much easier for him to comprehend. 

\---

The sky was a dazzling blaze of red and orange as Ben leaned against the railing of the rooftop patio, watching the sunset. The city below his high-rise building was still bustling with people  leaving their day jobs to enjoy the nightlife. The sun reflected off the many towering buildings and sparkled off the ocean in the distance. He’d only taken advantage of this amenity a few times in the years he had lived in his loft, but  today  found pleasure in the minor change of routine. 

He exhaled smoke as he flicked the ashes from the end of his daily cigarette into the ash tray provided, before returning his gaze to the sun. He thought of Johnny. The singer was all he could think about. It was taking more effort to concentrate on work. If he wasn’t purposeful and fully engaged with his tasks, his mind would wander to that lovely, smiling face or become enchanted by that beautiful voice. His phone vibrated in his pocket.

[T: Hey Ben! Feeling lonely? ;)]

Ben sighed. True or not, it felt wrong to say yes. Something was different. He’d felt attraction many times in the past, but none that encompassed every spare moment of his thoughts. It was a pleasant change from his usual dark and numbing mind, but still strange and concerning. It had been weeks since he had called anyone to spend the evening with him or accepted any invitations extended to him. He stared at his phone, debating.

_ It feels like cheating. But we’re not together, so it isn’t. What does it matter?  _

He could picture Johnny’s face, disappointed and heartbroken, and it made his stomach churn. He took another drag from his cigarette and held it in his mouth as he replied.

[Not tonight. Maybe another time.]

_ What is this feeling? It’s beyond just physical. I care about his opinion of me. I care about it a lot. I want him to feel happy being associated with me. If he asked anything of me, I would make it work. Am I in love? Is this what love feels like? It reminds me of being high. I don’t know if I like it. Am I supposed to be this analytical about it? What if he finds out how fucked up I really am? Am I being deceptive? Why the fuck do I care? This is terrifying.  _

He went back through the messages between him and Johnny. Ben frowned at the piano picture he used for Johnny’s contact ID. It was suitable but an actual photo would be better. 

_ I could ask. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind or think it’s weird. I should just ask. Ask...ask him out. C’mon...man up. Just do it. It’ll only be awkward for a second if he says no. “Hey, do you want to go out to dinner sometime?” Do it. Don’t wuss out. Do it.  _

“Nielsen, you weak piece of shit...” Ben groaned loudly and put his phone back in his pocket. He threw his cigarette butt away and went back inside to the darkness of his loft.

\---

Eddie adjusted the lights according to the notes Buster had left him. The New Moon Singers had gone through their first rehearsal several times, and Eddie  had been  given the music and an approximate run time to design the show lights around. He tapped his foot to the beat as he listened to the pre-recorded music on his headset.  _ Fade at this note, strobe at the key changes, soft spotlight.  _

“Hmm. The blue or green light would soften it up and add some neat colors.” He scratched his chin as he tried to picture what the light choice would look like from the audience. He pulled the headset down to his neck and made notes over Buster’s to review with him later. He took his cellphone out to take a few photos of his mixer for the theatre’s social media pages.

“If they don’t say something to each other, I will. I can’t stand all this freaking pining.” Ash’s disgruntled voice grew louder as she and the rest of the cast crossed the auditorium to the stage. 

“Oh, don’t do that. You’ll embarrass them.” Meena whispered as she glanced around to make sure the two in question were not within earshot. 

“ _ Ja _ , there is no need to rush. Their chemistry will pull them together like the magnets.” Gunter brought his hands together with a loud clap to emphasize his point.

“Hey  guys! Who’s pining?” Eddie waved from the stage.

“Johnny and Ben.” Ash rolled her eyes. “It’s been the most frustrating thing I’ve ever had to watch.”

“Wait. What?” Eddie scrunched his nose in confusion. “No way.”

“Yes way. They keep making sappy faces at each other and being all shy about it. It’s disgusting.” Ash stuck her tongue out. “No wonder Johnny’s been such a big help writing  my  ballad.”

“I think it’s cute.” Meena smiled even as her ears wrapped around the sides of her face. 

“Is Johnny here yet? He’s usually the first one to show up.” Rosita shifted her purse on her arm and looked around the backstage area.

“Uh, yea. He’s somewhere around here. I saw his truck parked out back.” Eddie shook his head. “We talking about the same Ben? Mr. I-hate-everyone? That doesn’t make any sense at all. I think you guys are just reading  too much into stuff. Johnny’s not into Ben.”

“Twenty bucks says he is.” Ash crossed her arms and leaned on her hip.

“What?” Eddie raised a brow and then scowled as he extended his hand to Ash. “You know what, okay! Twenty bucks. I’ll even ask him myself whenever he, ya know, appears…” the sheep looked around, unsure of where Johnny might be. 

“Coffee. Coffee is nice and easy.” Johnny stood in the bathroom and held onto the sides of the sink as he gave himself a pep talk. “He doesn’t bother spending time with people he doesn’t like. He’s never thrown his money around. He’s not like that. If he says no, that’s okay because we’ll still be friends. Just focus through rehearsals and go ask him. There are no leagues.” He took a deep breath and checked his face and teeth before leaving the dressing room bathroom to meet up with the rest of his troupe. He heard their voices from the other side of the stage. 

“I’m telling you, there is no way Johnny is into Ben. Who would be into Ben?” Eddie’s voice stopped the gorilla in his tracks and Johnny ducked quietly into the shadows as he eavesdropped.

_ What?  _

“A lot of people are into Ben.” Gunter corrected with a chuckle.

“Yeah, drunk people.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “They don’t count. Ben’s not exactly a ‘relationship’ guy beyond getting drunk and going home with people.”

“How do you know? Did you ever go to the same parties?” Ash looked Eddie up and down, unconvinced.

“No, but a bunch of other people I knew did. Social circles talk. That’s why they’re called, ya know, social circles. Ben’s a player. He’s not going to be Johnny’s type at all.” Eddie stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets, confident in his side of the bet.

Johnny stayed hidden as he absorbed what had been said. In addition to the embarrassing discovery that he was a source of gossip for his friends, their words struck a concerning chord. Was it true? Was a quick fix all Ben sought out in relationships? Johnny frowned as his brows furrowed together.

_ Is that all I would be? I don’t think I’m okay with that...No, definitely not. Damnit. Now what? I mean, Eddie and Ben know each other. Ben’s friends with his grandmother! I’ll ask Gunter. He won’t lie to me. It’s not like it’s a secret anymore. _

“Okay! Is everybody here?” Buster hurried down the center aisle of the auditorium with Ms. Crawley following slowly behind him with the clipboard. “We have another group waiting for the stage in one hour so we need to hustle today!” 

\---

The New Moon Singers ran through their show twice, adjusting light settings, marking the key spots of the stage with tape and setting a goal for their run time. Buster was satisfied with the speed of the set changes to keep the audience engaged and gave his troupe shining praise once rehearsal was over and the stage became occupied by  the other  group. 

Johnny did not go to Ben’s office like he had planned earlier, and instead focused on getting a word in with Gunter. The dressing room was crowded with people going in and out and Johnny weaved between them to find his friend at the lockers. 

“ Oi , Gunter!” He raised his hand over the heads of those standing between them to get his attention. 

“Oh, hello, Johnny.” Gunter’s smile lessened seeing the concerning frown on the young gorilla’s face when  Johnny  finally reached his side. “Is everything okay?”

“Um, I dunno. Can I talk to you? Outside, maybe?” Johnny rubbed the back of his neck. Gunter just nodded and closed his locker. He followed Johnny to the backstage exit and waited patiently as he propped the door open with a sizable rock.

“Okay, what is rolling around in your brains? You look upset.” 

“It’s about Ben.” Johnny exhaled and leaned against the side of the building, fidgeting with the zipper of the hoodie he got from Ben. 

“Ah, yes.” Gunter nodded with a smile. “You have crushes on Ben, ja?”

“Ugh. Don’t say it like that, it sounds dumb.” Johnny winced and pouted as his face grew hot.

“No no! It is not dumb! It’s very sweet! So cute!” Gunter grinned and then tilted his head to get a better look at his face. “Why the sad face?” 

“Well, I heard some of what everyone was saying earlier and…” Johnny looked down at his worn shoes before glancing over at Gunter. “I trust you not to lie to me and you know Ben pretty well. Is what Eddie said true? That Ben just, ya know, sleeps around and doesn’t have relationships? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s fine for some people, but...”

“But that is not what you want?” Gunter confirmed as Johnny shook his head. The pig scratched the side of his face as he thought of what he could say. He had already promised Ben that he wouldn’t say anything regarding his feelings for Johnny. “I have never known Ben to have, like, a steady boyfriend, and he had a lot of the hook-ups, but it has been a few years since I have seen him. He is very different from what I remember, so he might be open to a relationship.” Gunter shrugged with a smile. “Or he might not. But, I do know that it is okay to ask! Communications are the most important, both in the long term and the shorter term, ja? You have to be open and honest or you both get hurt. Does this make sense?”

“Yeah, I think so…” Johnny’s frown never left and he stood in silence, pondering before his next question surfaced. “Do you think I have a chance?” His voice was quiet, as if he intended to keep it inside. 

“Aw.” Gunter pouted his lip and pressed his hands against his chest. “I do. He likes you, so that is a good sign. He stopped his own working to watch your rehearsal, ah?” He elbowed Johnny with a playful smile that formed into a wide grin when Johnny smiled shyly at the ground.

“Yeah, yeah he did. Thanks Gunter.” Johnny looked over at him. “I appreciate it.”

“ _ Ja! _ Of course! You can talk to Gunter at anytime and about anything! I am like, the very best listener.”

“I’ll remember that.” Johnny laughed and held the door open to go back inside, his mind spinning with possibilities.

\---

Big Daddy sat on his bunk  that  evening, rubbing his temples as he listened to Stan and Barry debate about yet another issue of the LGBT community. It was too much information filed into his brain too quickly for him to keep the terminology straight. 

“I  _ know  _ it’s not okay to put people in boxes, but when you’re first startin’ out learnin’ this sort of stuff it’s okay to simplify things a bit so you can understand it.” Stan skillfully shuffled his cards before dealing out three even hands.

“Sure, I get that, but it’s most important to remember that it’s all fluid and movin’. Just because someone is straight or gay today don’t mean they will be tomorrow. People can change their minds about the whole thing all together.” Barry scratched his head. “Ya know, when you think about it, none of it really matters.” 

“Wot?” Big Daddy looked up at his gang with a scowl. “What do you mean none of it really matters? You two have been goin’ on for the last two bloody days about the importance of identities, not hurtin’ feelings, and how many people have died over this shit. And now you say it don’t even matter!” He extended his arms out wide, confused and irritated. “Which is it, Barry??” 

“Uh, both?” Barry shrugged.

“I can’t tell you how much I want to punch you smack in the mouth right now...” Big Daddy inhaled sharply and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Listen, Boss, we can go on about this all day-” Stan started.

“You have.”

“But you have to understand at the end of it all it’s a very personal matter and none of it’s really anybody else’s business. Sometimes it changes, sometimes it don’t. You ain’t have to get it 100%. Just...noddin’ and saying ‘okay’ is perfectly acceptable. It’s important to them but it don’t really affect you any, right? As long as Johnny’s safe and happy, what more could you want?”

Big Daddy absorbed and pondered Stan’s words. Safe and happy were all any parent could ask for their kids. He rubbed his face with his hands and groaned. He pushed back all the excess information he had received and focused on the bottom line. He’d never seen Johnny smile quite like that.

“My son’s datin’ an accountant named Ben.” 

“Ben’s a nice name.” Barry smiled.

“Good with money, that’s a plus. Now get in on this, Boss. I want to get a few games in before lights out.” Stan rearranged the cards in his hand as Big Daddy came over to their small table to join in the game.

\---

Johnny vacuumed up the center aisle of the auditorium once the Friday matinee had come to a close. He had his work cut out for him now that the theatre was in full swing and performing shows for the public. The bathrooms needed to be cleaned twice a day, he vacuumed after every show, and tidied backstage once the performers had cleared out. 

The New Moon Singers had one more week to rehearse for their show the following weekend. Eddie needed the time to perfect the new light system, and the rest of the troupe  was very appreciative of the extra days that Mr. Moon had set aside for them in the schedule. 

Johnny smiled, feeling very confident in his song and what the show itself was beginning to look like from rehearsal. He was going to be in a proper show. He was going to get paid to sing! He didn’t expect it to be very much with the theatre costs factored in, but the very idea of making a living doing what he loved made his chest swell with pride. His dream was so close he could almost touch it. 

“Okay! It looks like we have a few minutes, so let’s set up the amp and see if we can fine tune the lighting effects Buster wants.” Eddie pushed his mixer across the stage with Ash following behind him with her guitar. 

“Hi Johnny!” She waved from the stage with a smile as he turned the vacuum off.

“Hey! Is this going to be too loud?” He pointed to the vacuum at his feet.

“Nah! I’m way louder.” The porcupine laughed and helped Eddie plug various cords into the mixer. Johnny left the vacuum off anyway and walked towards the stage to assist if needed, or  to  watch if not.

“Oh good! You are all three here!” Gunter’s voice from the auditorium doors caused Johnny to stop and look over his shoulder. The enthusiastic pig hurried down the aisle to his friends and held up three colorful tickets. “I have, in my little piggy hand, tickets for, like, the very best concert ever! My very good friend has a performance tomorrow night and gave me a whole handful of tickets to give out! It will be one big party, ja!”

“Sweet! Free concert!” Ash walked over to the edge of the stage and took the ticket extended to her. She furrowed her brows reading it before her eyes grew wide with a gasp. “You know April Sloan?! April Sloan is your friend?? I’m going! Count me in! I don’t care where it is!”

“Very good! Yes, I will introduce you!” Gunter laughed as he passed a ticket to Eddie and then  the last one  to Johnny. “Oh, and I have one more ticket here too.” He took the ticket from his jacket pocket and offered it to the young gorilla. “You take it. It is for Ben.” He winked with a grin. 

“For Ben?” Johnny stared down at the extra ticket in his hand as he slowly came to understand Gunter’s meaning. His face grew hot and his heart did a series of flips. Johnny quickly checked his watch and looked towards the lobby just as Ben was pulling the main doors open to go home for the day. With no time to waste, he ran up the center aisle to try and catch him.

“Ja! Go get him!” Gunter laughed and danced in place, unable to contain his joy.

“What just happened?” Eddie watched the exchange with a deeply confused expression.

“You just lost twenty bucks is what happened!” Ash laughed and held up her hand with a smug grin. “Cough it up.”

“Ben! Wait, wait!” Johnny pulled the glass door open in a hurry and called to the curb just as Ben took hold of the cab door. He took a deep breath to recover from his sprint and found it hard to take a second. His voice caught in his throat feeling the precipice before him. 

_ Just ask! I can always say it’s with the group if I can’t…There are no leagues. The worst thing he can say is no, and we’ll still be friends if he does.  _

“Is everything  alright ?” Ben looked him up and down, concerned, anticipating an emergency.

“Uh.” Johnny tore his eyes away and looked down at the tickets in his hand. “Yeah, just, um. Here. Gunter got everyone tickets for this concert tomorrow.” He extended the spare and watched as Ben scanned it over with his eyes. “Would you like to go with...me?”

Ben’s head shot up at the question. His heart leapt up in his throat as a wave of adrenaline pulsated through his body. He stared at Johnny, unsure of if he had heard him correctly. Those bright brown eyes he found so wonderfully bewitching stared back with pupils large and expanded despite the afternoon sun. The silence of Ben’s mind was unnerving as it went through the shock. He was still so uncertain.

“With you?” He repeated. It wasn’t clear enough. “Like a date?” Ben remained perfectly still as Johnny fidgeted nervously and avoided eye contact.

“Um, yeah? It’s okay if you don’t want to. It’s not like it’s a proper date or anything anyway. I mean, everyone else is going-I think, uh. Big crowds probably aren’t your thing anymore and it’s a concert and everything but I figured, ya know, you uh, you might still want to go. It’s okay if you don’t-”

“Sure.” 

“What?” Johnny’s eyes snapped back as his ramblings were interrupted. “Really?” 

“Yeah, it sounds like fun. I’d love to go with you.” Ben smiled brightly and kept his hold on the door, concerned he might float away into the stratosphere. 

“Great! I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow then!” Johnny grinned. “Have a good night.”

“See you tomorrow.” Ben slid into the backseat of the cab and kept his eyes on Johnny until he couldn’t turn his head around far enough to see him. He looked down at the ticket in his hand. “Holy shit…”

“Oh my god! Did my little Ben just get asked out on a date?! Is that the guy, the one you’ve been swooning over?! Wow, that was the most disgustingly adorable thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life!”

“Shut the fuck up, Frankie!” Ben couldn’t erase the smile from his face or the pounding in his heart even as the old racoon teased and cackled the entire way home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter than usual but I needed it for the flow!
> 
> Song is "Symphony" by Clean Bandit feat. Zara Larsson


	6. Climax

Chapter Six: Climax

 

“We’re going to a grunge club.” Ben scowled at his reflection in his full length mirror, surrounded by a myriad of rejected shirts and pants. He groaned loudly, unsatisfied by his current selection, and pulled his shirt off to add to the pile at his feet. 

_ I don’t know the level everyone is dressing to! Are we going full grunge? Are we going more casual? What are we doing?! If I overdo it, I’ll look like an idiot. If I don’t do it enough, I’ll look boring. Should I bring a bag with extra stuff just in case? No! That’s stupid. Where would I put it? I’m not taking a bag. Ugh! Fuck fuck fuck. He’s going to be here any minute and I’m not even CLOSE to being ready! How gay can I be?  _

“This is too boring.” He picked up a shirt and tossed it. “This one too slutty.” Another went to the pile. “I don’t-why do I even have this? This isn’t mine at all.” Ben rubbed his face with a groan before lifting his head with a gasp. “Gunter is going! Gunter will know what we’re doing!” He patted his pants to find his phone and looked at the chaos of his closet. “Damn it! Phone! Where are you?”

“I am over here.” A computerized voice called from the floor, slightly muffled by the pile of clothes. 

“Best app ever.” Ben smiled and sat on his floor to text.

[Hey Gunter. On a scale of 1-10, what level are we dressing for this grunge party?]

[Gunter: Hello Ben! :D Do not worry! I am bringing a bag to help people dress up! Are you excited?]

“Oh, thank god.” Ben let out a sigh a relief.

[Very. This should be fun. See you at the theatre.]

Gunter replied with a series of emojis and a dancing gif. Ben stood up as his phone chimed for a reminder. He silenced it without looking, painfully aware that the concert was happening tonight, and returned to the task at hand.

\---

“There. All done.” Johnny hung the air freshener from the rearview mirror of his truck. Saturday had been spent getting a head start on his custodial duties, followed by a deep cleaning of the truck. It had been sitting in the theatre’s small back lot for several weeks and had accumulated a significant amount of dirt and grime. The inside needed a deep vacuuming and airing out. Living in your vehicle left a mark, or more accurately, a smell. He left the windows cracked during the day until he could go to the nearby dollar store for supplies. After a proper wash, the truck sparkled in the late afternoon sun. 

Johnny checked his watch and hurried back inside the theatre to change his clothes. He weaved through the crowd of performers coming and going from the dressing room to reach his bag of clothes. Standing on the couch to reach the high shelf, Johnny pulled his bag down, then sat to look through his options. He unfolded a dark green shirt and held it up to get a better look at it.

“Ben?? Really?” Buster walked up to the couch and stared up at  Johnny  in disbelief. The news had come as a shock to him when Eddie had arrived at the theatre and filled him in. He knew Johnny and Ben had become friends over the last several weeks, but he  hadn’t realized it had developed into something more.

“What?” Johnny looked down at him confused. 

“You’re going on a date with Ben?”

“Oh! Yeah! I asked him yesterday and he said yes. I’m really excited.” Johnny smiled as his face grew pleasantly warm. He stood up and removed his jacket, letting it drape over the arm of the couch. 

“Yeah, okay, good...but Ben? Are you serious?” Buster let out a small laugh. “What do you see in Ben? He just doesn’t seem your type. At all. He’s so…” The koala waved his hands in circles, trying to think of the proper word. “...grumpy!” 

“Oh, he’s really not that bad, Mr. Moon. I really like Ben. He’s funny, he’s smart...” Johnny trailed off as he pulled his shirt over his head and changed into the clean one. “Just because you don’t get along with him doesn’t mean he’s not worth a chance.” He looked himself over in the dressing room mirror and smiled, satisfied. 

“Well, I guess I hope you have a good time? Though, it will be funny to see Ben at this  _ Saturn _ club.” Buster looked at the ticket and smirked at it’s dark and edgy design. “It doesn’t look like his crowd at all.”

“We’ll see.” Johnny shook his head with a smile. He had no doubts Ben would fit in just fine after getting acclimated to the party scene again. “Is that what you’re wearing?” He gestured to Buster’s bright blue suit. 

“Hmm? Oh, no. Gunter is bringing me something. I don’t have a lot of ‘grunge wear’ in my wardrobe.” 

“Fair enough. I have to go pick up Ben. We’ll be back soon.” Johnny grabbed his jacket and went out the backstage exit to his truck. 

\---

Johnny followed his phone’s GPS directions to the address Ben gave him and parked on the curb. He looked up at the bright and shining tower that was Ben’s high rise and felt a nervous twitch in his stomach. He approached the security door, scanned the resident panel until he found “B. Nielsen” and pressed the button. The speaker at the top of the panel sounded with a loud dial tone before ringing like a telephone. The security door clicked loudly when the ringing stopped.

“Come on up.” Ben’s voice was distorted by the speaker but it made Johnny smile regardless.

“Cool.” He pulled the security door open and walked inside. The lobby was shiny and modern with granite flooring and brushed nickel finishes on the mailboxes and doorknobs. He looked at the last few text messages from Ben to find his directions as he made his way to the elevator. “Floor 17...okay.” He pressed the floor button and rode the elevator up.

[Ben: The door is unlocked. Come on in. I’m almost ready.]

Johnny felt his heart pounding in his chest and swallowed nervously.

_ What am I worried about? He already said yes. No leagues. Everything’s fine. _

He exited the elevator and walked down a hallway of matching, dark colored doors. Checking his phone again to make sure of the number, he knocked at the door before slowly opening and peeking inside.

“Ben?” Johnny called out when he didn’t see him.

“Hey, come on in! I need two minutes. Make yourself at home.” Ben’s voice echoed off the walls from somewhere above him. 

Johnny stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He walked through the posh kitchen and admired the well-used appliances. Ben spent a lot of time in his kitchen, judging by his lunches. He crossed into the living room and looked up at the high ceiling. He spotted the stairs that led upwards to what was clearly a bedroom space. Johnny shook his head to clear his mind and keep himself from wondering if he’d be invited up there in the near future. 

The tall window drew his attention and he pulled the dark grey curtain back. A small gasp escaped his mouth looking out at a sea of bright and dazzling city lights against a darkening sky. 

“Wow! Look at that view!” 

“It’s nice, huh?” Ben called from his closet. He looked himself over for the millionth time. He found some measure of satisfaction in simplicity. The old shirt had been a gift from a friend many years ago.  _ Straight Outta The Closet _ written boldly across his torso in rainbow colored lettering. Its once black fabric was worn down to a dark grey and the collar and sleeves were stretched from being taken on and off many times. 

_ Well, it’s perfect for a grunge club in that regard. Still missing something…Too lacking in accessories. Gunter has accessories. I can always…Oh! Wait! _

Ben found a pair of dark rimmed glasses and put them on. He tilted his head, unsure but ultimately shrugged.

_ A little hipster but whatever. That’s as good as it’s getting. _

“You certainly don’t match.” He muttered, staring down at the silver chain and tag on his wrist and curled his lip in disapproval. He unclasped the chain and tossed the medical alert bracelet on his bed,  replacing  it with a few leather bands. 

Ben looked over the railing of his bedroom and smiled down at Johnny, who was still staring out the window. Ben descended the stairs and approached the singer, ignoring the fluttering in his chest and the tightness in his stomach. Johnny smiled at Ben in the reflection of the window before turning around. 

“I like your shirt!” Johnny laughed, reading the text. “Are you ready?” 

“Finally. Thanks for waiting.” Ben led the way out of his loft, grabbing his keys from their hook and locked the door behind them. “And for the ride.”

“Yeah, no problem. It’s a bit far to walk and there’s no need for a cab if I can just come and get you.” Johnny pressed the button for the elevator. “Your flat’s lovely. How long have you lived here?”

“About six years, I think. It’s been really good to me so far and I don’t plan on going anywhere else. I hate moving.” 

“Tell me about it. I think me and dad moved at least once a year when we first came here. There was a time where it was every few months. It didn’t make much sense to unpack for a while.” Johnny gave him a smile, despite reminiscing over one of the more difficult times of his life.

“Once a year? Why so often?” Ben’s brows raised in surprise as they stepped out of the elevator and made for the front door.

“Looking for work mostly. I was almost in high school before we got some proper footing to settle down here.” Johnny opened the passenger door for Ben and crossed around the front of the truck to get into the driver’s seat.

“It must have been hard getting through school moving so much.” Ben couldn’t fathom the chaos of being uprooted so frequently. He could imagine being in a new country was stressful enough without constantly moving.

“I managed. I finished my last two years online. It was a lot easier that way.” Johnny put the truck in gear and merged into traffic.

“Then you went to work with your dad?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” The last of the sun’s rays  had  faded as they drove to the theatre.

\---

“Gunter, are you  _ sure _ this is the right outfit for me? This, uh, this is a lot of mesh.” Rosita called from the bathroom. 

“You have to put the tank top underneath. Trust Gunter, you will be looking the very best!” Gunter smiled and looked back at his own reflection in the mirror. The faux piercing pinched at the tender flesh of his ear but it was not unbearable. He nodded in approval and turned back to where he had sent Rosita. “Okay! Are you ready? Let us see it!”

“You realize I have small children and a husband, right?” Rosita commented as she stepped out in the outfit Gunter had chosen for her. Net stockings  peeked  out of large rips in the faded jeans and a black thin-strapped tank top gave her modesty beneath the mesh top. 

“Yes! That looks so good!” Gunter clapped his hands excitedly and handed her a pair of boots. “These next! And your husband will give me many thanks. So spicy!” He looked over at the door as the rest of the cast arrived. 

“Alright, Gunter! We’re ready for costumes! Work your magic!” Buster grinned and nodded in approval at Rosita’s outfit.

“This is the best day ever!” The pig exclaimed before he dug through his bag and pulled out various articles of clothing in many different shapes and sizes. He shoved different pieces into the hands of his troupe members. “Go go! Try them on! I can make fixes if things do not fit just right!”  

The New Moon Singers found private places to change as Johnny and Ben arrived. Gunter pressed his hands against his heart at the sight of them walking side by side with such open and genuine smiles. 

“-then the door shut suddenly and I was stuck  _ inside _ the vending machine. It was very embarrassing. They had to call the fire department and everything.” Johnny beamed as Ben threw his head back laughing. 

“And you broke into it because it stole your money? For fuck’s sake. That’s amazing.” Ben took his glasses off to wipe the tears that fell from his eyes from laughing. He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so hard. It felt good, and Johnny’s childhood shenanigans were certainly laughable. 

“Johnny! Ben! I am, like, so happy for you! You are so cute!” Gunter grinned ear to ear at their shy face s . “And I love your clothes, ja! I have a whole bag of accessories on the sofa if you want to add anything!” 

“Oh, are we supposed to be dressing up or something?” Johnny looked curiously at Ben as they walked into the dressing room. Rosita was sitting on a stool by the mirror as Gunter  began  skillfully  applying  dark eyeliner and mascara to her face.

“ _ Saturn _ is a grunge club. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You look great.” Ben sat on the couch and went through Gunter’s accessory bag. “You think of everything, don’t you, Gunter?” 

“I try! I love dressing my friends up! It is so fun!” He tilted Rosita’s face for a better angle.

“Gunter put together all of the costumes for the very first show after the theatre fell. His and Rosita’s, Meena’s and parts of Ash’s too.” Johnny sat down next to Ben and tried to suppress the tightening in his stomach at the idea of them sitting on what was essentially his bed. He had gotten used to the other performers and cast members making use of the furniture but Ben was different. It wasn’t a bad feeling, but still made his heart beat faster than it should have. 

_ It’s just a couch. People sit on couches. It’s just Ben. Who I’m technically on a date with. He’s sitting on my bed.  _

“Is this shirt bleached on purpose?” Buster walked back over to Gunter in the ensemble that was put together for him. 

“Very stylish, no?” Gunter looked him up and down before nodding in approval. “That fits nicely!” 

“I disagree, but I’m putting my faith in you, Gunter. You know best.” 

The troupe spent several more minutes finalizing their outfits before attempting to load into Rosita’s van. The third row of seats were folded down to make room for Meena in the back and the rest of the party squeezed into the confined space of the second row and front passenger seat.

“Okay, you need to keep scooting down.”

“I’m as far over as I can go!”

“A family of 27 fits in here so we can figure something out.”

“Ow! Quills!”

“Sorry! Don’t push!”

“Maybe someone should sit on the floor in the front seat?”

Johnny bumped his head on the van roof as the game of vehicle tetris ended with him sitting sideways on Ben’s lap. They stared at each other in silence even as the rest of the van’s occupants continued to loudly shift and holler suggestions of how best to arrange themselves. The air around them thickened and churned as hearts beat faster and faces grew hot.

“You okay?” Ben finally asked. There was nothing but static and the faint tone of an emergency broadcast system in his mind.

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” Johnny rubbed his head with a nervous laugh.

“Eddie can you get the door closed now?” Rosita looked in her rearview mirror. The troupe cheered in victory as Eddie pulled the sliding door closed with a satisfying slam. “Good job! Okay, here we go.” 

_ Oh! Oh, we’re riding like this! Okay. That’s fine. There’s nothing awkward or weird about sitting on Ben’s lap…Oh, my god. Yes there is. I don’t think people are supposed to be this close on the first date. I mean, I don’t mind being close to Ben and he doesn’t seem to mind either...I just hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea. _

“How far away is this place again?” Ben called to Gunter in the front passenger seat.

“It should be about twenty minutes if traffic is not bad.” The pig responded, and Ben did his best to hide his irritation.

_ Twenty minutes? Ugh. Fuck, he looks so uncomfortable and I don’t know where to put my fucking hands without making it worse. Being this close is great but not if it makes things weird! You should just take a cab back so he has his own seat. Yes, good plan.  _

Gunter turned on the dome light and skillfully angled his phone to get as much of the group in the shot as he could. “Everybody say ‘Lingonberry’!” He grinned at the photo. “Looks so good! Eddie, do you want it? You could post it!”

“Yeah, great idea!” Eddie took his phone from his pocket and made several tags with the names of the troupe, Ben and himself included. “Hashtag theatre family.”

“Aw, that’s sweet, Eddie.” Rosita smiled at him in the  rearview  mirror. The group chattered away as they crossed the city and went into a different district towards  _ Saturn _ . Gunter directed her to a small gravel parking lot and they quickly poured out of the van. 

_ Saturn  _ was a two story dark brick building covered in graffiti and show posters. Flashing lights and loud rock music escaped from a long row of frosted glass windows lining the upper level. Small groups of people stood in tight circles along the side of the building, using each other for warmth against the cold as they smoked their cigarettes. 

“Over this way.” Gunter bypassed the front door completely and led the troupe around to the back of the building. He weaved through people carrying stage equipment. “Oh look! There she is! April! Hello!” 

“Oh my god, that’s actually her!” Ash grabbed Buster’s arm and shook him with excitement. “I can’t believe it!” 

“Gunter! I’m so glad you made it!” The sea otter flicked her cigarette on the ground and hurried over to the pig, exchanging hugs and cheek kisses. 

“Of course, I would not miss it! You are looking so good!” He grinned. “Oh, let me introduce you to my theatre troupe!” Gunter motioned to each individual in a line. “This is my dance partner, Rosita. Meena, Eddie is our stagehand, Johnny, managers Ben and Buster, and this is Ash.”

“Ash! Oh my god, it’s so great to finally meet you! I loved your download! Your songs fit on my gym playlist perfectly. You made that all by yourself?” April reached out and took Ash’s hand to shake as the porcupine stared at her, petrified.

“Yeah…”

“That’s so great! You did an amazing job! We should play together sometime!” 

“Yeah, okay.”

“Great!” April let go of her hand and smiled up at the rest of the troupe. “It’s so great to meet all of you! Go on inside. The bar is upstairs. We’re almost done setting up and then we’ll get this party started!” The sea otter bumped hips with Gunter and left to continue the setup. The group turned their heads towards Ash, who remained still.

“You okay there, Ash?” Buster moved into her line of sight to get her attention.

“She likes my music. She downloaded it and put it on her playlist.” Ash put her hands on her face, still recovering from the shock. “I’m dead. I’ve died and I’m in Heaven.”

“There’s a lot of cigarettes on the ground in Heaven.” Eddie commented, looking around at the scattered butts. 

The New Moon Singers filed through the back door unrestricted and walked out into a large, dimly lit room. People were making their way inside after showing their tickets to the doorman and then congregating in groups around the main floor or heading upstairs to the bar. The expansive stage took up the back wall, opposite of the main entrance. There was not a square foot of wall, floor, or ceiling space that was not covered in graffiti,  which ranged  from artistic spray paint murals to call outs written in marker. A staff member approached and offered ear plugs before moving on to another group.

“Wow. This is quite a place. I feel like they should have carded us.” Rosita looked around in awe as she adjusted the plugs in her ears.

“They probably do at the front door.” Ben adjusted his glasses as he glanced at Meena and Ash. “We’ll be fine if we behave and follow the rules.” He gestured to a large poster near the entrance. The once white poster was covered in stickers, but its message in bold black text was still legible. RULES OF SATURN: 1) Don’t be a dick. 2) See rule no.1.

“So, no keg stands for you then?” Johnny elbowed him playfully.

“Nah, maybe next time.” Ben gave him a smile. 

“I’ll be right back.” Johnny laughed and headed for the restrooms across the room. He stopped and looked between doors that were too far vandalized to distinguish gender. Johnny looked over at a staff member standing by the front door. “Does it matter which toilet you use?”

“Well, are you an anarchy symbol or a middle finger?” The staff asked with an amused smirk after glancing at the doors. 

“So, no…? Okay.” Johnny opted for the anarchy door. Patrons were adjusting makeup and accessories at the mirror or writing messages on the walls with markers provided from one of the small metal buckets between the sinks. Johnny looked at the buckets as he washed his hands. Markers, stickers, and condoms. Johnny’s face grew hot as he heard his dad’s voice in his head.

_ Keep some rubbers in your wallet… _

“Dude, just take one.” The bobcat at the sink next to him smirked when she noticed him staring at the bucket. “They’re here for taking. Just make sure the expiration date is still good.” She returned her focus to her makeup. 

“Right…” Johnny reached into the bucket, checked the packaging date, and quickly tucked it away in his pocket before leaving the bathroom. 

“Make good choices!” The bobcat’s laughter echoed off the tile as the door shut behind him. 

Johnny groaned and took a deep breath to shake off the embarrassment before looking around the room for Ben. A sizable crowd had formed on the main floor and the lack of proper lighting made it difficult to recognize his troupe. He looked for Meena and frowned at her absence. She wouldn’t leave the group in a place like this.

_ Upstairs, maybe? _

He kept to the wall to avoid the crowd as he moved for the stairs and smiled seeing Ben waiting for him at the base. The accountant waved him over when he noticed Johnny’s return.

“Everyone’s upstairs to claim a table.” Ben grabbed the railing and led the way up the stairs.

“That was my first guess. The bathrooms are assigned by either a middle finger or an anarchy symbol, by the way.” 

“Well, that’s a fun way to make things gender neutral!” Ben laughed. He was a middle finger, without a doubt. “You want a drink?” 

“I’ll take a water, thanks. This place is going to get very warm with all of these bodies.”  Johnny peered over the railing and made note of how tightly packed people were getting on the main floor. The stage crew set up the last of the equipment. Show time was fast approaching. Ben pointed out where the group was sitting and went to stand in line at the bar.

The troupe found two tables in the corner of the seating area. It was impossible to have a poor view of the stage from the upper level of the club. Ash was standing in her chair and leaning over the railing, excitedly waiting for the show. Meena and Rosita were talking about different styles of music as Eddie, Gunter and Buster were taking various photos for the internet. Johnny took a free seat just as the lights on the stage flashed and the crowd came alive and began to cheer loudly.

“It’s starting!” Ash banged on the railing with her small fists in beat with the foot stomping of the crowd below. 

“Let us go get in the mix!” Gunter pulled Rosita up from her chair and gestured for the others to follow. Ash didn’t wait before running for the stairs. “It is much better up close!” 

“I think I can see fine from up here! Have fun!” Buster waved his troupe off. Only he and Johnny remained at the tables. Ben joined them with two water cups as the music started off with a blood curdling scream. The crowd cheered loudly as prominent bass and deep rhythm from the drums joined the vocalist.

“Saturn! Let’s get wrecked!” April Sloan roared into the microphone as she began playing her guitar with the rest of her band. Her audience lifted their arms and danced at her feet. Two distinct circles started to form close to the stage. Larger animals pushed and shoved each other in the outer ring while smaller animals did the same at the center. 

“Wow, that’s a lot of voice coming out of a sea otter! I see why Ash likes her.” Ben spoke in Johnny’s ear against the volume of the music. He was very grateful for the ear plugs. 

“I think there’s a fight going on!” Buster pointed down at the floor. “Should we tell somebody?”

“That’s a mosh pit, Buster. It’s like...really aggressive dancing. They’ll be fine, but I wouldn’t join them if I were you. It’s not your scene.” Ben explained, taking a sip from his drink.

“What? You think I can’t...mosh, or whatever it’s called? You know, I think it’d be an interesting experience. Something to check off the bucket list.” Buster smiled as he scratched his chin.

“I see what you’re doing, trying to be all defiant and do exactly what I say not to just for the principal of annoying me, but I’m serious, Buster. You don’t want to do that! I’ll be checking it off your bucket list for you!” 

“It’ll be fine! I’ll be right back!” Buster hopped off his chair and hurried for the stairs.

“Despite what impressions I may have given you in the past, I don’t actually want you to die!” Ben called after him and sighed when his warning went unheard. He glanced over at Johnny, who looked all too amused. “If he’s not back in five minutes, I’ll go in and get him.”

“That’s very generous of you, Ben.” Johnny smiled and drummed his hands lightly on the table to the beat of the music. 

“I have to say this is fun. Thanks again for inviting me. Is this what you usually do for first dates?” Ben rested his cheek on his knuckles with a smile. The concert was just exceptionally loud background noise. Johnny was his main focus. His mind felt peaceful and his face was starting to hurt from smiling so much.

“Well, you’re the first one so technically, yeah.” Johnny laughed nervously. He found it embarrassing to admit, but it was honest. Johnny held onto Gunter’s advice like a lifeline. Open and honest communication. He had no talent for lying anyway and Ben deserved better than that. 

“Wait, what?  _ I’m _ your first date? Ever?” Ben stared at him, wide eyed. 

_ Oh fuck! You poor soul! I’m so sorry. Alright, no pressure. I will just forever be the “first date” story. Fuck me. Okay, don’t be an asshole. He deserves a good first date. Go back to work mode, no tasteless jokes and don’t be a lech. Don’t invite him over. Just say goodnight and see you Monday. Don’t be an idiot. _

“Is that a problem?” Johnny wasn’t offended by the question. He needed to know exactly what Ben thought of him. 

_ What am I to you?  _

“No, it’s not a problem at all! I’m just surprised. You’re so talented and kindhearted and attractive that I figured you’d have a lot of dates by now.” Ben forced his smile to stay.

_ Way to make it sound like you thought he was a slut. Just like you. Good fucking job, idiot. _

“It’s really nice of you to say that.” Johnny smiled brightly as his heart fluttered at the compliments. He worked the plastic water cup in his hands nervously. “But, no. Not a lot of dating for me. I was always working with my dad which didn’t leave much time for that and I wasn’t ever really interested in anybody anyway.” 

“What does your dad do now? Does he still have his business? I assumed he didn’t since you work at the theatre.” Ben changed the subject to avoid his self-deprecating thoughts from spilling out in the form of words. 

“Uh…” Johnny did not expect that question and had no proper answer prepared. “Well, no. Technically not.”

“Technically not?” Ben raised a brow at Johnny’s sudden change of mood. 

“Um, well. Dad is, uh…” Johnny rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “My dad’s in...prison?” He winced as he rapped his fingers on the table. 

“Oh! In prison, yeah, that’ll do it for a business.” Ben took another sip of his drink to let his mind process. 

_ Ugh, fuck! Now I’ve upset him! What do I say?? _

“Yeah. I know it’s bad, and I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I don’t do that stuff anymore. I didn’t like it and I wanted to quit but it was what the family did and for the longest time I just felt-”

“Stuck?” Ben finished the sentence. He knew that feeling to its core and it  had  sucked the life from him day by day when he worked in his family’s firm.

“Yeah.” Johnny nodded and met eyes with Ben. “Then Mr. Moon’s singing contest happened. I thought it would be a perfect way to show my dad that I wanted to do something different and be successful. As you know, it didn’t quite work out that way.” He cracked a smile thinking of the disaster.

“What does your dad think of your singing?”

“He was upset at first, but he’s come around. I see him every Thursday and we usually talk about what’s going on in the theatre, what shows are coming up and stuff. He’s been really supportive about it.” Johnny felt a stinging in his eyes. “I wish he could see the show. He tried for the first one but he didn’t make it in time for my set. It’s alright though. He had, uh, a long way to run.” 

“Wait…” Ben scowled and then his eyes widened with terrifying realization. “Is your dad the guy that escaped from the prison by tearing the wall out..? That was in the papers?”

“Yeah?” Johnny smiled nervously.

“That’s your- _ that’s _ your dad?! That’s your dad, wow.” Ben brought his cup to his mouth.

_ OKAY. Wow. That guy’s like 8 feet tall and just as wide! I never felt so physically inadequate before. This shit is like out of a movie when the guy wants to ask a girl out but her dad’s on the porch with a shotgun. And Johnny’s dad doesn’t even need gun! Fucker tore the wall out of the prison! _

“That was the same night as the first show...is that why he broke out of prison? To see you perform?” Ben stared at Johnny’s anxious face as he put the puzzle pieces together in his mind. The singer smiled and nodded.

“We had a big fight and weren’t talking. He saw part of it on the news and he came to patch things up.” Johnny shrugged and rubbed his face with his hands. “Life stories and dark secrets probably happen on the second date, huh? I’m so sorry, Ben.”

_ Well, I ruined that. He’s never going to look at me the same way again... _

“For what? That’s the most touching story I’ve ever heard. Your dad must love you a lot. It’s a great thing.” Ben smiled at the warmth in his chest even as the poison of his mind began to course through him. He felt filthy sitting next to Johnny. The singer had more strength of character than Ben could fathom. He was beautiful, kind, brave and noble. 

_ You’re not good enough for him. You’ll break his heart and ruin him. You’re trash. _

“You sure? It doesn’t bother you? I didn’t mean for all that to just spill out like that.” Johnny shrunk in his chair some. 

“No, no it doesn’t bother me. How could it? You’re amazing.” Ben cherished the smile he got in response. “I think it’s been long enough. I’m going to go see if Buster made it out alive.” He stood up as Johnny laughed and walked for the stairs. His expression dropped once he was out of sight and he sighed. He pushed his thoughts into the back of his mind to focus on maneuvering through the crowd. Ben spotted the New Moon Singers but did not see Buster among them. 

He grumbled and brought his arms up to guard his face as he started pushing his way through the outer circle of the mosh pit. Ben dodged and redirected limbs of other people as he was shoved and jostled about in the mass. He found the edge and looked at the pit of smaller creatures moshing furiously.

“Anybody seen a koala?!” Ben brought his hands up to his mouth to shout.

“This koala?” A booming voice from the outer ring called back as a rhino held a very disoriented Buster up above the crowd.

“Yep! That’s the one! Thank you! I’ll take that!” Ben carefully stepped around the smaller creatures until he was able to get close enough to reach out for Buster. He tucked him protectively under his arm as one might a football and pushed his way back out of the pit.

“Whew! Tha-thank you, Ben! That was...that was insane! People do this for fun??” Buster put his hands on his head to stop the room from spinning as Ben set him down on the stairs. 

“Yep. They sure do. Congratulations on surviving your first mosh. Go on upstairs and take a break. I’ll be right back.” Ben walked into the bathroom designated by the middle finger and rested his hands on the edge of the sink. The pounding music was muffled slightly by the walls, giving him enough solace to try and sort through his thoughts and feelings. He splashed cold water on his face and took a deep breath. Ben stared at his reflection in the mirror.

_ You could try NOT being a pathetic asshole. You could focus on making him happy. If he’s happy, you could be happy, right? That would be enough. He already fucking likes you for whatever reason, and that’s the hard part! Just give him whatever he wants and help his dreams come true. You have connections. You can pull strings. He deserves every bit of it even if you don’t deserve him! Stop being so selfish! If you try hard enough and put in the work, you could make him happy. Just put your shit behind you and focus on him! Move on! Finally move on, let it the fuck go and focus on what’s in front of you! _

“I could make him happy…” Ben whispered and opened his eyes, not realizing he had clenched them shut. He stared at his reflection again as he took a series of deep, focused breaths to lower his heart rate. He nodded slowly. “I can do it…”

“Hi Ben!” A female gorilla opened the door of the bathroom, dressed for a fancy dinner rather than a grunge club. Her practiced smile did nothing to hide the anger in her grey eyes. “Long time, no see, asshole!”

“Oh, fuck me! What are you doing here?” Ben scowled deeply and took a step away from the sink.

“Well, I thought I’d come to see how my brother’s doing on his fucking date! Johnny seems really nice. What’s he see in you?” Her words struck a chord, causing Ben to flinch.

“What is your fucking damage, Amelia? How did you even-”

“Find you?” She held up her cellphone, the photo Gunter took in the van on the way to the club  shining  brightly on its screen. “I’ve been following your theatre’s Instagram since it went up. You should really pay more attention to things like this, Ben. My question is: did you  deliberately  avoid us today, or were you so distracted chasing ass that you forgot?”

“Forgot what?” Ben held his arms out defensively. 

“Oh, my god. You forgot. Are you serious? How old are you? I can’t believe this! Wait, yes I can!” Amelia shoved her phone back in her purse as her smile broke into a scowl. “It’s Mother’s birthday, you shitbag! I know you hate everybody, but we’re still your fucking family, and I thought you at least had some decency for the important dates! You have no idea how heartbroken she is that you didn’t even call! What am I going to say to her? ‘Sorry Mother, Ben forgot all about you because he’s out getting laid’!”

“Amelia! Stop! I’m sorry! I’ll call her tomorrow!” Ben balled his hands into tight fists to try and keep them from shaking. He was no stranger to conflict with his family, but his sister had him on the ropes.

“The fuck you will! Maybe I should talk to Johnny. You know, dates judge men based on how they treat their family, specifically their mothers. Did you know that? Probably not. Why would you?” Amelia crossed her arms as she burned daggers into her brother with her eyes. “It probably doesn’t matter what I say to him. He’s just another notch in your belt anyway.”

“Don’t-don’t talk about him like that. Don’t you dare…” Ben found it hard to breathe and his heart pounded in his temples. 

“Oh, why not? Is it not true?” She gasped quietly. “Oh...you actually like this one. And he likes you? Wow, you tricked him good, didn’t you? It’s going to fuck him up when he finds out what you’re really like.”

Ben exhaled what air was left in his lungs as his sister’s words stabbed and twisted into his mind. He shook under her stormy gaze and felt his body go numb. He used what remainder of strength he had to push  past  her and out of the bathroom. He pushed through the crowd and left through the closed exit. The cold air came as a shock from the heat of the club and gave him enough focus to pull out his phone and call for a cab as he walked down the sidewalk, away from  _ Saturn _ .

\---

Johnny searched the club from top to bottom for Ben to no avail. He asked his troupe members and finally the staff. The doorman told him he saw someone of Ben’s description leave and Johnny went outside. He checked with the smokers outside and searched the van. Still no Ben.

[Hey where are you are you alright]

Johnny sat on a bench outside the club and stared at his phone, desperately waiting for a response that did not come.

_ What happened? Did I scare him off? Was it too much? Did he change his mind?  _

[please answer im worried about you]

[Ben: not feeling well. Went home.]

“What? No...no, you would’ve said something if you were sick.” Johnny muttered quietly to himself. He started typing the many questions that plagued his mind but sighed and deleted them all. He needed to see Ben’s face. He couldn’t have this conversation over text.

[Ok i hope you feel better soon see you monday]

No response came. He sat on the bench for the rest of the evening, trying to decipher where their date went wrong and what he said to upset Ben. He said he wasn’t bothered by the things Johnny had told him. They were clearly a surprise to him. Maybe it was too much. Johnny sighed sadly and watched the cars pass on the road.

“Whew! What a blast! Isn’t she amazing?” Ash bounced excitedly as the troupe shuffled out of the club. She spotted Johnny on the bench and waved. “There you are! We thought you and Ben were off mackin’ in the van!” She laughed and looked around for the second gorilla. “Where is Ben?”

“He went home.”

“Went home? Why?” Rosita tilted her head, confused. A wave of concern passed through her seeing the look on Johnny’s face. She exchanged glances with Gunter.

“He said he wasn’t feeling well.” Johnny pushed himself up from the bench and tucked his phone in his jacket pocket. 

“Oh, that’s too bad. Are you ready to go?” She put a hand on his arm and led the way back to the van. The ride back to the theatre was quiet and sleepy. Rosita gave Meena, Ash and Gunter rides home while Eddie drove his own car, leaving Johnny and Buster at the theatre. The koala looked up at Johnny.

“You okay?” His voice was soft, but prying, and he frowned when Johnny shook his head. 

“I can’t figure out what went wrong. Everything was fine. He left without a word. If he was really sick, he would have said something, anything... I don’t understand.” Johnny looked at his phone again and sighed at the lack of messages. “What do I do?” He shifted his gaze over to Buster, looking for any advice or words of comfort he could give.

“Get through the rest of the weekend and talk to him on Monday. Calm down, let him calm down, and talk it out on Monday. Focus on the show.” 

“The show? Mr. Moon, I can’t sing that song…” Johnny’s eyes began to burn and tingle at the thought as he struggled to keep his voice from cracking.

“We’ll figure it out tomorrow, okay? Let’s get some sleep.” Buster lightly pulled at the sleeve of Johnny’s jacket to lead him inside. The moon was full and bright in the sky, reflecting green off the eyes hidden in the shadows.

\---

Ben stared at himself in the mirror, as he  had done  all day Sunday. Back were his more boring suits and the dark circles under his eyes. He checked his watch and sighed. It was time to go to work. It was time to face him.

“It’s better this way…” Ben muttered as he tore his eyes away from the mirror and grabbed his things before heading down to catch his ride to work. Ignoring Frankie’s morning remarks shut the old cabbie up. He didn’t push or prod for information and dropped Ben off at the theatre without a word. 

Ben felt his breath still when  he found  Johnny waiting for him in his office. The singer was wearing his own clothes, old torn jeans and worn shirt beneath his leather jacket.

“You’re here early.”

“Can we talk? Please?” Johnny stood up from the chair. “What happened? Are you mad at me? Was it something I said?”

“No, Johnny, I’m not mad at you. I just wasn’t feeling well and I had to go.” Ben moved  past  him while keeping his gaze  averted . If he were to look at those sad brown eyes, he’d be a goner. 

“C’mon Ben, don’t do that. You would’ve said something if you were sick. Please, talk to me. What did I do? I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong…” Johnny  had  practiced and prepared for this conversation all Sunday but it did nothing to keep his hands from shaking. 

“It was nothing you did. I promise.” Ben kept his eyes averted and they stood in suffocating silence.

_ It’s better this way… _

“I hope someday you can tell me the truth.” Johnny frowned deeply and left the office, closing the door behind him. 

“I’m so sorry…” Ben sat at his desk and rested his head in his hands. 

\---

The morning dragged on miserably into the afternoon. The rest of the New Moon Singers arrived for rehearsal and Ben paid them no mind as he forced himself to focus on the numbers. He was numb and productive, just as he had been at his family’s firm. He put together a stack of papers that required Buster’s signature and walked them over to the adjoining office.

“Ms. Crawley, will you make sure Mr. Moon signs these today?” 

“Of course, Mr. Nielsen.” The old lizard took the papers from his hands.

A flash of green and yellow caught Ben’s eye as he was walking back to his desk. Four leopards in green jackets he had never seen before prowled through the lobby and into the auditorium. Their presence sent a chill through him and he scowled deeply.

_ This isn’t good... _

“Okay everybody! Nana is stopping by this afternoon! She’s going to watch the rehearsals for the rest of the week! I want everyone ready in two minutes so we can run through it before she arrives!” Buster walked quickly through the backstage area to get his troupe into position. He spotted Johnny sitting at the piano and staring at the keys, just as he had left him an hour ago. “Johnny? Johnny, listen, I know you’re going through a hard time right now but you have to pull it together, okay?”

“I’ll do my best, Mr. Moon.” Johnny didn’t look up from the keys.

“That’s all I can ask. Two minutes. Get the piano in place, will you?” 

Johnny sighed after Buster left and forced himself to stand and push the piano from the practice room. His mind was fuzzy and his heart in shambles. There was no way he could perform the song he chose. He chose it for Ben!

_ And he hates me now. I wish I understood why...and now I have to sing this song because I didn’t prepare anything else, and if I switch it now it will mess up the whole show! We’d have to change the light set and the run time. Ugh, can this day get any worse? _

“Johnny boy!” Raze’s voice echoed through the auditorium and Johnny’s heart jumped up into his throat.

“No...Oh, no no no…” Johnny ran to the stage, worried the leopard had someone in his grasp. His hands shook seeing the four of them prowl up the main aisle. Buster looked between him and the Emerald Crew in shock.

“Johnny, what’s going on?”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Moon…” The young singer’s voice was full of sorrow. This would be his last day at the theatre. Even if he escaped from the Emeralds again, he could never return here and put his friends at risk.

“We’ve been looking all over for you, kiddo. Let’s go for a walk, huh?” Raze unsheathed his claws and raked them across the velvet chairs, tearing the fabric. 

“Okay, okay! Just...stop.” Johnny’s shoulders fell in defeat as he walked down the stage steps. The troupe watched in fear and confusion from the stage. Johnny didn’t look back even as Raze shoved him in the middle of his crew so he couldn’t run. He couldn’t  bear to see the looks on their faces.

\---

“Ms. Crawley, I need you to listen carefully and do exactly as I tell you.” Ben took off his jacket and tie, tossing them to the floor without care. 

“Yes, Mr. Nielsen.” Ms. Crawley took a pad of paper and a pen to write down her instructions.

“Call the police. Tell them that four leopards are trespassing on the property. They appear to be part of a gang and are acting aggressively towards staff members and are threatening violence.”

“Oh dear, y-yes sir.” Her face drooped in a worried frown but wrote  everything down word for word.

“Tell them you need an ambulance for an adult male gorilla. Approximately 274-okay 280 pounds. Probably experiencing cardiac distress.” He rolled up his sleeves and put his hands on the desk to look the old lizard in the eye. “Finally, when I leave this room, you lock the door and do not come out until Mr. Moon or the police say you can. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir. Is everything going to be alright?” She frowned up at him as she lifted the phone from the receiver.

“We’ll find out.” Ben shut the office door and listened for the lock to click before crossing the lobby to stand in the way of the main entrance, just at the leopards left the auditorium. He met eyes with Johnny and watched as the singer gasped quietly.

_ I may not deserve you, but I won’t let this happen.  _

“Outta the way, Poindexter!” Rip snarled. 

“For legal reasons, I have to inform the four of you that you’re trespassing and being asked to leave. Leave him here and do not come back here again.” Ben remained still and stoic despite the adrenaline steadily pulsating through his body. He didn’t flinch when the Emeralds laughed.

“Is this guy serious?” Talon snickered before his scowl returned. “Move, fool!”

“No.” 

“Ben, don’t.” Johnny shook his head, horrified at the thought of Ben suffering at the hands of the Emeralds. They were brutal and ruthless, and no mercy was shown to those who stood in their way. Even with extensive training and a strong body, Ben stood no chance against the four of them at once. Johnny felt his heart twist itself in knot when the accountant’s gaze was directed at him. Ben’s face softened despite the flames in his eyes. 

“No…”

“Aw, isn’t that cute? Rip, get rid of him. We have shit to do.” Raze waved his hand dismissively.

“Alright, tough guy! Let’s see what you got!” Rip leapt forward several feet to close the distance and landed a punch against the side of Ben’s face with a crack that made the onlookers wince.  Ben’s  glasses went flying and skittered across the lobby.

His head throbbed instantly and pain radiated from his cheek but it was not the first time Ben had been punched in the face. He doubted it would be the last before the next few minutes were over. He clenched his hand into a fist tight enough to pale his knuckles. Using the momentum of the blow, Ben spun and drove his fist into Rip’s stomach with all his might.

Caught off guard, the leopard had no time to react, and the wind left from his body in one gasping breath. Rip brought his hands up to defend himself, but a skillful sweep of Ben’s arm left him open and exposed to  a  rapid onslaught of hard body blows.

_ Nailgun. Centerline strikes. Groin. Stomach. Solar plexus. Throat. Chin. _

Rip fell and did not get back up. Ben took a deep breath in through his nose and out his mouth to calm his nerves and try to steady his pounding heart. Through his periphery he saw Buster close the door to the auditorium.

\---

“Everybody out the back! Hurry! Leave your stuff and go!” Buster ushered and urged his performers along after securing the lobby door. He made a mental note to thank Ben for his constant nagging regarding the company’s new emergency policies.

“What about Ben and Johnny?” Ash ran backstage towards the exit. 

“We can help them by staying out of the way and calling the police!” Buster counted heads and felt his stomach drop. “Where’s Ms. Crawley?”

“In the office?” Eddie waited for Buster at the door.

“Oh, I hope she had the sense to hide!” He hurried after the group and took his phone from his pocket. 

“If we all call will they show up faster?”

“I don’t think it will hurt anything!”

\---

Raze and his boys stared at their unconscious brother in shock and turned their furious gazes back to Ben, who returned back to his position between them and the door. 

“What was your name again? Ben what?” Raze squinted his eyes suspiciously.

“Ben Nielsen.” The accountant responded. 

“Wow. Stonefist Nielsen. I made a lot of money betting on you. You were hot shit a few years  a go until you pussed out of that championship fight.” Raze scoffed.

“I bet you lost some money on that one.” Ben raised his arms to guard as Talon and Fang split from the group and slowly stalked on either side of him. He shifted his gaze to all three threats. 

_ Keep him talking. Keep them separated. Buy more time. _

“A lot, actually.” Raze swept his leg behind Johnny’s knees, causing the singer to fall on his back, and stepped on his chest to keep him pinned to the ground. “Tear him apart!”

“Get off me!” Johnny struggled, but to no avail. Raze pressed his foot down harder until Johnny stopped trying.

Ben caught Fang  mid-pounce and flung him across the room. He turned, hoping to face Talon before the black leopard attacked, but wasn’t quick enough.  Talon’s  arms wrapped around Ben’s neck in tight lock. Alarms sounded in Ben’s mind at the crushing pressure against his throat.

He  tightly gripped  Talon’s arm and shifted his body into a better position before p lanting  both of his feet on the ground. He bent his knees in a deep squat and jumped, taking the surprised leopard with him into the air. Ben rotated his shoulders to spin the two of them as they came crashing down to the ground. Talon felt a rib pop as he was crushed between the gorilla’s weight and the hard floor.

Ben rolled away in time to dodge and block a series of punches and swings from Fang. His heart was pounding rapidly in his ears and ached in his chest. It was hard to catch his breath, despite his training, and he felt the energy quickly draining from his body. 

_ I need to get rid of one of you, and now! _

He closed the distance unexpectedly and wrapped his arms tightly around Fang’s neck. The leopard gasped and choked in Ben’s grasp.  A  sickening sound of tearing flesh was  accompanied  by Ben’s cry of agony as Fang clawed at the gorilla’s forearm in an act of desperation. 

Ben released him and backed away quickly. Blood ran down his arm and off his fingertips, staining the carpet a deeper shade of red. He watched Fang collapse on the floor, clutching his throat and coughing and turned just in time to see the metal trash can before it struck him in the face.

Ben heard only a loud ringing and the sound of his own panicking heartbeat. His vision went white and then doubled as he fell to the ground. The world spun around him and nausea went through him in waves as he tried to force his body to stand ,  only  to be  struck back down again. And again. And again. He brought his arms up to shield his head and curled his body into a ball as his only form of defense.

“Get him on his feet!” Raze pointed a clawed finger in Johnny’s face. “Don’t you fucking move!” The large leopard strode across the lobby as his two remaining brothers hoisted Ben up by his arms. 

The blows were devastating despite Ben’s efforts to tighten his muscles and brace for the impact. What little air there was left in his lungs was forced out, along with a hack of blood from his mouth. 

“How’s it feel to be a hero, Nielsen?” Raze lifted Ben’s head so he could look him in the face. He scoffed at Ben’s unfocused gaze. “You should’ve moved when we gave you the chance. Now, you’re gonna pay for what you did to Rip.” 

“Leave him alone!” Johnny jumped as high as he could and wrapped his arms around Raze’s neck, his feet dangling off the ground. He held tightly as the leopard took several steps away from the fight. His tough jacket spared his arm the fate of Raze’s claws. 

“You little shit!” The leopard roared in fury as he flipped Johnny over his shoulder and punched him in the face. He loomed over the singer where he fell to the ground. “You know what? I’ve changed my mind! I don’t need you to find your old man’s stash! You’ve been an annoying piece of shit, and I’m done with you!” 

From somewhere deep in his soul, a fire ignited in Ben watching Johnny fall. The accountant used his anger as fuel to push his body into motion. He spat the blood from his mouth into Fang’s face and pulled his arm out of his grasp enough to strike Talon in the eyes. His rigid hand came down on the side of Fang’s neck and the leopard was out. Talon clawed blindly at Ben’s arm and torso as he yanked himself out of his grasp and charged Raze from across the lobby. The two slammed into the auditorium doors and the wood cracked in distress. 

“Don’t you ever touch him again!” Ben spat in rage as he used what strength he had to pin the Emerald leader down even as his vision began to tunnel in shades of red and black. The two roared and growled as they grappled, but it was Raze who got the upper hand. He maneuvered around his weakened opponent and brought his foot down on the outside of Ben’s knee. There was a pop and a scream before he threw the gorilla into the concession stand.

“HA! Did you actually think you could win?” Raze bellowed as he watched Ben slump, motionless on the ground. The sudden sound of sirens caused the leopard to whip his head around in time to see the flashing red and blue lights from the theatre’s glass doors. A team of officers were on the sidewalk and approaching quickly. A gentle snickering from the floor by the concession stand caused Raze to growl lowly.

“I...wasn’t trying to... _ win _ .” Ben coughed out. He spat and then smirked up at the leopard. “Have fun...in prison…”

“You son of a bitch!” Raze stormed across the lobby and clawed Ben’s face as his final strike before being prompted tackled by the police. 

“Oh god! Oh god! Ben Ben Ben!” Johnny weaved around people as the room was flooded by the police as they struggled with apprehending the two conscious leopards. He fell on his knees by Ben’s side and looked at him, horrified seeing his injuries up close. “Oh, my god, you’re bleeding everywhere! We need to get you to the hospital! Are you fucking insane?!” His voice cracked as he shouted and tears welled up in his eyes. 

“Ms. Crawley!” Buster entered the lobby, skillfully avoiding the police as they hauled the Emerald Crew away. He knocked loudly on the door. “Ms. Crawley, are you in there?” He let out a sigh of relief as a large round eye peeked through a crack in the door. “Thank goodness...” He turned his head to the street. “Oh good! The ambulance is here! That was fast.”

“Oh yes, Mr. Nielsen had me call one for an adult male goril- Oh! Mr. Nielsen!” Ms. Crawley brought her hands up to her mouth in horror, ignoring her eye as it popped out of the socket. Johnny continued to yell as he assisted a police officer in applying pressure to Ben’s wounds.

“What were you bloody thinking, you yankee bastard! Fighting four leopards! At once! By yourself! I don’t care how good you are, you can’t win that fight! Why would you do that?!”

The kiss came without warning as Ben reached for the side of Johnny’s face, fingers curling firmly around the back of his jaw. In that moment, the two went deaf to the chaos of the lobby. Breaths were taken away and minds went blank. They stared at each other after lips parted.

“I...I hope...you know CPR…” Ben wheezed out before his eyes rolled back into his head and the world went dark.

“Ben? BEN!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! My longest chapter so far and up several days early so the lot of you aren't waiting an extra week for me to get back from vacation!
> 
> Enjoy! :D


	7. Resolution

Chapter 7: Resolution

 

The scene played in his mind over and over again as he sat in the hospital waiting room. Raze and the Emeralds had found him at the theatre. He surrendered and went with them, certain of his fate. Ben stood stubbornly between them and the front door, refusing to let them pass even when threatened. Even when Johnny pleaded, Ben didn’t move. He fought valiantly despite being outnumbered. Bloody, bruised, and broken, he didn’t stop until the police arrived on the scene to finish the task. 

They kissed. 

Ben’s body finally failed and he fell unconscious on the carpet that was quickly staining with his blood. 

“Ben? BEN!” Johnny reached forward and grabbed fistfuls of Ben’s shirt to ease his descent to the floor. “Oh god, no no no! Please, wake up!” He shook him to try and wake him. The police officer stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder. The rhino looked the unconscious gorilla over with a trained eye.

“He’s not breathing.” The officer pressed his finger against the side of Ben’s neck. “All right, get out of the way.” He pushed Johnny away before quickly adjusting Ben to lay flat on his back and began pressing his hands down on Ben’s chest in rigid, rhythmic compressions. “We got a code blue over here!”

_ He’s not breathing. _

_ He’s not breathing. _

_ He’s not breathing. _

Johnny felt sick as the words echoed in his mind and burned in his heart. He was pushed further away when the ambulance crew rushed in and surrounded Ben. Johnny couldn’t see him through the police officers and paramedics crowding around until they hoisted Ben onto a gurney and rushed him out to the ambulance. 

“Where are they taking him?” Johnny’s voice cracked as he called after the paramedics. 

“The hospital.” 

“Which one?! There’s like six in this city! Oh, forget it!” Johnny pushed passed the crowd and sprinted to the back lot, ignoring the shouts of the police and his friends. His hands shook as he forced his keys into the ignition and started his truck. He followed the sirens for a block before he saw the ambulance and kept right on its tail, ignoring red lights and honking horns as he did. 

He parked his truck in the closest spot he could find and ran into the emergency department of North General Hospital. He looked around for any sign of Ben before hurrying to the reception desk.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for someone who was just brought in. Ben Nielsen. Please, I have to find him!” Johnny placed his dirty hands on the counter.  As the zebra at the desk consulted her computer, Johnny saw a  nurse use a key card to open a  nearby  set of double doors,  through which  he spotted the ambulance crew moving quickly down the hallway. He  glimpsed  a flash of brown fur upon the  gurney  they were pushing. “There they are!”  

“Sir, you can’t go back there!” The receptionist’s voice fell on deaf ears as Johnny slipped through the doors before they closed. He didn’t make it far before the nurse he  had  followed stopped him in the hallway.

“Hey, you can’t just barge in here! You have to go wait in the waiting room until someone allows you back!  It’s not safe,” he firmly explained as he started herding Johnny back towards the doors.

“No, please! I’ll stay out of the way, I promise! This is all my fault! I need to stay with him!”

“Someone will call you back when you’re allowed! Don’t come through these doors otherwise.”

“Wait no-!” Johnny pressed his hands against the doors that closed and locked with a loud bang. He clenched his eyes shut as he sighed in defeat and rested his head against the cool metal door. “No…” A gentle hand on his shoulder drew his attention and he met the kind gaze of the receptionist.

“He’s in good hands now. Why don’t you get cleaned up and I’ll take your name down to give to the nurses so they know to look for you, hm?” The zebra smiled softly and directed Johnny to the nearest bathroom. 

He winced when he finally got a look at himself in the bathroom mirror. His shirt and jeans were soiled with blood. Ben’s blood. The once small holes in the knees of his jeans were gaping to the seams and the sleeve of his favorite jacket was torn, nearly shredded. His left eye was starting to bruise and swell. Topping all of that off with a layer of dirt and sweat, Johnny was an absolute mess. He sighed and washed his hands thoroughly, taking time to clean the dried blood from under his nails. He washed his face and took large handfuls of water from the sink to soothe his dry throat. There wasn’t anything he could do about the state of his clothes without going back to the theatre, an idea that he found out of the question. 

Johnny left his name with the receptionist, who promised to forward it to the staff behind the secure doors, and found a seat in the waiting room. 

And he waited. 

And waited.

He didn’t look up or speak to anyone as he sat growing numb, recalling all that had happened, until a familiar voice brought him out of the nightmare.

“Johnny?” Buster waved his hands in front of Johnny’s face to get his attention and offered a sympathetic smile. “Hey. You okay?” 

Johnny could only shake his head. 

“Do you have an update on Ben?” The koala’s voice was soft and calm.  Johnny anchored himself to the sound as he shook his head again. Buster nodded, understanding, and climbed up in the seat next to him. “Everything will be alright. I don’t know a single person more stubborn than Ben. He’ll tough this out and be on his feet in no time, you’ll see.” 

Johnny said nothing even as a small cloven hand slipped its way into his. Rosita sat on the other side of him.

“We’re all here with you, Johnny.” She gave his hand a squeeze. Johnny looked up to see everyone from the theatre taking seats next to him. Their presence around him brought minute peace to his mind, just enough to keep him from crying.

_ Hashtag theatre family. _

“Thanks guys…” 

\---

The waiting would have been unbearable if he had been alone. As the hours went by, the theatre troupe did their part in offering ways to keep Johnny’s mind occupied and kept it from sinking into the dark corners of his imagination. Ash and Eddie shared funny videos on their phones. Meena brought him snacks from the vending machines near by and Rosita always knew when he needed a hand to hold.

“Johnny?” A young grizzly bear in nurse scrubs called from the double doors, looking around the waiting room. Johnny practically lept to his feet as his heart lurched up into his throat. 

“That’s me!” He searched her face for hints of Ben’s condition and felt the weight instantly melt from his shoulders when she smiled. 

“I thought so. Mr. Nielsen is doing much better now. He’s been asking about you. Would you like to come back and see him?”

“Can we come?” Ash got up from her chair and started following Johnny across the waiting room. The rest of the troupe rose to their feet to do the same. “We’re here for Ben too.”

“Um…” The nurse looked at the sizable group.  “You can all come to see him but you can’t all stay. We’re not supposed to have this many people in the rooms longer than a few minutes. It’s a safety thing.” 

“That’s fine. We just want to check on him and wish him well.” Rosita stood beside Johnny.

“Okay. Follow me.” The nurse held the door open for the troupe before leading them down seemingly identical hallways.  Everything was colorless and eerily sterile. Beeps and alarms sounded in some of the rooms but their guide didn’t seem worried about them. She took them down a quieter hallway. The lights were dimmed down and people spoke in hushed tones. “This is the recovery wing. Mr. Nielsen is going to be here for a few days so we can make sure he stays stable enough to go home. He’ll have frequent visits with the cardiologist for several months,  which  we can get scheduled while he’s here.”

“Cardiologist? That’s a heart doctor, right?” Johnny looked at the nurse to make sure he was hearing her right. “Did Ben have a heart attack?”

“He did. A moderate one. To put it on a scale of one to ten, about a five or a six. The trauma from the altercation complicates his care, but the doctor believes he’s through the darkest part. It’s going to be a long recovery with his eye and his knee, so we’re taking it little by little.”

“Mr. Nielsen had a heart attack? Oh, my god...” Meena’s voice cracked from the back of the group.

“What happened to his eye? Did he lose it or something?” Ash jogged a bit to catch up to the nurse. 

“He didn’t lose it, but it’s too soon to tell just how damaged it is.” She stopped at a door at the end of the hallway. “Just to warn you though, he’s on a lot of medications so he might be acting a little loopy.” She knocked on the door and opened it for the group to enter.

Johnny’s breath caught in his throat. Ben laid propped up in a hospital bed with a large bandage around his head  that covered  his eye. His arm was wrapped in gauze from his wrist to his elbow and  supported by  a sling. His leg was propped up at the knee and held in place with a sturdy brace. Several of his fingers were splinted together, and he was secured to a number of machines whose purpose Johnny didn’t understand. It was the smile on Ben’s face that struck Johnny the most.

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you!” Ben’s voice was groggy, but undeniably chipper. 

“Is that right?” A short laugh escaped Johnny’s mouth despite the pain in his heart as he approached Ben’s bedside. He gripped the metal bed rail to keep his hands from shaking as he avoided looking Ben in the eyes. “It’s probably dumb to ask how you’re  feeling,  huh?”  

“Oh, I’m good! Fan-fucking-tastic, babe. They-they hooked me up with the best morphine in the house. It’s good shit, man. It’s top shelf. I’m-I’m...yep. I’m so, Johnny, I’m so high as a fuckin’ kite right now and it’s the best. I’m so good. I feel nothing. This is this is gonna, it’s gonna suck tomorrow though. It’s the worst coming down. They won’t let me take any home! I guess that’s how you get heroin addicts or something. I dunno. I mean, I get it! I totally understand why people get addicted to this stuff, dude. It’s incredible, like, fuck, I dunno…” Ben’s rambling trailed off as he stared at Johnny and took notice of the swelling around the singer’s eye. He brought his hand up to Johnny’s face. “They got you...fuckers. Are you okay? You should put ice or whatever on that.”

“It’s really not that bad. Don’t worry about it.” Johnny took Ben’s hand from his face and held it tightly with two hands. He frowned at the torn skin of Ben’s knuckles as he tried to come up with something he could say to him. 

“Glad to see you’re in good spirits, Ben.” Buster climbed on a chair on the other side of the bed and smiled. “Your emergency policies really came in handy.” 

“Oh. Everyone’s here. Hello everyone.” Ben greeted the group he hadn’t noticed when they first entered. “Wait, you actually read the policy?”

“Of course I did. You left all sorts of weird mid-paragraph signature spots to make sure I read it word for word. You tested me on it, remember?” 

“I do not, but good! See? I told you. They’re important, Buster. I don’t write policies because I’m bored. I have enough shit to do. Also, I’m not coming in tomorrow. They’re keeping me prisoner until, I dunno, forever maybe.”

“We can manage until you’re in full health again. Don’t stress about it, okay?” The koala put a hand on Ben’s shoulder before hopping down from the chair. 

The rest of the troupe took turns in giving Ben their well wishes. Ash requested a selfie that Ben agreed to with little hesitation and a casual “fuck it”. Soon after perfecting their photograph, the nurse requested the group to leave. 

“We’ll stop by again, Ben. Get better soon, okay?” Rosita put her hand over his. 

“I’ll do my best.” He gave her a small smile, growing weary from medication. He said his goodbyes to the troupe before looking at Johnny. “Are you going too?” He frowned, anticipating his answer.

“No. I’m staying right here as long as they’ll let me.” Johnny took a seat in the chair next to the bed and looked to the nurse for her objections. 

“I’ll see about finding a cot and a visitor badge for you. Ring the call button if you need anything.” She pulled the door closed,  leaving  the two of them alone. The room was quiet, save for the gentle rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor. Johnny kept his gaze on the floor, finding it difficult to look at Ben without waves of guilt crashing through him.

“Are you okay?” Ben extended his hand out over the side of the bed towards Johnny. The medical alert bracelet and hospital ID were secured around his wrist. 

“Ben, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” Johnny took his hand gently. Ben’s hands were scarred and calloused from years of training. They were dirty from the fight with dirt and blood remaining trapped beneath his fingernails. The singer looked around the room and noticed a series of well labeled drawers. 

“Why’s it your fault?” The words slurred from Ben’s mouth and he pouted when Johnny moved out of reach. The singer crossed the room and rummaged through the drawers.

“They were after me, Ben. Not you. You shouldn’t have been involved at all! It wasn’t your problem!” Johnny came back to the bedside with an array of cotton swabs and moist gauze. “Now you’re in the hospital because I didn’t figure out how to deal with them. I’m such an idiot...” He sighed deeply and sat back down before gently cleaning the filth from Ben’s hands. 

“If if you think I’m just gonna fuckin’ stand by and let somebody hurt you because it’s not my problem then, yeah, you are an idiot. The biggest idiot.” Ben turned his hand and caught Johnny’s fingers in his own. “I won’t let anybody get away with that. Not today, not tomorrow, never ever. I’ll fight everybody…” Ben’s voice grew softer until his murmurs became inaudible. His hold on Johnny’s hand grew lax as he slept, succumbing to his medication. Johnny watched for Ben’s chest to rise and fall normally before he continued with his labors. 

\---

The nurse returned with a small cot and blanket soon after Johnny had finished cleaning Ben’s hands. She helped him set it up beneath the window and left him with the hours of the cafeteria and a menu. Johnny sat quietly, occupying his mind with his phone as the midday sun traveled across the sky and cast a strong orange light through the window. He reached up and closed the blinds of the window to shield  his eyes  from the brightness. A groan from the bed drew his attention, and he moved from the cot to the chair. 

“Hey you. How are you feelin’?” Johnny spoke quietly, frowning as he noted the pained expression on Ben’s face.

“Oh, my god...everything hurts and I’m dying.” Ben croaked.

“You’re not dying. Your medication’s just worn off. You want me to call the nurse to get you more?” The quick nod was all Johnny needed before he pressed the call button near the bedside. The nurse knocked at the door before entering.

“Hey, how are you guys doing in here?” It was a different nurse from the bear that  had taken  care of them earlier that day. The bobcat walked across the room to stand at the bedside.

“Is it possible for him to get some more meds? The last stuff’s worn off.”

“Yeah, of course.” She opened Ben’s chart on a computer near by. “How would you rate your pain, Ben?”

“A solid seven.” He kept his eyes clenched shut as a dull pain radiated through his entire body. His stiff muscles protested loudly as he tried to shift and stretch. “Ow! Fuck!” He cried out when he attempted to bend his knee. “Okay, let’s not do that again. Holy shit.” 

“You okay?” The nurse looked over from her screen and lifted the blanket to examine his knee. “That’s swelled up quite a bit. I’ll get you some ice and some NSAIDS for that too. I’ll be right back.” 

“Have you been here this whole time?” Ben looked up at Johnny once the nurse had left the room. The clock on the wall indicated that it was nearly eight hours since the fight. He noticed Johnny’s jacket and phone resting on the cot by the window. He had a vague recollection of talking to Johnny when the sun was still bright in the sky, but couldn’t determine if it had been a dream or hallucination with his mind foggy with pain killers.  

“Of course I have. Someone has to look after you.” 

“You don’t have to stay. I know you have things to do.” 

“I’m not  going  anywhere, Ben. Anything I have to do, I can do later. It’s not important.” Johnny slipped his hand into Ben’s with a smile as he tried to push the guilt to the back of his mind. 

“Here we go.” The nurse returned with an arm full of cold packs and passed Ben a small plastic cup of pills. She handed him water to help the pills down as she adjusted the packs around Ben’s braced knee. “Oh! You have some more visitors on their way. I saw that your mother just checked in. She’ll be up to see you shortly.”

“WHAT?” Ben coughed. “Who told my mother I was here??” He demanded loudly. 

“I did.” Nana Noodleman entered the room. A bright yellow visitor’s badge stood out against her glamorous attire. She raised a brow at Ben’s audible gasp.

“Judas!” He spat. “How could you??”

“Well, I see the theatre has had an effect on you.” She scoffed. “I suggest you change your attitude, Benjamin. You are not the first drama queen I’ve dealt with.” Nana closed her fan with a resounding slap against her palm. “Priscilla Nielsen and I have been friends for many years. It would be most inappropriate of me not to inform her of your hospitalization.”

“It’s not her business, Nana!”

“Shouldn’t your mum know if you have a heart attack?” Johnny asked, puzzled by Ben’s reaction. 

“Only if I die from it!” Ben whipped his head towards the open door hearing the fast click-clacking of heels approaching from the hallway. “Oh, fuck me. Here we go…” He closed his eyes and braced himself.

“Benjamin James Nielsen!” A female gorilla of middle age and high quality clothes burst into the room, glaring at Ben. “Fighting again?! Do you have a death wish? What is the matter with you?” She gestured wildly with her arms as she approached the bedside, ignoring all others in the room. A young female gorilla and middle aged male entered behind her.

“Priscilla, keep your voice down. We’re in a hospital.” The male gorilla, whose face was just beginning to grey, moved around her to get a better look at his son lying on the bed. “Oh, Ben, what’d you do?” He frowned with concern at his condition. 

“Hi Pop…” Ben only glanced at his father before focusing his gaze on the ceiling as he endured his mother’s chastising.

“Okay! I think everyone needs to calm down!” The nurse raised her hands to try and get their attention.

“I’ll tell you what he did! He started picking fights because he’s angry and unsatisfied and nothing is ever good enough!” Priscilla ignored the nurse. “He quit his good job, he stopped talking to us, and here he is in the hospital _ again _ ! He’s done this before, Roger! When Nana called me and said you were here I thought my worst nightmare had come true and your body was failing! Then I get here and find out you were in an ‘altercation’! I thought you had grown out of this and learned your lesson after last time! I can’t believe this! How could you be so foolish?! Are you doing this on purpose? How many times do you have to end up here-”

“Stop! That’s not what happened!” Johnny could only remember a handful of times when he had raised his voice in anger. He felt the adrenaline pulse through him as he stared Ben’s mother down, his hands wrapped tightly around the bed rail. She put a hand to her chest, unaccustomed to being spoken over let alone shouted over.

“And who are you?” Priscilla looked him up and down, her lip curled in disgust at his filthy clothes and black eye. 

“Very dangerous people came to the theatre today and innocent people could have been hurt if it weren’t for Ben! He bravely stood against them until the cops could get there! They’re all in jail now and can’t hurt anyone again, all because of him! Your son is a hero! You should be proud of him!”  

Johnny felt the eyes of the room on him, but his glare didn’t falter. He would not allow anyone to belittle Ben’s sacrifice, no matter their relation. He took a deep breath through his nose and huffed. 

“I wasn’t aware,” Priscilla stated quickly, regaining what she could of her composure.

“Well, you didn’t give him much chance to explain, did you?” Johnny’s retort came with more venom than intended, but he gave no apology. A rough hand slid across his knuckles and slowly pried his grip from the bed rail.

Ben gazed up at Johnny in awe and fell in love with him all over again. Bathed in the last golden rays of the setting sun, the usually soft spoken singer had  risen to defend him. Johnny called him brave. He called him a hero. Ben had been called many things in his life, but a hero  had never been  one of them. The tears welled up and burned his injured eye beneath the bandages when Johnny finally looked at him. Ben watched Johnny’s expression soften and cracked a smile as he held his hand tightly. 

“Alrighty everybody, let’s just...why don’t we all take a break, huh? You guys can come back for another visit later.” The nurse gestured Ben’s family and Nana towards the door. Priscilla let out an indignant scoff but made no other remarks as she left the room.

“Call us if you need anything, Ben.” Roger put a gentle hand on his son’s shoulder before following his wife and Nana Noodleman. Amelia stayed a moment longer after her parents had left and watched Johnny take his seat at Ben’s side. She tilted her head curiously before a look from the nurse caused her to turn and leave the room.

\---

Johnny found himself alone  as night came and Ben, once again, succumbed to deep medicated slumber. No song came to him to occupy his mind, and he had read through the few magazines one of the nurses had found for him.  His phone had long since died, and the hospital gift shop  had closed before he could buy another. He didn’t dare venture out of the building to find a different store, fearing that if he were to leave, Ben’s condition would suddenly take a turn for the  worse . The accountant wasn’t out of the clear just yet. People came in every few hours to check his vitals and take blood for testing. When Johnny asked about the tests that were being done, the nurses rattled  off strings of medical terminology too quickly for him to understand. But he came away with the most important information: Ben was improving, slowly but steadily. 

He glanced up at the clock as it reached 11pm and sighed. He was tired but he didn’t want to sleep. Too much had happened and he doubted his sleep would be restful and dreamless. His imagination had run wild and dark enough as it was. He didn’t want those nightmares and fought to keep his eyes open. A knock at the door made him flinch. He waited for one of the nurses to enter and raised a confused brow when they didn’t.

“Um, come in?” 

“Hey.” Amelia walked in and closed the door behind her. She took note of her sleeping brother and approached Johnny, extending a paper grocery bag out to him. “I brought you food.”

“Oh.” Johnny stood up and took the bag from her hand. “That’s very nice of you.”

“Call it a peace offering. Ben hates hospital food and I figured you could use some snacks if you need a break from it. I’m Amelia, Ben’s sister. It’s nice to meet you, Johnny.” She held her hand out to shake with the same impassive expression and steely grey eyes as her brother. 

“Yea, likewise. Ben mentioned he had a sister.”  He  shook her hand and  set the bag down on the cot. 

“Did he? That’s a shock.”

“Listen, I’m sorry about earlier when I yelled at your mum. I was really angry at what she was saying. Thank you for bringing dinner.” Johnny glanced down at the floor a bit. With the olive branch extended, it was hard for him not to respond in kind . 

“Oh, this isn’t because of that. We’re a pretty yelly family, so that was nothing. Though, he might want to marry you now.” Amelia glanced over at Ben before returning to Johnny and taking a deep breath to get her nerve. “This is for Saturday. I’m sorry for wrecking your date. You obviously both really care about each other, and I was an asshole. I should have handled the situation like an adult, and I’m sorry.”  The pained expression of her apology reminded Johnny so much of Ben that  their  relation was undeniable, and would have been humorous if the news didn’t strike him  with such  a shock.

“Wait?  _ You _ wrecked our date?” He scowled at her curiously. “I don’t understand.”

“Saturday was Mother’s birthday dinner, and she was really upset that Ben didn’t show up or even call her. He forgot. People forget, but it was a really big deal to her, especially after how much more Ben’s been avoiding us now that he doesn’t work at  Dad’s  firm anymore. So, she got upset, and that got me upset. Then I found your little group shot on Instagram and I was livid that he chose you over us. Even if you don’t always get along with your family, the important dates mater. They do to us anyway. The way I saw it at the time, Ben was choosing to get laid over wishing his mom a happy birthday.” Amelia crossed her arms, uncomfortable and embarrassed. “So I tracked you guys down, found Ben, and we had a big fight, until he ran off.”

“What did you say to him? He wouldn’t even talk to me after he left.” 

“Oh, stuff about you not liking him after you find out how much of an asshole he is, insecurities, things like that. I honestly don’t remember everything that I said, but it was enough.” Amelia shrugged. “So, I’m the asshole this time and I’m sorry.” She reached into her purse and handed him a card. “Here, call me if you need anything.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.” Johnny pocketed the card as his mind raced with new information.

“As angry as my brother makes me, I’m glad he has you.” Amelia watched her brother sleep. “He’s been isolating himself for a long time. It’s good to see he’s not as alone as I thought. Maybe he’ll come back to us someday.”

“Maybe. I hope so. Families shouldn’t fight like that.” Johnny felt a twist in his heart as he thought about his dad. He missed him and he wasn’t going to make it this week for visitation. 

_ Maybe I can call him. _

“Yeah, probably. Anyway, I’m done feeling like an idiot and you probably want to get to bed so, again, I’m sorry and call if you need anything. Will you pass the message to Ben?”

“Of course I will. Thanks for stoppin’ by.” Johnny managed to crack a smile as Amelia took her leave and shut the door quietly behind her.  He was alone again. Johnny glanced up at the clock and groaned. He couldn’t avoid sleep forever and crossed the room. “What a day, huh? And it’s only been 10 hours. Feels like it’s been a week already.” Johnny adjusted the blanket up to Ben’s shoulders as he spoke and received only his light snoring in response. He sat down on the cot and took his shoes off before curling up under his own blanket.

“G’night Ben. I’ll see you in the  morning .”

\---

Johnny looked at his watch for the fourth time and leaned his head back against the building. The grueling music droned on as he stared up at the blue sky. The sun was warm despite the cool air and he considered it a small blessing in his current state of exhaustion. 

“This is Mary, how can I help you?” The woman’s monotonous voice on the other end of the line grated at Johnny’s mind and it took every ounce of patience not to groan out loud.

“Hello, I’d like to talk to my dad, please. I was told by Kel, during my second call transfer, that he can take a phone call from a family member. Pete Addams. Inmate number 2563154. Please, you are the fourth person I’ve spoken to. I just want to talk to my dad.” Johnny repeated for, what seemed like, the hundredth time. 

“Please hold.”

“No no no don’t-” The same terrible hold music cut him off and Johnny inhaled sharply. “Damnit…Why? It’s not like he’s BUSY or ain’t there!” The singer huffed in frustration as he returned his gaze upward, watching the clouds slowly move across the sky. 

_ At least Ben’s procedure will be done by the time I get back. If I get back.  _

“‘Ello?”

“OH! Thank god it’s you! I swear, if you had been another one of those bloody phone people I was gonna lose my damn mind!” Johnny moved away from the wall as the stress of being on hold for over an hour melted away.

“Hard day, son?” Big Daddy snickered, amused at the outburst.

“Oh my god, you have no idea. I didn’t get any sleep. These damn hospital people come in every three hours, make a bunch of noise and you can’t turn the lights off ever. Like, I get that you’re doing your job but can you just shut up or at least try to be quiet?” Johnny started to pace on the sidewalk as he rambled. 

“Hospital people? What the hell you doin’ in the hospital?! What happened?!” 

“I’m fine, Dad. It’s Ben that’s in the hospital, and it’s all my fault. I thought I could handle it and lay low until Raze gave up, but no-”

“Raze?” Big Daddy interrupted, feeling a surge of rage at the mention of his enemy’s name and immediately began putting together a worst case scenario. “Raze attacked Ben to get to you?”

“No, Raze attacked me to get to the caches, and Ben stopped him. I thought I was being careful and that he wouldn’t find me, but he did. Yesterday, he and his boys showed up to the theatre to get me to go with them. Ben wouldn’t let us go, there was a huge fight…” Johnny took a deep breath to settle his shaking voice at the memory. 

“Thought you was being careful? How long you been hiding from them, Johnny?” 

“A couple weeks-”

“WHAT?! A couple WEEKS?! JOHNNY! Why the bloody hell didn’t you tell me?!” Big Daddy’s booming voice crackled, distorted over the phone speaker. Johnny held his phone at arm’s length to spare his ears.

“Because you would have done something stupid like break out again! You would have started a fight, the cops would find you and they’d transfer you somewhere more secure because you don’t get to just break out of prison TWICE, and I’d never see you again!” Johnny retorted. He caught his breath in the silence that followed as he moved farther from the building.

“ ... You sound like your mother, thinkin’ ahead like that.”

“Lot of good it did. I should have figured something out after the first time they caught me.” Johnny took a seat on the curb.

“You could’ve just given it to ‘im. It ain’t worth hidin’ over if it would get them off your back.”

“It’s not my money, Dad! It’s  _ your _ money! It’s Stan and Barry’s money! It’s already my fault you’re in jail! I can’t steal from you too!” He glanced over at the hospital doors to make sure no one was listening when he raised his voice. People gave him enough looks for his filthy clothes, he didn’t need to fuel their gossip. He heard his father sigh.

“You gotta let that go, son. You don’t do what we do for a livin’ without coming to grips that jail could be a very real possibility. We’ve forgiven you. All three of us. Stan and Barry ask about you all the time. Move on from it, Johnny.”

“Yeah, okay…” He stared down at his feet. It wasn’t easy to let go, but hearing the term  _ forgiven  _ was a balm on his  conscience . 

“Explain it to me again so I got everythin’ straight. Raze was lookin’ for you because he was after the money, you wouldn’t give it, he found you, Ben tried to fight them, and now he’s in the hospital. What happened to Raze? Are you safe?”

“Yeah Dad, we’re safe. The Emeralds got arrested. Apparently, Ben had time to call the police before the fight even happened.” Johnny cracked a smile. “He kept them busy until the cops could get there...so they couldn’t come back.”

“Wow. Clever fella, your Ben. Wait .  He kept them  _ busy _ ? As in, he fought them off long enough for the police showed up to finish the job? You said he was an accountant.” Big Daddy scowled in confusion. 

“Ben was a fighter before he was an accountant, but he had to stop because, I just found out this morning, he’s got a bloody heart condition. He had a heart attack during the fight. That’s the biggest reason why he’s in the hospital.” Johnny rubbed his tired face with his hand. “He took down Rip in, like, two seconds. He was _ out _ , Dad.” 

“...what’s his last name? Ben what?”

“Nielsen?” 

“You’re dating Ben  _ Nielsen _ ?! Stonefist Nielsen!” Big Daddy laughed loudly. “I loved that kid! We made a lot of money off him a few years ago! I was wondering where he went. He’s an accountant now. That’s hilarious. I can’t believe you’re datin’ ! Stan’s gonna lose his shit.”

“We’re not dating, Dad.” The burning in Johnny’s face was not from the sun.

“Right. Uh huh. Sure.” Big Daddy scoffed. “The hell you’re not. You don’t fight off four nasty leopards for your ‘casual friends’, son.”

“Can you not?” Johnny groaned, embarrassed and unaccustomed to having relationship conversations with his dad. He glanced at his phone, hearing someone else’s voice in the background.

“I gotta go. They’re kickin’ me off. Listen, everything will be alright. Hang in there. You’re safe, Ben’s safe, and he’ll recover. Boy heals quick.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Dad.”

“I love you, Johnny.”

“Love you too, Dad. Bye.” Johnny frowned when the line disconnected. He didn’t think a long phone call would be allowed, but he didn’t expect it to be so short. He stood up from the curb and brushed the dust from the seat of his pants before turning to go back inside the hospital. The honking of a horn caused him to turn his head. 

“Johnny! Hey!” Buster stood on the passenger seat of Eddie’s car and waved his arm.

“Will you put your seatbelt on, please? You’re gonna get us a ticket.” Eddie warned and then sighed when the koala didn’t listen.

“Hello, Mr. Moon. Eddie. Stopping by to visit?” Johnny smiled.

“We’re on our way to see Nana, but I figured we could spare a few minutes to check up on you. How are you? How’s Ben doing?” Buster leaned over the car door.

“He’s still really out of it. The medications they give him put him to sleep a lot, but the nurses say he’s improving. They’re thinking he might get to go home before the week is over.” 

“That’s great news! Oh, before I forget.” Buster reached down for a plastic shopping bag and held it out to Johnny. “I figured if you’re staying here, you might want a change of clothes.”

“Oh, thank you!” Johnny took the bag gratefully and looked down at his current clothes. “Yeah, I think everyone wants me to have a change of clothes. Thank you, Mr. Moon.”

“Of course. Listen, I know this probably isn’t a great time, but I need to know if you’re coming this weekend. I understand if you’re not, but the show must go on. With or without you, Johnny.”

“Yeah, I know…” Johnny frowned knowing he was missing out of his first career show, but he had different priorities. “There will be other shows. I can’t leave him here and perform at my best. I’m sorry.”

“Then at other shows we’ll see you! Don’t worry about it, okay?” Buster sat down in the seat and buckled the safety belt. “We’ll see you later, Johnny. Take care of yourself, and give Ben our best.”

“Sure thing. See you later.” Johnny waved as they turned onto the road and drove away.

\---

The keys jingled in the quiet hallway as Johnny unlocked the entry door to Ben’s loft. With a large hospital bag slung over his shoulder, he held the door open as the accountant limped in on crutches. Ben released a deep sigh of relief being back in his space.

“Fucking finally. That was the longest I’ve ever been in the hospital.” He made his way over to the couch and slowly sat down. He set his crutches to the side and winced as he lifted his leg up to elevate on the coffee table. “What day is it anyway?”

“Friday.” Johnny closed and locked the door before setting his burdens down near the kitchen island. “And yeah, I can imagine a heart attack would land you in the hospital for a while.” He looked at the time displayed on the stove and understood why his eyes felt so heavy. Ben didn’t get discharged until late in the afternoon and it took several hours after the decision to get him set up with medication refills, follow up appointments and fit him with a brace and crutches for his knee. 

_ The show is already over by now. It’s okay. There will be other shows.  _

“It’s never taken that long before.” Ben scratched at the scabs on his knuckles. “Thank you again for staying with me and taking me home. You didn’t have to do all that.” He smiled at Johnny as the singer came closer to join him on the couch. It was an odd adjustment having to turn his head farther to see. The thick patch over his eye left him blind on that side.

“I disagre-Ben! Quit pickin’ at your hands!” Johnny huffed as he returned back to the kitchen to dig through the hospital bag. “You’re going to make them bleed again! They’ll scar.”

“They’re already scarred.” Ben glanced down at his knuckles feeling a new wetness to them as he peeled a scab. “Woops.” 

“See? I told you.” Johnny returned to his seat on the couch with antiseptic cream and a roll of bandages. He took Ben’s hand and gently applied the antiseptic before wrapping the bandage around his knuckles. His brows furrowed in concentration and frustration. “I wish they had done this in the hospital. It might’ve kept you from pickin’ at them the first dozen times I told you not to.”

“Sorry.” Ben watched Johnny’s face as the singer worked. He had been hypervigilant in the hospital. Johnny listened to every word the nurses and doctors said regarding Ben’s recovery and rarely left his side. Ben noticed how his shoulders were raised with tension and his eyes were dark from a lack of sleep. “Johnny.” 

“Hm?” Johnny kept his eyes focused on his task.

“Johnny.” Ben repeated until the singer looked up to meet his gaze. He turned his hand over to wrap his fingers around Johnny’s. “It’s okay. We’re home. I know you’ve been really stressed out and I’m sorry to have caused that, but you can relax now. Everything’s fine. Take a breath.” Ben smiled at him. He hadn’t meant to say  _ we _ , but it fell from his voice naturally and caused a pleasant flutter in his stomach. “Inhale, then exhale.”

Johnny stared at Ben, taking in the details of his damaged but still smiling face. His grey  eye was  bright and his demeanor was calm. Johnny took a deep breath as instructed, and the air around them shifted as he felt a pull in his body. He hesitated for the briefest of moments before putting his hands on either side of Ben’s face and moved forward to meet his lips with his own. He felt Ben smile in the kiss and lean into it, accepting and wanting. Johnny finally let his mind relax and everything hit him at once like a ruptured dam. 

His sob interrupted their kiss and he bowed his head as  his  hands dropped to Ben’s chest, gripping his shirt tightly. Johnny clenched his eyes shut as his body shook and he gasped for air only to sob again and again.  

“Johnny??” Ben reached out for him in concern. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He tilted his head down to see Johnny’s face as his cries continued. 

“You...you almost died..!” Johnny managed to choke out between breaths. He pulled Ben closer and pressed his forehead against the accountant’s shoulder. His tears wouldn’t stop. Every thought and emotion that he had forced to the back of his mind came surging forward like a storm. He  had  felt compelled to hold a strong face for the troupe and in the presence of the hospital staff. He had to be focused and in the moment to care for Ben and be strong by his side. Johnny heard the police officer’s voice in his head once more. “You stopped  _ breathing _ !”

“Yeah, but I’m breathing now. It’s okay.” Ben held him close and kissed the top of his head. 

“No, it isn’t! It’s not okay at all!” Johnny shook his head.

“Alright, hey. Listen, you’re right. It wasn’t okay. It was really scary.” Ben rocked gently back and forth as he rubbed his hand over Johnny’s back. “But, it’s okay  _ now _ . I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. I’m safe and you’re safe and we got through it. Deep breaths, I’ve got you.”

Johnny’s sobs quieted and calmed after several minutes. His head ached, his eyes burned, and he felt exhausted on all fronts. He sniffled and slowly lifted his head back up.

“I’m sorry…”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” Ben gave him a sweet smile and gently kissed his forehead. “C’mon. It’s time for bed.” He slowly released Johnny and grabbed his crutches. With some assistance, Ben stood up and made his way for the stairs to his bedroom.

“Do you need help?” Johnny stayed very close, unsure of how Ben was going to manage.

“I’ll take a spotter. I’ve been up and down stairs on crutches before but it’s been a while.” 

The ascension up the stairs was slow and tiring. Ben took a breath at the top of the stairs and limped his way over to his bed. He leaned his crutches against the wall and flopped down on the mattress.

“Oh my god, I’ve missed you bed. Hospital beds are shit.” He pushed himself back up to sit and made an attempt at removing his shirt. His body was still very sore and Ben found his range of motion drastically limited with his shirt stuck on his head. “Fuck…”

“Can I help you?” Johnny cracked a smile and took hold of the shirt, gently pulling it the rest of the way and tossing it to the floor. His face grew hot at the striking realisation that he was taking Ben’s clothes off in his bedroom. “Socks on or off?”

“Off please. Thank you.” Ben smiled as Johnny knelt down to remove his socks and help him into bed. A pillow was used to prop up Ben’s braced knee. He chuckled when Johnny pulled the covers up to his shoulders. “I’m not used to being taken care of.”

“Well, you better start. I don’t plan on going anywhere unless you tell me to. It’s the least I can do for what you did.” Johnny picked up the discarded clothes and tossed them into the hamper in the closet. “I don’t think I ever thanked you for that, so, thank you Ben.”

“And, for you, I’d do it again.” Ben reached his hand out of the covers to take hold of Johnny’s. 

“Let’s hope you never have to.” Johnny smiled down at their hands. “G’night, Ben.” He turned and started for the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Ben pushed himself up to sit. Johnny looked over his shoulder, confused.

“I was gonna to go to sleep?” He pointed down the stairs.

“On the couch? No.” Ben shook his head. “It’s not a good sleeping couch. There’s room for you here.” He patted the bed next to him and laid back down. 

“Yeah...okay.” Johnny slowly made his way back to the bed and walked around to the other side. He felt Ben’s gaze as he undressed down to his jeans before climbing under the covers next to him. Johnny closed his eyes as he rested his head back on the pillow. The sheets were pleasantly cool and he felt as if he was cradled by the mattress as his minor aches and pains melted away. “Oh my god, what is this bed made of?”

“Money.” Ben chuckled. He stared up at the ceiling as his smile faded to a frown. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“You said it was bedtime.” Johnny opened his tired eyes and turned his head to look at Ben. 

“I know. I’m sorry, but it’s bothering me.” Ben kept his eyes on the ceiling as his stomach started to tie itself in knots. “I’m really sorry about how I ditched you last week. I panicked and ran away, then I pushed you away without any explanation. You didn’t deserve any of that and I hate myself for it. I’m really sorry I did that to you.” 

“What did you panic about?” Johnny turned to lay on his side, facing Ben to better listen and watch the expressions on his face. He knew Amelia had driven Ben away, but Johnny wanted to hear what he had to say. 

“Stupid shit.” Ben kept his gaze averted and fidgeted with the blanket draped over him. “Like I wasn’t good enough for you or ever would be. You’ve got so much going for you and I’m just...trash. I’d mess everything up.”

“Was that before or after your sister showed up?” Johnny frowned. It pained him to hear Ben talk about himself so negatively. He reached out slowly and found Ben’s hand.

“Both, but definitely after.” Ben gave his hand a squeeze and stroked Johnny’s hand with his thumb. “She told you everything?” He scowled. Despite her gifts sparing him from most of the hospital food, Ben’s opinion of his sister was still raw.

“She told me enough. I know it’s none of my business, but I think your family needs to go to therapy or something. Families don’t always have to get along, but the way you guys fight is just...so sad.” Johnny frowned remembering how Ben’s mother had yelled at him while he was in his hospital bed. 

“Ha! My family in therapy, that’s a good one.” Ben snickered at the idea. “No, that poor therapist wouldn’t get anywhere with us. He’d say we’re all assholes, go home.” 

“I don’t think that’s true. Your sister misses you. She says you’ve been isolating yourself for a long time and hopes you’ll come back some day.” Johnny’s frown deepened when Ben scoffed in response. “Maybe  _ you _ should talk to somebody.”

“No.” Ben groaned. “Johnny, I don’t need another doctor telling me how fucked up I am.”

“Okay, but aren’t they supposed to listen to  _ you _ ? It’s obvious your family’s really hurt you and that they aren’t listening. Maybe talking to someone could help you, I dunno, move on or whatever so you could be happy.”

“You make me happy.” Ben turned his head to smile at him. Johnny let out a small laugh and returned with a smile of his own. 

“Yeah? You make me happy too. That’s what’s important, right?” Johnny inched his way closer and draped his arm across Ben’s chest. He let his head rest against his shoulder and closed his heavy eyes. “You can always talk to me, Ben. No more runnin’ away, okay?”

“I promise.” Ben kissed Johnny’s forehead. “Goodnight, Johnny.” 

\---

“Are you sure you want to go back today? It’s only been a few days since you got out of the hospital. Nobody is going to judge you if you need more rest.” Johnny stood at the sink, washing his face and brushing his teeth. The weekend passed in a blur of long naps, loads of laundry, and sweet kisses. Johnny missed the theatre, but he wasn’t overly eager to leave the quiet peace of Ben’s apartment or the most comfortable bed he’d ever slept in. 

“I’m rested enough.” Ben balanced himself on one leg as he adjusted his clothes in the mirror. He found his suits too restraining with his brace and crutches. Business casual would have to do. He slid his feet into easy loafers and sat down on the bed. “I need to get back and make sure you still have a stage to sing on.” 

“You’ve only been gone a week, Ben. I’m sure everything’s fine.” Johnny rinsed the sink before turning the bathroom light off. He walked over to the bed, where his shirt and Ben sat waiting for him. “Even if it isn’t perfect, it won’t be hard to clean up. It would give you something to do.” 

“Right, because I don’t have enough work.” Ben smiled up at him from his seat. The early morning sun shining through his windows was warm, but it did not compare to the joy within him. He couldn’t remember feeling so at peace, so happy. It was all thanks to Johnny. His smile broadened the singer kissed his forehead. “Ready?”

“Yep. C’mon. You can’t be late.” Johnny took his hands and helped Ben to his feet before handing him his crutches. They made their way slowly down the stairs before leaving the apartment. The curtains remained open. Johnny carried Ben’s bag as they rode the elevator down to meet the cab at the curb. “I don’t see why you called a taxi. I can drive you, ya know.”

“Force of habit. You can drive next time.” Ben slid into the backseat and took his phone from his pocket to check his email as Johnny moved around the car to get in the other side. Johnny watched out the window as the taxi merged into traffic and headed for the theatre. 

“Hey, can I ask you a dumb question?” Johnny fidgeted with the strap of the bag nervously. He had to know. He had to be certain. 

“I doubt it’s a dumb question.” Ben smiled but didn’t look up from his phone.

“I think I know the answer already, but I don’t want to assume and make a fool of myself later if I’m wrong. So, are you my boyfriend now?” Johnny looked over and waited for the answer.

Ben’s eyes could no longer focus on the small screen in front of him as his brows raised in surprise. His heart did a flip and he met Johnny’s eyes.

“Would that make you happy?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah. Yeah, it would.”

“Then yes. I’m your boyfriend now.” Ben paid no attention to his phone and reached across the seat to take Johnny’s hand. His face hurt from smiling and pure joy surged through his body. 

“UGH!” The raccoon cabbie groaned loudly as if in pain. “Oh my fucking god, you guys! Are you serious?! BEN! Holy shit! I can’t believe I witnessed that!”

“Shut up, Frankie.” Ben’s face dropped and his cheeks burned hot.

“You two know each other?” Johnny looked between them.

“That was the most precious thing I’ve ever fucking seen! I think my insides are exploding! Like, my pancreas can’t handle how sweet you two idiots are ! I need an insulin shot right now or I’m gonna die!” Frankie guffawed. “Hold on. I have to call my wife. She needs to be a part of this. Oh! I’ll facetime her!”

“Frankie, no!”

“Ann, baby! You’ll never believe what just happened! Ben got a boyfriend!” Frankie lifted the phone up to see the face of his wife as he continued to drive down the street.

“Ben got a boyfriend?!” The raccoon on the other side of the screen put her hand up to her face in surprise.

“Yeah! Here they are!” Frankie turned his phone , aim ing the camera into the backseat to show her a pair of very embarrassed gorillas.

\---

“Are they here yet?”

“Any minute now!”

“Should we hide and yell surprise?”

“Um, probably not a good idea considering he had a heartattack.”

“Oh, yeah. Fair point.”

“Guys, they’re here!” Ash called back to the rest of the troupe in the lobby as she watched the taxi pull up to the curb in front of the theatre. Johnny got out of the cab laughing while Ben yelled something at the driver  and  tossed his money into the front seat. 

“I am so sorry. I should have warned you. Frankie’s a dick.” Ben adjusted his crutches and glared at the taxi as it drove off down the street.

“You sound like good friends. He’s little Mabel’s dad, right?” Johnny moved a step ahead of Ben to open the door for him as he limped inside. 

Ben’s response was interrupted by the exuberant applause from the lobby. The space was decorated with streamers and balloons while a spread of drinks and snacks were set up on a folding table just outside of Ben’s office. Ben felt the sting of stubborn tears as he read the banner that was placed over his office door.  _ Our Hero! _

“I don’t know how to deal with this.” He muttered to Johnny as the troupe approached them, clearly unaccustomed to such a positive reception.

“Just smile and say thank you.” Johnny laughed as he put a supportive hand on his shoulder.

“Ben! The man of the hour! Welcome back!” Buster held his arms open wide and inviting. He reached up to shake Ben’s hand. 

“We have, like, missed you both so much! You are so brave fighting off those thugs so we throw you a party!” Gunter grinned and gestured to the decorations around them. 

“Um, Mr. Nielsen? I wasn’t sure what your favorite flavor of cake was but I asked Johnny when you were in the hospital and he said you really liked peanut butter so I baked you a peanut butter cake. I hope you like it.” Meena smiled bashfully, her ears partly covering her face.

“Nana’s been taking care of the accounts while you’ve been gone so there’s nothing for you to worry about. We threw this together kinda last minute so she couldn’t make it but she said she’s going to stop by later to see how you’re doing.” Eddie smiled with his hands tucked in his pockets.

“It’s so good to see you on your feet again, Mr. Nielsen.” Ms. Crawley rubbed some dust from her glass eye before popping it back into the socket.

“If there’s anything you need just let us know, okay?” Rosita put a gentle hand on his arm. 

“Yeah! We’re here for you. And by the way, diggin’ the eyepatch, man. I thought it was going to make you look like a nerd or a pirate, but it doesn’t at all.” Ash added before blowing a bubble with her gum. 

Ben looked at their warm and smiling faces and felt a sense of belonging that he had been missing for many years. He found himself at a loss for words as he focused on not crying, until he registered what Meena had said. He turned his head to her with a look of surprise.

“Wait, you can make a cake with peanut butter?”

\---

An hour and several pieces of cake later, Ben finally sat down at his desk. Nana and Buster left him very detailed notes on the happenings of the theatre in the last week. A few of the shows and rehearsals had been canceled by the fight and clean up afterwards but thanks to quick thinking and a couple you-owe-me-one phone calls, the theatre was up and running for normal business by Wednesday afternoon. Ben started up his computer to take a closer look at the accounts and see what was left to be done, only to find he was not far behind in his work at all.

_ Looks like they had everything taken care of.  _

He glanced up hearing Johnny laughing from the lobby. Ash and Gunter were telling him about the show, it’s great success and large crowd turn out as they helped him clean and tidy up the lobby. They told him how audience members waited after the show to meet the troupe and asked about Johnny and why he wasn’t there. The troupe had decided on “family emergency” as the proper answer. Ben frowned even as Johnny smiled.

_ He missed his first show to take care of me. What can I do? There has to be another time slot to fit him in. I’m sure we could tag him onto another show, or do an encore? _

The show calendar was booked for a whole month out and filling quickly. Ben leaned back in his chair as he rolled possibilities around in his brain. Even though the New Moon Singers did have a weekend a month down the road, that was too long of a wait. Johnny had practiced so hard to perfect his song for this show and he chose to stay by Ben’s side instead. 

_ What would make him happy?  _

An idea struck him and he quickly leaned forward again to research his sudden epiphany. He found the phone number he needed and waited for several minutes on hold before someone answered.

“Hello, what’s your policy on outside performers?” 

Ben had a long list of criteria and answers to questions by the time he was done with his phone call. If he could pull it off, it would be a great gift for Johnny. The idea was definitely out of the scope of his job. He would need help. He pressed the intercom call button.

“Mr. Moon, are you busy? I need to discuss something with you.”

\---

“Are you sure about this, Ben? I didn’t know this was really a thing.” Buster looked over the notes as he sat in the chair across from Ben’s desk.

“It’s a thing. They sent me the PDF of the policy and we fit the criteria fine. It’s great exposure and it’s got potential for a tax write-off.”

“Sure, the tax write-off. This wouldn’t happen to be for a certain soulful piano player, would it?” Buster shot him a sly smirk over the top of the notepad. “Because that would be so sweet.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Ben shifted a few papers on his desk.

“I’ll run it by the troupe and see what they think. We can just do an encore of the weekend and add Johnny. We still have the old light cues saved on a computer somewhere. We’ll call it a charity show!” Buster hopped off the chair and left the office, taking the notepad with him.

“That’s a good word for it.” Ben read over the policy documents again. He knew Buster would be able to spin the idea to be most appealing to the troupe, but there was still the possibility that they would refuse. The venue wasn’t exactly their cup of tea. Johnny’s sudden appearance at the door drew his attention away from the computer.

“We can really do this? They’ll let us come in and perform?” Johnny’s wide eyed and hopeful stare made Ben’s heart surge with warmth.

“Yes, as long as everyone follows the rules and we ca-” Ben was cut off Johnny’s lips being pressed against his own. 

“Thank you!” Johnny wrapped his arms lovingly around Ben’s neck. “Thank you so much! Whatever needs to be done to make this happen, I’ll do it ! ”

“Anything for you, Johnny. We’ll make it work.”

\---

Johnny practiced his show song again and again. It had to be perfect. The charity show was only a week away and it was hard to contain his enthusiasm. The rest of the troupe was hesitant at first, but ultimately agreed on the venue after witnessing Johnny’s response to the idea. 

“Hey Johnny! Sounds like you’re back in the swing of things.” Ash walked into the practice room with her guitar in one hand and a laptop bag in the other. “Do you want to hear how the ballad turned out?”

“Yeah, of course I do ! ” Johnny turned on the bench as Ash set up the laptop to play the musical sections that she had recorded. He bobbed his head to the sound and laughed at the lyrics as she sang and played her guitar. “I love it! That sounds great! I don’t think it’s what Mr. Moon had in mind though.”

“He said my take on a ballad. This is my take on a ballad.” She smirked and adjusted the tuning of her guitar. “And, to be perfectly honest with you, I think you should sing it. I mean, the best parts of the song are the ones that you wrote. It would sound great with your voice!” 

“You want me to sing it? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, man! It really feels like it’s more your song than mine. I bet we could even do it at the charity show. Tag it on at the end, you know? Our first collaboration. It would be great!” She smiled up at him. “Here, I printed out sheet music for the piano parts.” Ash unfolded the papers from her pocket and held them out to him.

“Our first collaboration...” He repeated as he looked over the sheet music. The chords were very simple and the lyrics would be easy to pick up. All they would need to do is extend the light cues. “Do you think Mr. Moon would let us just add to the show?”

“Uh, yeah! He’d be totally into it! C’mon, let’s run through it! I’ve been dying to hear how you sing it.” Ash restarted the recorded sections on her computer. 

“Al l  right, al l  right! Gimme a minute! I only know the words!” Johnny laughed and set up the sheet music before playing the notes.

\---

The white concrete walls were a great backdrop for the portable stage lights the New Moon Singers were able to transport. The stage was just a taped off area four yards away from the plastic folding chairs and benches that were set up for the audience. Long orange extension cords were rigged up to power the lights and speakers, while a simple curtained off area gave the illusion of a backstage and a place for the performers to rest and prepare. Buster found it reminiscent of their very first show. 

“Al l  right, everybody ready? They’re letting the audience in! Meena, you’re on first. Then Ash, Rosita and Gunter, then Johnny.”

“Then the collab?” Ash raised her hand to get his attention.

“Yes, then the collab. Johnny will already be set up, so it works out great.” Buster chuckled reading over the lyrics once more. “This is really your idea of a ballad?”

“What? It’s my first one, and that’s the way it demanded to be written , ” Ash defended with her arms crossed.

“Who am I to argue with the artist?” He raised his arms in  mock  surrender. Buster walked out to a sea of orange jumpsuits as the prison inmates were directed into the cafeteria in an orderly fashion. “Come on in everyone! Once we all get seated we can get the show started!” 

Ben had a seat off to the side of the room where he could see the show but stay well out of the way of the performers. He scanned the room for any sign of familiar leopards and was relieved not to see them. The policy stated that only inmates displaying good behavior would be allowed to watch the show. He doubt ed the Emeralds would be well behaved at all if they were to see him in the same room. 

A trio of gorillas entering the cafeteria drew his attention. One of them was particularly larger than the other two. Ben watched as they broke from the line and moved to the front of the audience, despite the chairs already being filled.

“Oi, Kevin! You’re in my seat.” Big Daddy towered over the small beaver sitting front row center. Kevin merely raised his hands and surrendered his spot, walking away without a word. Stan and Barry shooed away the occupants of the chairs on either side of Big Daddy and got settled in to see the show from the best spot in the room. Ben felt himself start to sweat.

_ Oh, fuck me. He’s a lot bigger than his picture on the news… _

“Everybody in? Great! Without any further delay, I present to you the New Moon Singers! Please give a warm welcome to our first performer, Meena!” 

Meena’s stage presence lit up the room despite being nervous about her current audience. Each act got a roaring applause at their conclusion. Johnny got a particularly enthusiastic applause from his former gang when he walked on stage and they stood up to clap for him at the end of his sweet rendition of  _ Symphony _ . Ben pushed himself up with his crutches to do the same. He smiled seeing the heartfelt expression on Big Daddy’s face.

“That’s my boy.” Big Daddy wiped a tear from his eye, proud as he could be.

Johnny stood and took a bow, then hurried over to help Ash set up the remaining equipment before taking his seat at the piano again. 

“Well done, Johnny! We have one more act for you folks! A collaboration written and performed by Ash and Johnny.” Buster set the mic back on the stand as Ash plugged in her guitar.

“Hi! So, this was supposed to be a ballad, but it didn’t really work out like that. We still think it’s cool and we hope you like it.” Ash stomped out the count loudly before triggering the laptop to play loudly through the stage speakers. Johnny met eyes with Ben, feeling a fire in his heart as he opened his mouth to sing. 

 

_ Take your clothes and rip 'em, rip 'em off _

_ Call these hoes and tip 'em, tip 'em off _

_ You can tell them you are mine _

_ I'm sick of, sick of games _

_ No more time, you lit the, lit the flame, yeah _

_ We live in an age where everything is staged _

_ Where all we do is fake our feelings _

_ I've been scared to put myself so out there _

_ Time is running out, yeah _

_ Need to let you know that _

 

The computer generated sound was not something Johnny was used to singing to but it blended seamlessly with the piano chords and Ash’s guitar. She joined him for the chorus as the audience bounced to the beat.

 

_ Last night I woke the fuck up _

_ I realized I need you here, as desperate as that sounds, yeah-eh _

_ Last night I woke the fuck up _

_ I realized I need you here, as desperate as that sounds, yeah-eh _

 

_ Take these walls and rip 'em, rip 'em down _

_ Take my (uh) and snip 'em, snip 'em now _

_ I will tell them I am yours and very, very proud _

_ I am forced to give in, give in now cause _

_ We live in an age where everything is staged _

_ Where all we do is fake our feelings _

_ I've been scared to put myself so out there _

_ Time is running out, yeah _

_ Need to let you know that _

 

Ben laughed at the profanity of the lyrics and had no doubt it was Ash who wrote those particular parts. He felt a pleasant swelling in his chest, feeling a connection to other sections of the song. If Johnny were to be proud of him, it would be the greatest gift. Ben felt it was true with the way Johnny looked at him and only him as he sang. 

 

_ Last night I woke the fuck up _

_ I realized I need you here, as desperate as that sounds, yeah-eh _

_ Last night I woke the fuck up _

_ I realized I need you here, as desperate as that sounds, yeah-eh _

_ Last night I woke the fuck up _

_ I realized I need you here, as desperate as that sounds, yeah-eh _

_ Last night I woke the fuck up _

_ I realized I need you here, as desperate as that sounds _

 

The background music and Ash pause d so only Johnny and his piano were heard. The tempo slowed, and he sang soft ly and sweetly.

 

_ We live in an age where everything is staged _

_ And all we do is fake our feelings _

_ I'm so scared to put myself so out there _

_ Time is running out, yeah _

_ Need to let you know that _

 

The tempo returned to its fast pace as Ash and Johnny completed the chorus one final time.

 

_ Last night I woke the fuck up _

_ I realized I need you here, as desperate as that sounds, yeah-eh _

_ Last night I woke the fuck up _

_ I realized I need you here, as desperate as that sounds, yeah-eh _

 

The audience erupted in applause once again and continued with a standing ovation as the rest of the troupe joined Ash and Johnny on the stage for their final bows. Ben clapped along with the audience and didn’t notice  a towering ape approaching until he felt a shadow engulfing him. Ben turned his head to see nothing but a broad chest  filling  his entire field of vision, and looked upwards.

“Fuck…” Ben muttered quietly under his breath as he kept his expression composed.

“You must be Ben! Johnny’s told me all about you. Name’s Pete. It’s great to finally meet you.” Big Daddy grinned and extended his hand out to shake. 

“Likewise. I’m glad we could get this show put together so you could see it.” Ben smiled, surprised by the friendly approach, and shook his hand. 

“Oh, it was great! I never got the chance to hear my son sing. He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” Big Daddy looked over at his boy for a moment before putting his other hand over Ben’s to hold it still. “Listen, I want you to know how much I appreciate what you did with them bloody leopards. I can rest easy knowin’ my son is so loved and taken care of.”

“I think he takes care of me more than I take care of him.” Ben let out a small laugh. “But I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

“Yeah, I know you would. Love makes you do crazy shit, eh?” Big Daddy glanced behind him hearing one of the guards shout at him to get back to his seat. He put a hand on Ben’s shoulder with a wide smile. “Thanks again, Stonefist.” Big Daddy crossed in front of the stage to return to his chair and held his arms out to his son. Johnny didn’t waste the opportunity and embraced his dad tightly, much to the annoyance of the guards near by. 

\---

_ Love sure does make you do crazy shit. And for you, I’ll give this a try. _

Ben thought to himself as he stood outside the townhome door and read the business card again.

_ Karen McClean, Professional Counselor for Individuals and Family. “Find the path to a better you!”  _

He took a deep breath to settle his nerves before ringing the bell and was greeted by a young blue crane with large round glasses and a big smile.

“Good morning, Ben! Come on in and have a seat. Make yourself comfortable.” She gestured for him to enter and shut the door behind them. “Just to clarify, this is your first time seeing a counselor?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh, wonderful ! It’s very brave of you taking these steps to heal. I truly hope I can be of great service to you.”

“So do I.”

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it!
> 
> That's the end! :D Thank you guys so much for being patient with me this last chapter. I really hope you all enjoyed the story. It's been so long since I've completed a project of this size and it really means a lot to me. I do have plans for Ben and Johnny future works so I hope I can get all my words down on paper to share with you :)
> 
> "Woke the Fuck Up" By Jon Bellion
> 
> Shout out to Josh for being the best beta reader and editor a girl and her gay gorillas could ask for! <3


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